


How much?

by JasonPeace



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex Toys, Twincest - Not Related
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:04:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasonPeace/pseuds/JasonPeace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Kaulitz is a struggling singer who can’t seem to make it out of the ‘garage phase’ while trying to juggle a part time job and college.<br/>Tom Trümper is the bored owner of a multi-million dollar record company, always on the look-out for ‘the next big thing’. </p><p>Bill is a hopeless romantic who’s been waiting his entire life for Mr. Right .<br/>Tom is a hopeless player who’s never been interested in anyone for longer than one night.  </p><p>When Bill’s friend Georg breaks up with his long term girlfriend, Bill loses faith in love and decides to ‘just do it’. He thinks the best way to go about this matter is professionally, and looks for a street hustler who will do and be everything he ever wanted.<br/>When Tom gets a call from an old buddy, he agrees to meet him on a street corner at the St. Monica Blvd. in the middle of the night. However before Tom’s friend shows up, a flustered college kid makes him an offer he can’t refuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

With a relieved sigh, Bill hung his apron next to the others just as Li Jing came back into the kitchen.

"Andreas! You hurry with dishes; I want to go home. Bill why you no help him," she smiled suggestively and Bill groaned; Andreas was the new dishwasher and he was so slow it was painful to watch. It was already close to midnight and the guy wasn't even half done yet.

Dejectedly, he put his apron back on, and went to help Andreas with the large pile of dirty dishes while Li Jing did the accounting for that day.

"You know it's a lot easier if you use clean water," Bill grumbled, watching the disgusting soup in which Andreas was dunking the dishes. He emptied the sink and began filling it with clean, hot water so they could get this thing moving and go home before 1am.

"Thanks Bill. You know how much I love working with you," Andreas grinned, brushing his bleached hair out of his eyes with his forearm.

"No problem," Bill smiled, trying to ignore him. Ever since his first day here, Andreas had been hitting on him so obviously that the entire restaurant staff had noticed, and Bill still did his best to pretend he didn't notice it at all.

They had gone through four dishwashers in the year that Bill had been working at the Golden Koi already, and every time Bill had to help them get settled in, just to watch them leave a few months later. The job just sucked so bad no one wanted to stick to it. Bill was really glad he was a cook and not a dishwasher; it ruined his nails every time he had to help out with this.

It took them less time than Bill had expected, so at 12:30 they were ready to close, and Bill was ready to pass out. Not to mention he had classes in the morning; great.

"Out, out," Li Jing ushered them out of the kitchen through the back door before closing up.

"I'll see ya tomorrow Bill," Andreas winked, getting on his green Vespa after strapping the helmet on.

"Yeah," Bill sighed, searching through his pockets for a cigarette.

"Why you still smoke Bill? I tell you to quit so often!" Li Jing scolded him when he finally found one and placed it between his lips, absently listening to Andreas' Vespa disappearing into the crowded street next to the restaurant.

"I know. I'm trying Jing," he mumbled, flicking on the lighter; it was actually none of her business whether he smoked or not, but it was still true; he really was trying to quit. Failing miserably, but still trying.

"You have early shift tomorrow. Be late again and I cut pay," she said sternly before getting into her car; "Get rest Bill, you look tired!" she smiled and waved before closing the door.

Bill just nodded; he'd been late today because he'd met up with Georg and Gustav for a small practice session and completely forgotten the time.

After Li Jing drove out of the small parking lot behind the restaurant, Bill slowly moved to his own car, quickly finishing his cigarette before getting into the 1999 Honda Civic. Bill hated the car, but it was the only thing he could afford; at least he had a car, he tried to encourage himself.

The drive back to the apartment he shared with his roommates was only about ten minutes, so he found himself in the familiar driveway at a quarter to one. If he managed to be asleep in fifteen minutes he'd have five hours of sleep before having to get up to get ready for classes. Just another Thursday.

However as Bill unlocked the door and entered his apartment, all plans of being in bed at one flew out the window.

"Guys, what's going on?" he asked upon entering the kitchen to find both roommates sitting at the kitchen table; Georg looked positively miserable, while Gustav was just sitting there, looking sympathetic.

"Johanna left," Georg uttered despondently.

"What? Left to go where?" Bill asked in total confusion.

"She left me," Georg sighed, laying his head on the table while Gustav patted his shoulder.

"What...?" Bill wasn't sure he had understood him correctly; Georg and Johanna had been childhood sweethearts. In Bill's opinion they had been the most perfect couple in the world; they were like Romeo and Juliet - without the dead part. He had always thought if any couple in the world could make it, it would be them.

Georg sniffed miserably, nodding; "She said she wasn't happy anymore..."

"That's rubbish! You guys were perfect for each other!" Bill said angrily; how could she? They really were perfect for each other. They had been dating for over ten years, for freakssakes. That, and Bill knew that Georg had intended to propose to her on her next birthday which was in a few weeks' time.

"I guess we weren't," Georg sighed sadly.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry," Bill sat down on the table, still not being able to believe it; if Georg and Johanna didn't work out, nothing would. He had always been so jealous of Georg for having that incredible relationship, and had always hoped that someday he would be able to find someone like that as well.

"I don't understand. She just broke up like that? No good reason, nothing?" Bill asked in disbelief, looking at Gustav since he couldn't see Georg's face because it was buried under his long hair.

"Apparently she wants more in life. She just wasn't satisfied with the 'dead end' that was our relationship," Georg growled angrily, lifting his head off the table; "She said she wants something new in her life. Supposedly she had already missed so much by being with me, and now she wants something or someone new..."

"Missed out? Missed out on what?" Bill asked confused.

"I don't know... life? Love? Sex? Other men? The hell do I know," Georg grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

For Bill it had always been the most amazing thing about their relationship; neither of them had ever been with anyone else before. It made everything so special. It made everything exactly what Bill had always wanted; a perfect first love. Just like in fairytales with a happily ever after.

"I never felt like I was missing out on anything... She was everything that I ever wanted," Georg muttered sadly, and Bill edged closer with his chair, wrapping his arms around his miserable friend.

"I'm really sorry G," he murmured softly, rubbing his back; "I'm sure you can find way better than her." Even though he said it, he didn't actually believe it; Georg would never again find such an amazing relationship. They had been soulmates in Bill's opinion.

~*~

"Tom, wait!" David yelled, weaving through the crowd towards him; "You're already leaving?"

Tom raised an eyebrow, tilting his head first left and then right towards each of the girls by his side; "Yeah... I found everything I was looking for," he smirked, receiving a few giggles from the girls.

"Right," David cleared his throat; "But this party is hosted for you."

"And I am so grateful for that. I had a lot of fun," he assured his friend; "But not as much fun as I'm about to have at home," he added with a mischievous grin that earned him another round of giggles from his female companions.

"So shall I tell Webster that they got the deal?" David urged, always thinking about work.

"Yes, they can drop the papers by tomorrow," Tom confirmed the deal with the new corporate law firm that would be representing them from now on. He had fired the last one recently because they had proven to be completely incompetent, and hadn't paid any attention to what he had wanted.

"Very well, I'll let them know," David nodded, relieved that finally they had a lawyer again.

"Great. Say goodnight David," Tom grinned beginning to walk again.

"Goodnight David," the girls giggled again, following him outside while David just mumbled an awkward goodnight somewhere in the background.

The valet was already waiting when Tom exited the building and handed him his keys; "Here you are, Sir," the young man smiled.

"Thanks," Tom smiled politely, letting the girls into the back of his Escalade; "Ready for some fun?" he smirked at the cheering girls while they drove off to his penthouse in the upper west side of L.A.

 

 

~*~

With a loud groan, Bill chucked his alarm against the wall, not wanting to believe that he had to get up already. He'd only caught a couple of hours of sleep, and felt more tired than when he had gotten to bed earlier. Thank god he only had two classes today.

Then he remembered that he had the lunch shift at the Golden Koi, and wanted to die again. Maybe he should just ditch classes today... it's not like he wanted to become a sales manager anyway; the mere word made him want to puke, but if he wanted his parents to carry on paying his apartment, he had no other choice. But missing just one day wouldn't hurt anyone, right? It's not like his parents would know, right? Just one day, Bill whined in his sleepy mind.

Soon enough his worries were forgotten as he drifted off into sleep again.

Sadly, all too soon he was awoken again.

"Bill! Don't you have to work today?" Gustav yelled, knocking on his door so hard Bill thought he would break it down.

Horrified, Bill jumped from his bed, nearly falling flat on his face in the process, and searched for his poor alarm clock. It was lying next to his closet, looking a bit squished, but generally working. He felt a bit guilty and stroked the alarm gently, setting it back on the nightstand; "Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly; it wasn't the poor alarm's fault that he hadn't gotten enough sleep that morning.

However he was feeling well rested now, at nearly-

"Eleven!" Bill screamed, just now realizing the digits on the clock.

Quickly he rushed into the bathroom, nearly passing out at his reflection in the mirror, and hurriedly went through his morning routine that usually took him nearly an hour; today it had to be done in ten minutes because he had to be at work in... half an hour ago.

  


"Bill!" Li Jing screeched when he stumbled through the kitchen door; "Why you late again?! I tell you no be late today! You cook, now!" she gestured around wildly, pointing at all the incoming orders.

"Sorry," Bill mumbled, joining Liu Jie at the stove.

"About time, kid," he chuckled; "Dragon lady's been going all over me."

"Sorry," he apologized again, taking the next order; lo main and wan tan soup; this was promising to be a long day

  


"Alright, I'm out for today," Bill finally announced at 5:30 that afternoon.

"You wait!" Li Jing bustled into the kitchen; had she seriously heard him from behind the counter...?

"You remember what I say yesterday - I cut you pay if you late!" she glared; "Why you late, Bill?" she demanded, staring up at him. Even though she only reached up to his chest, she was quite intimidating.

"Um... I went to the doctor to talk to him about my smoking problem," Bill lied quickly; it's not like he liked lying to her, but he really needed that money. His car's radio was broken, and there was a shoe sale at RIF's that he needed to save for.

"Oh Bill! I so happy for you!" Li Jing beamed up at him; "Alright, I let you go, but no be late again, you hear?" she said sternly.

"Of course not," Bill promised, knowing it was a promise he couldn't keep.

"Hey Bill!" Andreas called just as he was about to exit the kitchen to the parking lot; Bill groaned.

"What?" he asked with a fake smile, hoping Andreas would be quick; he couldn't wait to get out of here.

"What are you doing tonight? It's Friday, you got plans?" he grinned suggestively.

"Yeah, sorry. I promised my roommates we'd do a Band of Brothers marathon," he lied for the second time that day.

"...Band of Brothers? Are you serious? You're into that?" Andreas asked, raising a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Yeah I love it," third lie; he'd never even seen it, but Georg had a few seasons in his room, and it was the only thing he'd been able to think of.

"Alright... how about-"

"I gotta go, see ya!" Bill called cheerfully before Andreas made him lie again.

Once inside his car, Bill groaned loudly; why couldn't some awesome guy ever hit on him? Why did it always have to be an idiots like Andreas? Not that he was all that bad but... he was just such a kid. Bill wanted someone... else. Someone more mature. Or something. Actually Bill had no idea what he wanted, but he knew what he didn't want, and he didn't want Andreas.

 

"Hey Georg, how's it going?" Bill asked once he finally got home. Apparently Georg hadn't left the apartment all day since he was still wearing his pajamas.

"Uh," Georg grumbled darkly.

"Want some Chinese?" Bill tried to cheer him up and placed the take out he'd gotten at work.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled quietly, burying himself deeper into his blankets on the couch.

"Come on, have you eaten anything at all today?" he tried again, but Georg just shrugged miserably.

"Hey... wanna watch some Band of Brothers?" Bill grinned, willing to do anything to distract Georg.

His friend raised an eyebrow; "You want to watch Band of Brothers? Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"I don't know, why not?" Bill said enthusiastically, pulling Georg up.

"Alright..." Georg sighed with a small smile, letting Bill pull him towards his room.

"Ok, you get comfy, I'll make us popcorn with cheese sauce," Bill clapped his hands enthusiastically.

"That's disgusting," Georg muttered while Bill left.

"I heard that!" he yelled with a chuckle.

"Good," Georg grumbled from his room.

 

"Seriously, how can you not like popcorn with cheese sauce?" Bill asked halfway through the first episode.

"Pssht," Georg growled, staring at the screen.

Bill wrinkled his nose; he was kinda bored and wanted to talk. Watching movies with Georg was awful because Georg always paid such good attention, while Bill much more preferred to chat and laugh about what was happening. Of course in this case there wasn't much to be laughed about, because this whole thing was just tragic, in Bill's opinion.

Thankfully it didn't take very long for Gustav to make an appearance.

"Really? You're watching Band of Brothers?" he asked Bill in total astonishment.

Bill sighed; "Yes..." they had already started episode two.

"Great! I want to watch as well," Gustav smiled, dropping down next to them on Georg's bed; "Ew, really? Popcorn and cheese sauce? I thought you were over that phase."

"It's not a phase guys, I like it. Now shut up about it," Bill glared darkly.

"Gross," Gustav mumbled.

"Shut up Gusti. You like Oreos with peanut butter - you have no right to tell me anything," Bill huffed, flicking Gustav's ear.

"Ow! Oreos and peanut butter are great," Gustav pouted.

"Could you guys either shut up or leave?" Georg growled moodily.

"Sorry..." they both muttered, deciding to shut up for their sad friend's sake.

 

At about 9pm, Gustav announced that he was going to bed because he was really tired from last night and he needed to work in the morning; Gustav worked in a small café, and Saturday mornings were always busy.

"Yeah, we should all get some rest," Georg nodded, obviously having had enough company for tonight, and so they each went to their separate rooms.

With a heavy sigh, Bill took the food to the kitchen; maybe Gustav would want some tomorrow.

This whole thing with Georg was such a mess; how did that happen? Bill wondered on his way to the shower where he had to wash off all the disgusting smell of grease and Chinese food.

The shower was the kind of place where anyone could do anything. It was the perfect place to laugh, sing, cry, think, contemplate, plan, scheme or masturbate; Bill had done all of those things in the shower countless times, but today he just showered.

Sadly his empty state of mind didn't last because his thoughts kept taking him back to Georg's failed relationship, and what that truly meant to him. Bill's idea of love had been built around his friend's love life because it had been perfect. He and Georg had been friends since kindergarten, and ever since Georg and Johanna began seeing each other, it was everything Bill had waited for; that pure, everlasting love that could overcome all obstacles.  
No matter how often people told him that he was immature and stupid, Bill had refused to stop believing in love, and saved himself for his soulmate; but now he began to think that maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe everything that he had believed in was a lie, and the prince charming he was waiting for didn't exist at all - and if he existed he was probably straight and totally not into him.

Completely miserable, Bill finally fell into bed, contemplating crying himself to sleep but eventually deciding he was too tired to cry; there really was no point to it, even if his entire idea of love was falling apart.

Maybe he should just do it like other people; screw love and just have sex for the heck of it. It's not like anyone cared anyway - it's not like the love of his life would suddenly show up and be disappointed that he hadn't waited. Right?


	2. Chapter 2

Tom threw his jacket back on and slipped into his shoes before checking his Rolex; nearly 2am already.

"You know you could just spend the night," the girl wrapped in her blanket smiled at him from the door to the living room.

"Sorry, gotta work in the morning," Tom grinned, giving her a kiss before heading for the door.

"Hey wait," she said while she hurriedly scribbled something down on a paper, handing it to him; "Call me," she smiled suggestively.

Tom took the paper with a smirk before exiting her apartment without another word.

Once outside on the street, he threw the paper into the nearest trash bin that hung on his way to the car; she'd been good, but not that good. Generally Tom preferred variety, unless someone was good enough for him to give it another go, but that was rare. People were boring like that.

With a satisfied smile, Tom slid into his Audi R8, immediately reaching for his phone that he had left in the glove compartment; he had just spent nearly an hour away from it, so it was probably overflowing with messages, even at this late hour.

The display read 18 missed calls and 21 text messages; that wasn't so bad. Most were work related, a few from random girls he might hook up with at some point (or not), and one unidentified number; that could be interesting.

He pressed call, not caring that it was in the middle of the night — the person should be thanking their lucky stars he was calling back at all.

"Tom, ma man!" yelled a voice on the other end after about two or three rings.

"Who the hell is this?" Tom growled, not appreciating the greeting at all and being highly disturbed by the loud music in the background.

"It's Nathan!" the voice laughed while Tom tried to identify it but didn't manage.

"Nathan what?" Tom asked impatiently, close to hanging up.

"Linley. Dude, we went to college together?" the voice was obviously getting somewhat impatient as well.

"Oh! Nathan! Why didn't you just say so?" Tom laughed, regaining his good mood right away.

"How many Nathans do you know, man?" Nathan snorted.

"About 50," Tom chuckled; "How've you been, mate?"

"Yeah right," Nathan snorted again; "Awesome. I'm actually in L.A. and thought I'd look you up. You still owe me money," he laughed slyly. 

"That's why you called me? Because I owe you, what, a thousand bucks? You're a lousy friend," Tom chuckled drily.

"Actually you only owe me 500, but we can make it a thousand if you want. It's not like you'd be missing it, huh Mister Big Shot?" he chuckled.

"If I would be as careless as you with my money, I would soon be missing that 500," Tom barked a laugh, well remembering how he had come to owe him that money; "You still gamble I take it?"

"As ever! Don't tell me you gave it up?" Nathan asked outraged.

"Unfortunately I'm rich now, and can't afford to gamble anymore," Tom chuckled, starting the engine of his car and pulling into the empty street.

"Right. So you became one of those 'grown up, serious' types of people?" Nathan sighed tragically.

"College is over Nate, grow up," Tom advised with a grin.

"Ugh, whatever. Come on, I'm only in L.A. for a few days, let's have some fun! Show me something awesome you can do here," he exclaimed excitedly; the guy hadn't changed at all in the past ten years.

"Alright, alright. I guess I could squeeze you in tomorrow evening. Say... midnight?" Tom was almost certain he'd be free by then.

"Sounds great, man. Where do we meet?"

"Hm. Where are you staying at? I'll just pick you up," Tom suggested.

"Er... maybe not. I'm staying with a few friends and... you don't want to be meeting them. How about at Santa Monica and Wilshire? I live close to there... I think..." Nate finished slowly.

"The boulevard at such an hour? Well that's gonna be fun," Tom chuckled, well knowing what kind of people cruised that street at said hour; "I'll meet you at the crossing of Wilshire at midnight, don't be late."

"Awesome, I'll call you when I'm there!" Nathan cheered and hung up.

Tom chuckled to himself; Nathan had always been good company and he'd been a pretty decent lay. In the past few years his life had begun boring him anyway, so maybe a healthy dose of Nathan was exactly what he needed; maybe he could come up with something more exciting than raving parties, drugs and wild sex.

~*~

"Morning G. You want some pancakes?" Bill smiled when Georg finally crawled out of his room at 11am.

"Gnh..." Georg mumbled, dropping into a chair and slumping on the table.

"I made oatmeal-pear pancakes," Bill said cheerfully, placing the plate in front of his miserable friend. 

Georg crunched up his nose, eyeing it suspiciously; "That sounds so disgusting. Seriously Bill, stop experimenting with food all the time..."

"It's good! Come on, try it," he urged, handing him a fork and some syrup.

"Ugh..." Georg grumbled, poking the pancake.

While Georg ate without complaint, Bill watched him, still trying to make up his mind about things; he didn't ever want to feel like that. He didn't ever want to be left by the person who meant everything to him.

After Georg finished his breakfast, Bill cleaned up the kitchen and then joined him for another round of Band of Brothers which lasted until Gustav came home with pasta for dinner.

 

"How're you doing G?" Gustav asked sympathetically while they ate their dinner on Georg's bed.

"I'm fine, stop asking!" he snapped, suddenly completely irritated; "Just stop talking about it. I'm perfectly fine," Georg growled, stabbing his noodles.

Gustav and Bill exchanged a look that told them both they knew that their friend wasn't fine at all.

"Well... I'm tired, I'm gonna go take a shower and stuff..." Gustav eventually mumbled, retreating into his room.

"Yeah... I'll see you later, G?" Bill asked carefully, not wanting another outbreak from his friend.

"Yeah. Goodnight," Georg smiled halfheartedly, giving him an apologetic look.

Bill just smiled encouragingly and went to his own room, still thinking about the whole love issue; he was 22 years old and hadn't even kissed anyone yet — at least not with tongue, so that really didn't count. For as long as Bill could remember he had been waiting for the perfect first kiss, but it just hadn't happened; the situation and the person had never been right. Even though he'd had tons of crushes, he hadn't ever been in love with anyone, so he had never wanted to get serious; yes, in Bill's opinion kissing was serious too, and he wanted it to be with the love of his life. Just like Georg. Except not really.

So if Georg's first kiss... first love, hadn't been as real as he had believed, maybe Bill's true love didn't exist either. Maybe true love didn't exist at all, and he was just wasting away his life waiting for the right guy who would never come.

Warily Bill stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror; was he just wasting his youth by waiting for a fantasy? Perhaps once he actually did it, it wouldn't seem so special anymore, and he could get over it. Maybe it was just the first time; maybe afterwards it would become unimportant and he'd be able to view it as something casual and meaningless. Perhaps he should just get it over with so he could go on with his life.

Slowly he nodded at his reflection, determined not to let this affect him so strongly; he wouldn't let love, or the lack of it, ruin his life. He would have sex and get over his stupid idea of love; everyone else did it as well, so why not him.

With one last determined nod, Bill stalked back into his room to get ready to... to what? Sure, the idea of having sex was easy to have, but how would one just achieve that so easily? It's not like he could walk up to a random guy on the street and demand to have sex with him. Or could he...? No, probably not.

Groaning in frustration, Bill dropped on his bed; well this was definitely a problem. He didn't know anyone who was a possible... candidate for something like that. Maybe Andreas? Surely he'd be willing to... take away his virginity, right?

No, Bill concluded, Andreas was a very bad option; not only because they worked together, but also because Andreas was so immature... Bill wanted someone with more experience; if it was going to be casual, meaningless sex, at least it should be good, and who knew if Andreas was good in bed; Bill really didn't want to trust some 19 year old kid with the most important night of his life. But who could he trust with it? Who wouldn't call him the next day and ask to see him again? With whom would it not be awkward? Who could he just have amazing sex with and then never see again?

There was only one answer to his dilemma: he needed a pro. Yes, he concluded with a nod at himself; he needed a prostitute. Well that shouldn't be hard to find in L.A. right?

Immediately Bill opened his laptop, searching for the most common places in L.A. where one might find male prostitutes; the closest to his apartment was the Santa Monica Boulevard. According to Google, around midnight to 1am was the best time for this market. Of course he also had to take into consideration that this was something rather expensive and he was rather short on cash as it were, but it was just a onetime thing; he could afford one time, right? How much did these kinds of services cost anyway?

God bless Google. According to the Internet, very common prices were $100-150 an hour; 'Maybe I should become a hooker,' Bill mentally groaned, thinking about the lousy $7,50 he made an hour. On the other Hand... he didn't have to have sex with old, ugly guys that he really didn't like... no, Bill decided, cooking in a Chinese restaurant was better for him. Having to have sex for money and being reduced to something so degrading was Bill's worst nightmare; he would rather rob a bank than sell himself like that. He had always felt really bad for people who had to do something like that; for him it was probably one of the worst, most degrading jobs that existed; he would probably prefer cleaning public toilets - it was probably more sanitary as well.

Which took Bill to his next problem; he didn't actually own any condoms. Did those people have any? They probably did, right? They couldn't be good hookers if they didn't have any. Or were the...customers supposed to bring those? Maybe he should buy some, or ask Georg or Gustav for some. Did Gustav have any...? Did Gustav even have sex? Bill really didn't know because Gustav was very secretive with his love life; now that he thought about it, he really didn't know anything at all about Gustav's romances - he made a mental not to ask him at some point, but right now he needed to get ready; he only had two hours, and that, in Bill's book, was not a very long time. 

For reasons he couldn't explain, he took extra-long getting ready today; it wasn't like a hustler would care what he looked like, but he still wanted to look great.

Unlike on most days, he didn't spike up his hair in that crazy fashion, since that would be useless for the activities he had planned, so he just let it hang down around his shoulders. However he did make sure to use the perfect amount of eyeliner to accentuate his features, and pick his favorite clothes that were still semi casual and not too crazy, with just enough jewelry on his wrists and neck to make him feel perfectly comfortable.

By the time he was finally ready to leave, he remembered the condom problem. Of course Georg was a good address, surely he had some, but Bill wasn't sure if asking him right now was such a good idea, plus he really didn't feel like explaining why he suddenly wanted condoms. Maybe he should buy some... but weren't they insanely expensive...? He once heard Georg saying something like that... but who knew what Georg meant with 'insanely expensive'; that could mean anything in Bill's head.

Since he couldn't think of a better option, he decided to go with Georg. Quietly he knocked on Georg's door, hoping the bassist from their band was still awake - apparently he wasn't. Carefully he opened the door and peeked inside, finding Georg fast asleep on his bed, with the computer still playing Band of Brothers - had he seriously spent all this time watching that...?

Protected by the sound from the computer, Bill crept into the room towards Georg's nightstand, and began going through his friend's stuff. Unfortunately Georg seemed to have a different place to keep his condoms, because they weren't in, or around, his nightstand; wonderful. Who didn't keep their condoms in their nightstand? Where else could he search for them? Closet? Desk? Sock drawer?

With a quiet huff, Bill decided to try the desk first, but as he got up he tripped over the many DVD cases scattered around Georg floor, and fell face first into Georg's bed; well at least it wasn't the floor. 

"Ungh...Bill...?! What the hell are you doing, man?" Georg grumbled, trying to sit up.

"Sorry," Bill mumbled sheepishly; "I was just looking for my sock that I thought I had left here earlier..." he lied, feeling like an idiot.

"Don't you have other socks?!" Georg growled impatiently; "And why are you all dressed up at...nearly midnight? Are you going somewhere?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing him from head to toe.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm meeting a friend from work...er... Andreas," he lied quickly, hoping Georg was too sleepy to notice it.

"And you needed your sock for that?" Georg asked incredulously.

"Yes," Bill insisted firmly; "But never mind, I'll use a different one. Goodnight!" he quickly exited the room before Georg managed to get too suspicious, and silently left the apartment. Initially he had wanted to ask Georg, but once it actually came to it, he was too chicken and just really hoped the hooker would have one.

 

Slowly, Bill drove down the Boulevard, nervously checking out all the men and women who worked the street that night; so far he hadn't spotted anything that he was interested in. There were various slow driving cars, whose occupants were probably searching for the same thing as him; occasionally one would stop to allow a man or woman in before driving off.

Warily, Bill locked the car doors, not wanting any surprise visits from any of the scary figures on the sidewalks, who waved and smiled at him as he drove by. 

None of the guys that he passed were at all what he was looking for, and he slowly began regretting it; maybe finding the right prostitute was just as hard as finding the right boyfriend. Even though it was just for meaningless sex, Bill still wanted it to be someone he found interesting, or at least remotely attractive, which wasn't at all the case with these guys; not that they weren't good looking, but they just weren't what he wanted.

At least not until Bill stopped at a red light on Wilshire cross. He had actually intended to turn around to go home, but then his sight suddenly fell on a man who was leaning against the pole of the traffic light, smirking into his car. The man didn't look like the other hustlers; he was a bit...older? Unlike the others who seemed to be more around Bill's age or younger, this man looked as if he were already in his late twenties or early thirties. Also his clothes were somewhat different; he didn't wear skimpy, cheap rags, but a more tasteful attire that actually covered most of his body. For a second Bill thought that maybe this man wasn't a hustler at all, but then what would he be doing here, standing on a street corner in the middle of the night, smirking at passersby?

No, Bill concluded, of course the man was looking for customers, it was the only thing that made any sense.

Thankfully there were no cars behind him, because the light had already turned green and he was still standing there in the middle of the street, gawking at the smirking man who had obviously noticed the change of the traffic light, and raised an expectant eyebrow at him.

Bill swallowed nervously, and slowly rolled down the window on the passenger side.

"Hi," he mumbled awkwardly while the man leaned down a little to look into the open window.

"Hey there," he smirked that playful grin that sent shivers dancing across Bill's skin.

"Um..." Bill fidgeted around, not really sure how to go about this; he didn't want to be rude, but he also didn't have a lot of money to squander on casual sex; "How much?"


	3. Chapter 3

Tom raised a confused eyebrow at the stunningly beautiful kid; what the hell was he talking about?

"How much for what?" he asked lightly, not wanting to chase the timid boy away; he couldn't even remember ever having seen such a pretty guy; the guy was hotter than most girls Tom had had, if not all of them - and that was saying something.

"N-nothing weird. Just... normal stuff," he mumbled, blushing slightly while his hands fidgeted around with the jewelry that decorated them.

Tom saw a few hookers sending him a dirty glare as they walked by, and realization hit him as to what the kid was talking about; he thought Tom was a hustler! He nearly burst out laughing, but managed to turn it into a sanguine smile instead; well this ought to be interesting.

"A hundred an hour," he set the lowest price possible, not wanting the kid to change his mind because of money which, judging by the look of his crappy car, he didn't have a lot of.

"Oh, o-ok," he stammered, nodding nervously. Tom had to bite back another laugh; this was almost too hilarious to be true.

"So um... c-can we go to a hotel or something...?" the guy stuttered again, looking around tensely.

"Anywhere you want," Tom grinned, wanting to open the car door, only to find it locked; seriously?

"Sorry," the boy apologized quickly, unlocking the door for him. Tom smiled to himself as he got in; what was a kid like that doing here, soliciting this kind of service?

"Just to clear things up — you are over 18, right?" Tom inquired suspiciously while he got into the car; the boy looked freakishly young, and as much as Tom enjoyed a cheap thrill, he really didn't want to get in trouble for screwing a minor.

The boy stared at him; "I can drive," he pointed out, gesturing around the car as if that would mean anything.

"Yeah, I began taking my dad's car for a joyride when I was 15, so that doesn't give me much. You got a license?" he asked with what he hoped was a patient, casual tone.

Obviously the kid had never done this before and didn't seem to think it weird at all that a hooker would ask for an ID because he began searching through his wallet nervously.

While the kid was busy searching for an ID, Tom typed a quick message to Nathan; 'Something else came up, sorry.' Nate would understand.

"Here," the boy mumbled anxiously, handing him his driver's license.

'Bill Kaulitz' Tom raised an eyebrow; the kid was German — just like himself, even though he'd lived in America most of his life. And he was 22 years old which was even more surprising; if he had said 16, Tom would have believed him easily.

"Nice to meet you Bill, I'm Tom," he said while handing him back the ID.

"Hello," the boy smiled nervously, shaking his hand; the kid's fingers were freezing and sweaty, showing off how nervous he was, and again making Tom wonder what the boy was doing here.

"Is there a hotel where we could...?" Bill trailed awkwardly.

"Yeah, not far from here," Tom pointed him in the right direction; he'd never actually been there because it was a rundown, sleazy piece of crap but he'd seen it and it looked like the kind of place the boy could afford.

They drove in silence while Bill stared ahead as if his life depended on it, and Tom had a hard time not laughing.

~*~

Bill was so nervous he thought he would throw up any second; what the hell was he doing here?! Would he really go through with this? With a perfect stranger?

Tom indicated him where the hotel was, and Bill parked in the small parking lot around the back. Warily he trailed after the man who led them to the reception that was occupied by a gruff-looking old man reading a newspaper.

"What'll it be, gents?" he asked, placing his paper aside while giving Bill a suspicious look.

Bill looked away in embarrassment; the man probably knew exactly what the situation was.

"Two hours," Tom requested pleasantly.

"Mhm," the man grunted, handing him some papers; "I'll be needing to see the boy's ID. Hotel policy," he added, pointing to a sign behind him that said 'No admission under 18'.

Quickly Bill fumbled around his wallet, searching for his ID again; gosh, this whole sex thing was much more complicated than he had first thought.

"Right," the man nodded, handing it back to him once he was satisfied; "That'll be $28," he said, turning back to Tom.

"Oh, no, he's the customer," Tom smirked at the older man who gave him a stunned look.

Bill felt himself blush and quickly looked away, searching for the money; could this possibly get any more humiliating?

"Room 483," the man handed him the key once he had paid, and pointed down the hall towards the room.

"Thanks," Bill mumbled awkwardly, stalking in the given direction with the hustler on his heels.

Contrary to Bill's earlier belief, getting more nervous was indeed possible, and by the time they finally reached the room, Bill was about to have a nervous breakdown.

Shakily he unlocked the door, letting them into the cheaply decorated room; this really wasn't the kind of place he had always wanted to have his first time at. Of course in his fantasy his first time happened in a giant bed covered in black, satin sheets in a beautiful room with an amazing view, where they would first drink expensive wine and eat Belgian chocolates... and of course it was with the love of his life and not a cheap hooker, but whatever. Life never went the way he fantasized.

~*~

Tom didn't miss the despondent look on the kid's face as they entered the room; did he not want this? He didn't make a very happy or eager impression on Tom.

"Bill," he tried slowly, knowing this was not at all the way these things usually went down; "Is everything alright?"

"Oh. Yes," he smiled that cute, shy smile again.

"Ok then," Tom nodded; the kid was paying for it after all, so this must be what he wanted; "What would you like?" he tried as empathetic as possible.

"About what?" Bill asked in confusion, and no matter how hard Tom tried, he couldn't keep himself from chuckling.

"Well..." he began patiently; "You're paying me to make your fantasies a reality, but since I don't know your fantasies, you will have to tell them to me," he smiled gently, trying to calm the nervous kid down a bit. Had he just gotten out of a bad relationship he was trying to forget?

"Oh... right. Fantasy..." he mumbled, blushing again; damn that kid was cute. "Um...H-how does this usually happen...?" he asked awkwardly.

Tom smiled again; "You're the customer — you tell me what you want, and I do it," 'wow', he thought to himself; this was definitely new to him. Usually he always did what he wanted and everyone else went along with it. Was he seriously selling himself to a random kid? For a hundred bucks? There was something very intriguing about this situation.

"Anything I want?" he asked dubiously.

"Unless it's something seriously weird, in which case we'd have to discuss that first. But why don't you just tell me what you want, and we'll move from there?" he tried reassuringly. What in hell's name could the boy possibly want that he was too awkward to say? The kid believed him to be a hooker, so whatever he wanted, most hookers had probably heard and done worse. He looked so shy and innocent... hopefully he wasn't one of those insane freaks who looked all cutesy but were completely sick.

"O-ok..." he mumbled again, looking all over the room just not at Tom who shrugged out of his jacket and removed the small bottle of lubricant he always carried with him for these kinds of situations. Well maybe not this kind exactly, but... for spontaneous sex.

"Um... I want you to pretend that you're in love with me, and do whatever it is that you would do if I were the love of your life," he mumbled so quietly Tom thought he had misheard him.

"What?" he asked in disbelief; well this was a rather unexpected turn of events.

"I-I can pay you more if you want," he stammered quickly, giving him an unsure look.

Tom blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation; here was a, literally unbelievably, sexy young guy who could get laid anytime, anywhere, with nearly anyone, paying for a 'boyfriend experience'? Was he trying to replace someone...?

"Alright. And don't worry, that doesn't have an extra price," he assured him with a smile while he placed the bottle of lube on the nightstand and hung his jacket over a chair; what the kid wanted was something thousands of men would gladly give to him for free, so he didn't want to charge the poor kid money he obviously didn't have, and Tom really didn't need.

"Oh... ok, thanks," he smiled faintly, still blushing a little and nervously eyeing the bottle.

"So... do you want me to have a specific name...?" Tom was trying to figure out if the kid wanted him to pretend to be some lost lover or something; why he cared was beyond him, but this boy intrigued him unlike anything he had known recently.

"No, Tom is good," he shook his head; "Just... be yourself...?" he stuttered awkwardly, nearly making Tom laugh again; ''Be yourself'? For real?'

"Ok, so... just to clear things up... You want me to pretend this is real. That you're the love of my life, and I'm... what, trying to woe you?" he chuckled quietly.

"Yes," Bill mumbled softly, staring at the floor.

Now that he thought about it, Tom had no idea how to do that; he'd never had the need to woe anyone before — people just wanted him no matter what he did - he'd never had to earn someone's love before. Not that he had ever wanted it... He'd never had a relationship, or anything that came close to one, nor had he ever really been in love before. For Tom, love was a fleeting dream in spring... When his lips were satisfied, the dream was over. He had no idea how to treat someone that he was in love with.

Bill gave him another shy glance, obviously expecting him to start with this twisted game. 'Great. Now what?'

~*~

Bill swallowed nervously; would he go for it? This hadn't really been his initial idea, but the whole... meaningless sex thing just wasn't something he wanted to do, so at least he wanted the guy to pretend that it meant something. Maybe he would be more... gentle that way? Bill didn't want rough sex, he wanted something romantic.

Slowly the man approached him, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek; it was an unusual touch for Bill even though he was used to being touched — he was generally very huggy and touchy with his friends, but this was completely different. Horrified, Bill noticed he was about to kiss him.

"Wait," he breathed nervously, causing the other man to pause patiently; "Um... no kissing, ok?" he asked awkwardly; the guy must think he was a total loon.

"Ok," he smiled gently, making Bill feel a little better; at least this guy was really nice.

Instead of his lips, Tom slowly moved down his neck, gently kissing from his ear to his collarbone; now that was definitely something new to Bill, and he felt goose bumps spreading across his entire body. Why the hell did that feel so indescribably awesome?

Bill closed his eyes, trying to ignore the horrible nagging that told him this was not what he wanted. He tried to concentrate on the amazing feeling that the hustler's tongue was causing, and soon managed to banish all other thoughts as he began losing himself in the warm sensation of this completely new experience. 

Very slowly, the man's hands began trailing up and down his back, caressing his shoulder blades while his tongue kept on lapping at his sensitive neck. Bill just stood there like a statue, not daring to move; he had the strange urge to touch the other man, but was too self-conscious to try so he just remained completely passive.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom groaned mentally at the dreadful situation; the boy was like a corpse. He was used to enthusiastic, fun lovers not ones that remained unmoving, so he had no idea how to handle the situation; all the years of countless one night stands were completely useless in this situation that was entirely different from anything he had ever encountered before.

It was obvious that the boy was nervous beyond belief, but since Tom wasn't sure why, it was difficult to make him feel more comfortable. He had never had to put so much effort into someone before... 'I never got paid for it either though,' he laughed mentally; not that the lousy $100 really made a difference, but it was the thought that counted.

Making sure not to move too fast, he slipped his hands underneath Bill's tight shirt that barely offered enough space for his hands, and began pushing it up. Immediately the boy tensed up, but after a few more moments of nuzzling around on his ear, he relaxed again and Tom proceeding to remove his shirt, revealing his stunningly slim body that was covered in various tattoos. Tom really liked tattoos; he also had a few but by far not that many. Bill's left side was covered by a large writing that Tom wasn't capable of reading right now, but decided to do so at a later point, and he had a small star on his right hip bone. Also his left arm had a tattoo, as well as his neck; 'Someone likes to express themselves...' he smiled mentally while kissing the tattoo on the kid's neck; was that some kind of logo...? Tom had never seen it before.

Slowly he guided Bill towards the bed, kicking his shoes off in the process. Once they reached the bed, the kid gave him another uncertain look while he slipped out of his shoes as well.

"If you change your mind, you only need to say so," Tom tried to ease the kid's nerves.

The boy nodded nervously, licking his lips that Tom was really tempted to kiss but knew he wasn't 'allowed to'. Damn, this situation was weird.

~*~

Once Bill had finally managed to remove his shoes, Tom stepped closer to him again and ran his hands down Bill's arms towards his hands, lacing their fingers together.

Maybe this whole thing wasn't as awkward and freaky as he had first thought; Tom actually managed to make him feel almost comfortable with those gentle gestures, and Bill dared to lift his gaze a bit to look into the older man's calm eyes. There was something soothing in them that encouraged him a bit and took away the regret he had felt a minute ago.

Very slowly, Tom's hands pulled Bill's up between them and settled them around his neck, all the while gently caressing his skin. Now Bill was having second thoughts about the kissing thing; this Tom guy was actually quite stunning, and Bill nearly forgot that the only reason he was being so tender was because he was paying him.

Without any warning, Tom suddenly lifted him up and wrapped Bill's legs around his waist; Bill gave a surprised shriek, holding on to Tom's neck while they slowly began falling towards the bed. Despite being really nervous, he had to laugh as they landed in a pile on the soft covers that smelled like cheap detergent; Tom's deep laughter was contagious.

The unusual weight that pressed him down into the mattress was almost pleasant, and he missed it instantly when Tom rolled to the side, pulling Bill to sit on top of him. 'Well that's beyond awkward,' Bill thought as he stared down at Tom who smiled up at him, capturing his hands again to draw them to his chest since Bill was far too self-conscious to actually initiate any touching.

This whole thing was processing very slowly, for which Bill was very grateful; he was really beginning to enjoy those casual touches that he had never known before.

Tom slowly sat up, causing Bill to slide a bit further down where he eventually came to rest on the man's lap while this one began kissing along his arm, all the way to his shoulder; Bill sighed shakily, getting goosebumps from the soft touch.

Very hesitantly, he placed his hands against Tom's chest, feeling the lean muscles under the wine red fabric of his shirt; it was strangely fascinating to touch. Unsure if this was alright, he gave Tom an unsure look but he just smiled warmly, unwinding his arms from behind Bill in order to pull the clothing article over his head and discarding it carelessly on the ground.

~*~

Tom nearly laughed as the boy gawked at him, apparently not aware of his stare; had this kid never seen a shirtless guy before or what? But damn, he was so cute.

Not wanting the boy to get discouraged, he pulled him closer again, guiding his hands along his body again since Bill was obviously too shy to do that himself, and Tom wanted him to know that it was alright. There was something very enticing about this situation; usually he couldn't care less of how much time he took with someone or if they were having as much fun as him - sure he tried to be considerate, but at the end of the day, who really cared about them. But with this kid it was different; he was so awkward and shy, so completely different from any person Tom had ever been with, and he had the strange desire to fulfill the kid's fantasies.

Of course the fact that Tom had never done anything close to this was also utterly intriguing and interesting.

Just as hesitantly as before and with another careful glance, the boy began to lightly trace his trembling, cold fingers across Tom's chest, looking completely enthralled. Slowly Tom lay back down, letting the kid explore his skin; this was so different from the quick, wild sex that Tom was used to. It was so... intimate; which was weird since they were still half dressed and all.

Tom found himself enthralled by the boy's curious, dark rimmed eyes that darted around nervously, obviously not being able to decide where to focus on. His movements were all so slow and hesitant, as if he were touching someone made of glass; usually Tom hated slow paces because he considered it a waste of time, but tonight it was different. It was alluring, innocent and yet utterly erotic to him; he was slowly beginning to get hard under the boy's firm ass that was sitting on his lap - Tom nearly laughed at the little self-control he suddenly had, though to be fair, the situation, not to mention the company, was very attractive; did that kid even know how good he looked...? And combined with his shy, clumsy behavior - Tom groaned mentally.

Eventually he reached up to touch Bill's face again, coming into a sitting position that earned him another eager stare from the kid; it's not like he wanted to rush him, but they only had two hours and at this pace they would still be here next week.

Gently he turned the boy to his side, lying him back down on the bed and continuing to nibble along his neck, slowly trailing lower to his chest, all the while caressing over that tattoo on his side that fascinated him.

Curiously he gave the kid's left nipple a sudden, gentle bite, causing him to nearly jump in surprise; Tom stifled a laughter - damn this guy was sensitive. It only took him a moment to recover though because soon he relaxed into Tom's ministrations, taking deep, shaky breaths that were obviously designed to help him calm down, though Tom had the impression it wasn't working too well.

It wasn't until a few minutes later, during which Tom nibbled and licked around Bill's upper body more extensively than he had ever done with another person in his life, that he suddenly felt the boy's freezing fingers on his shoulders, uncertainly beginning to caress him; was he finally getting more courageous? Tom smirked at himself and lifted his head a bit to look at his face; the boy's head was tilted back a bit with eyes closed and slips slightly parted, his brows furrowed a bit, and he was breathing quickly.

Maybe it was time for the next step. Slowly and paying attention to the emotions that crossed the boy's features, Tom let his hand wander further down Bill's side, past his hips to rest on his outer thigh; he didn't seem to mind at all so Tom lowered more of his weight on top of him while pushing his left leg up with a hand underneath his knee until Bill's knee was nearly drawn to his chest and Tom could caress his entire leg through the rough fabric of the tight jeans. Those really needed to go.

Obviously this time the boy noticed the change and opened his eyes nervously, stiffening a bit at the new position. Tom slid a bit farther up, trying to avoid grinding his erection against the boy's side, in order to- Oh right, he wasn't allowed to kiss him. Damn. That boy had such delicious lips.

So he settled for nibbling on his neck again until the kid returned to running his hands through Tom's hair; something he actually hated. Why did people always have to play with his hair? Just because it was sort of long didn't mean it was an invitation for people to fumble around with it. Oh well, whatever. Tom mentally shrugged while he lowered the guy's leg again, accidentally brushing over his obvious hard on; that couldn't possibly be comfortable in those tight clothes.

This actually caused Bill to jump a bit, slapping his leg against Tom shoulder in an attempt to close his legs; Tom nearly burst out laughing as he saw the boy's mortified, blushing face. Of course if he laughed at the poor guy it would only make it worse, so he quickly lowered his head to kiss his chest so Bill wouldn't see the amused grin on his face. Was he seriously embarrassed to be turned on...? In a situation like this? That guy was too cute for his own good.

~*~

Bill bit is tongue in embarrassment; this had to be the most humiliating situation he had ever been in, but he just couldn't help himself; what that guy did was beyond amazing. 'Well duh, it's his job,' Bill reminded himself stupidly, but it didn't matter, it was still totally awkward; he had never been aroused in anyone else's presence before.

From a rational point of view he knew he was being idiotic; this guy was a hooker - they were meant to have sex and obviously being turned on was a rather significant part of that, but somehow he still couldn't help but feel ashamed for it.

However a second later he forgot all about humiliation when Tom suddenly loosened his belt; now he was just nervous. He swallowed drily, looking down his body to see what the man was doing, but immediately looked away again when he saw his very visible erection through his clothes. 'Oh god,' Bill groaned mentally, wanting to be struck by lightning. On the other hand, he was really turned on and... Tom was so freaking hot... He had never been so aroused in his entire life and actually really wanted to go through with this right now. Sort of. He was still a bit caught up on the whole 'casual sex with a hooker' thing, though it was a bit clouded due to his lust.

He was painfully aware of Tom's warm, rough hand that slowly slid inside his jeans, gently stroking him through the thin fabric of his underwear. A choked groan escaped his throat together with any doubts he still had about the situation; this was entirely different than when he touched himself. It was so different he could barely believe this man wasn't doing anything different than what Bill usually did to himself.

Desperate to feel something, Bill clawed his hands into Tom's hair that was so much softer than his own. Again he got that horrible desire to kiss him but didn't dare. Now he cursed himself for having said that earlier.

By now he didn't care anymore about his embarrassment, and willingly lifted his hips so the hustler could easily remove his jeans and underwear in one swift motion, leaving him completely naked and exposed. Ok, now he did care about his embarrassment again.

Completely horrified, Bill immediately pulled his legs up and closed to avoid being seen in the dim light, but thankfully Tom was busy removing what was left of his own clothes and didn't stare at him. Unlike Bill who didn't manage to tear his eyes away from the man's, now fully naked, body. It was the first time he had actually seen someone naked in reality, and it was a million times more fascinating than in videos or on pictures.

~*~

Tom smirked at the boy's shameless stare; thank god he wasn't self-conscious about his body or this would have been seriously awkward. It was actually the first time someone stared so intently at him, and Tom took his time crawling over to the boy, actually really enjoying the lascivious attention.

Bill gave him an apprehensive look once they were head to head, and Tom gave him his warmest smile; "So how do we carry on from here?" he asked gently, twirling the condom in his fingers that he had removed from his jeans before discarding them.

The boy stared again with his huge eyes that darted back and forth between Tom's eyes and the condom in his hand.

Tom didn't really bottom - sure he had done it a few times but it had been a very long time ago during his college years, and not something he was particularly fond of because he preferred to be in control - but today was out of the ordinary anyway; "Does this go on you or me?"


	5. Chapter 5

Bill stared at the condom the hustler twirled between his fingers; he had no idea. He had avoided thinking about this part because it was really awkward; he was a bit scared of bottoming but topping seemed so complicated...

"Wh-what do you usually prefer?" he asked hesitantly.

~*~

Tom could barely believe his ears and laughed in surprise; was he seriously asking that? And what was a plausible hooker-answer to that...?

"I prefer anything you want me to prefer," he smiled satisfied; yeah, that sounded hookerish.

Bill laughed an embarrassed laugh that was probably the cutest thing Tom had ever heard; "And what do you really prefer?" he asked timidly, blushing a bit.

Tom hesitated a bit, debating what the wiser thing to tell him would be; technically seen he was actually alright with both at the moment and would rather do whatever the kid wanted, but he didn't seem to know, so...

"I prefer topping, but that doesn't mean I mind the other," he half lied; it was only right now that he didn't mind, for reasons he couldn't explain. Somehow he had the crazy urge to satisfy the shy boy; usually he couldn't care less what others wanted, but now... There was something about him.

The boy nodded; "That then," he mumbled with another blush.

"If you already want me to be honest for a second – I would much rather do whatever it is that you prefer doing. What are you more comfortable with?" Tom asked gently, afraid he was pushing the kid in an unwanted direction.

"I don't know," he said slowly, looking even more embarrassed than before.

Tom began feeling a bit uneasy, dropping his hand with the condom down on the bed; "Bill... you have done this before, right?" he asked carefully, well knowing it really wasn't any of his business, but if he hadn't, things needed to be handled a little more delicately.

~*~

Though he was about to admit he hadn't, he lied; "Yes, of course. Lots of times. I just don't really care," he said quickly, afraid that if he told the truth the man would somehow refuse to do this, or think he was stupid, or something else like that. He prayed that, despite him supposedly having done this before, Tom would be gentle with him; so far he had been very considerate so Bill hoped things would carry on like that.

~*~

Tom knew he was lying - the kid was a virgin. Of course he had suspected that the boy hadn't done this very often, but knowing he hadn't done it at all, changed things a bit.

Not knowing how to tell the kid that he knew he was lying, Tom just nodded with a smile, trying to come up with what to do next. He decided to continue with a bit of foreplay while he considered how to go about this; somehow it seemed so wrong to take both the kid's money and his virginity. The boy was way too cute to be paying for this.

For the first time in his life Tom actually felt guilty about something like this, even though he was being paid for it - also for the first time in his life. 'Damn, that's a lot of firsts for one night. What else is going to happen tonight?' he chuckled mentally, kissing down the boy's stomach, slowly approaching a more sensitive area that obviously caused him to be utterly nervous, judging by his shaky breathing. 

Should he suck the kid off? He didn't really like doing that much because, let's face it, it gave him absolutely nothing and was a total waste of his time. Not to mention disease transmitting and kinda disgusting, so he remained nuzzling around Bill's hip bone for a bit, letting his hand lazily caress down his stomach to his pelvic area; the boy was shuddering already before Tom even touched him, making Tom smirk.

Teasingly slow, he inches his fingers lower and lower, causing Bill's stomach muscles to contract in anticipation with each movement until he finally brushed against the boy's shaft and lightly curled his fingers around it, eliciting a breathless gasp from him. Apparently this was something he hadn't done very often either, if ever at all.

While he lightly ran his fingers over Bill's erection, making sure not to go too fast, the boy began to moan quietly; up until now he had remained rather quiet other than the occasional gasp and groan, but now he moaned with nearly every breath, and it made Tom's own erection perk up in interest; the boy had an unusually erotic voice, making Tom wonder what he might sound like when singing. Mentally he rolled his eyes at himself; it was just something he couldn't help, given the business he was in.

It wasn't as if Tom were a careless lover – not at all, he always tried to make things good for the other person, but only as long as it didn't mean any extra effort on his part. But tonight he found himself completely enthralled by this odd situation; it wasn't very often that he was together with someone inexperienced, and in the past few years hadn't happened at all because usually it was just a bunch of slutty girls or boys looking for fun, and they didn't require any special attention; but this – this was completely out of the ordinary.

Everyone knew that most people faked something during sex, simply because it made things more fun, but he got the impression that wasn't like that in this case; everything the boy did was real. Of course it was - who would fake it for a hooker?

The kid slowly became undone with each of Tom's teasing strokes, and the more he heard of him, the more eager Tom got to make him feel more. There was something extremely fascinating in the unusual power he had over the kid who responded so sensitively to each one of his movements, writhing and moaning in rhythm with Tom's caresses and strokes.

Maybe he should throw his principals out the window for one night and explore this mess of a boy a little more thoroughly – Tom grinned at himself; it had been a long time since he had felt so playful and experimental. But then again, it had also been a long time since anyone enticed him like this.

Curious to know what other exquisite sounds he managed to lure from Bill, he inched a bit further down, tentatively running his tongue over the tip of the kid's wet erection, immediately eliciting a surprised gasp and shiver from him.

Taking his time, he slowly caressed Bill's hard-on while lazily twirling his tongue around the tip, tasting the salty essence that was rather unfamiliar to him; even though he had sex with men very often, blowjobs just wasn't something he did a lot and probably wasn't very good at, but today he was whimsical enough to play around – it's not like the kid knew what a good blowjob was, so it didn't matter anyway. That, and he wasn't sure how to progress with this whole virgin thing; of course he was more than ready to take him right here and now, but he just wasn't sure if that would be such a pleasurable experience for the kid who seemed rather uptight and nervous.

~*~

Bill wanted to scream from the unfamiliar pleasure that surged through his body, letting him forget all ideas of love and romance; why had he bothered to save himself for someone who would never come, when the alternative was this?

And that even though Tom was barely touching him. Bill soon became eager for more, letting his hips roll with the impossibly slow movements from the other man; was he trying to kill him? Why the hell was he moving so slowly?!

Bill growled impatiently, so lost in his own pleasure that he wished the guy would just fuck him without so much fuss; he wanted to be closer to him, far closer than this could get them, and he wished the man would just take him right there. But of course that didn't happen because he continued in the same agonizingly pleasurable slow pace, only licking and stroking him.

Not being able to take it any longer, Bill reached down to rake his fingers through Tom's hair before impatiently pushing him down and burying his erection in the man's mouth. A surprised grunt let Bill know that perhaps that had been a bit uncalled for but... whatever, the guy was a hooker, he could take it.

~*~

Tom nearly gagged from the dick that was suddenly shoved down his throat without any warning, but managed to get over it rather quickly, trying to relax around the kid's throbbing member.

If he hadn't been so busy with the surprisingly difficult task of sucking the boy off, he would have laughed at the sudden change of behavior in him; earlier he had been too shy to even touch him and now he was practically raping his mouth.

There was nothing hotter for Tom than seeing someone lose control; it was something that very rarely happened with people, but this kid was completely out of it and Tom was glad they weren't in his apartment because his neighbors would have probably already called the police due to all the noise this guy was making.

Oddly enough, he wasn't bothered by it at all since the boy's voice was actually very melodic and sexy; he didn't know what it was, but there was something about it he found very erotic.

Of course if they carried on at this pace, Bill would be finished long before they even got close to actually having sex. Maybe it would be better that way... Well, not better for Tom, but better for Bill.

Tom gave himself a mental nod, having finally made up his mind; not only was this better for the kid, but also for Tom's conscience which felt rather guilty about charging him for something like this.

'He deserves a better first time,' Tom found himself rather surprised at his own thoughts; what did he care if the kid's first time was good or not...?

With a glance at the clock that told him they had less than half an hour left, Tom relaxed his mouth as much as possible, letting the boy slide in and out of him at his own pace which was rather fast and a bit too rough for Tom's fellatio abilities, but whatever; it was just a onetime thing anyway.

Bill moaned loudly, digging his nails into Tom's scalp which would be complaining about this during his next shower, and reminding Tom why he didn't enjoy giving blowjobs; sure it might be a bit fun to play around, but towards the end it was just a nuisance that gave him absolutely nothing but a bruised palate and throat.

Without any warning, the boy suddenly climaxed, nearly making Tom choke on it. No money in the world was worth this.

~*~

Bill let a strangled cry escape his lips as his orgasm rushed over him, reminding him again how much better this was than masturbating. The combination of Tom's gentle hands and his lascivious tongue created the most pleasurable experience of his life; this was worth all the money in the world.

Panting and gasping, he let his head loll to the side while his body trembled softly from the exhaustion of... lying there without really doing anything. If this was already so exhausting, Bill didn't even want to know how exhausting sex would be.

This wasn't actually at all the way he had wanted things to go tonight since he had planned on losing his virginity which... technically seen he still had, right? Did blowjobs count to the whole virginity deal...? They really should because they were awesome, Bill concluded incoherently while Tom lay down next to him.

For a second he had the ridiculous desire to crawl over to the other man and hug him, but then he remembered that that guy was not his lover but just a cheap hooker who wasn't being paid to cuddle. 

~*~

Unsure how things would carry on from here, Tom watched the kid slowly coming down. It was a rather odd situation, just lying there waiting for something to happen; usually he would already be dressed and out the door by this time, but he had to wait for... his money. Tom nearly laughed.

They only had about 15 minutes left in the room, and as much as he hated it, he had to hurry the kid along otherwise he'd have to pay another extra hour, which he probably couldn't afford anyway.

Not knowing what to do or say, he slowly got up to fetch his clothes while the boy watched him from the bed with glazed, almost sad, eyes.

"We should get going or you'll have to pay an extra hour," Tom tried to sound as gentle as possible, even though he knew how that sounded.

The boy just nodded while he sat up, his messy, black-blond hair falling all over the place, and awkwardly looked around for his clothes.

Tom handed him whatever was within his reach, averting his gaze to give the wobbly, insanely awkward kid some privacy while he dressed. How could someone with such a sexy body be so self-conscious...?

When Tom was finally done, he snuck a peek at the boy who was still half naked, and checked out his perfect ass that reminded Tom that tonight had been, in fact, a total waste for him; he was insanely hot and would give anything to throw the kid back on the bed and fuck him senseless... Maybe he should just tell him the truth and...

"Thanks," Bill suddenly mumbled, pulling Tom from his thoughts.

He was holding a $100 bill and smiling that insanely cute smile that was decorated with a subtle blush. 'Alright... so maybe that had been worth the blowjob after all,' Tom smiled faintly while he took the money from him. It was almost a shame to let him go; this was one kid he would gladly have again. Not that he had gotten him to begin with, but whatever.

"It's just 50," Tom smiled, searching through his wallet to give the kid his change; there was no way he could charge him so much for nothing but a blowjob. Which had actually been pretty bad for Tom, but whatever.

"A-are you sure? Because that was two hours and stuff..." Bill stammered, blushing even more.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," he smiled, handing him a 50; it didn't really make a difference to him anyway.

"Oh... ok, thanks," he smiled hesitantly before they exited the room in total silence and headed back down to the reception where Bill gave the man the key, and then Tom followed him outside.

"Should I drop you off somewhere?" Bill asked hesitantly.

"It's fine, I can walk," Tom assured him; where was the kid supposed to drop him off, at his Audi R8? Probably not a good idea. Plus he wasn't parked too far away. 

"Are you sure?" he asked dubiously.

"Absolutely," Tom nodded with a smile.

"Ok... well... um, thanks then," Bill mumbled again, giving him another shy look.

"Any time," Tom grinned, turning to leave.

"A-any time I want?" the boy stuttered, making him turn around again with a raised eyebrow.

"Um I mean..." Bill fidgeted around nervously, almost making Tom laugh; "Well... could I... call you at some point when I..."

Tom bit on his tongue to stop himself from bursting out laughing; did he seriously want to do this again? Even though he hadn't gotten what he actually wanted?

"Yeah, sure," he brought out as neutrally as possible; would he seriously give his private number to a boy who believed him to be a hooker...?

Bill searched for his phone in his jacket and then handed it to him; it was an ancient Nokia that had probably been alive during the Ming Dynasty. Tom typed in his number and then handed it back to the boy, not knowing what name he should save it under – Tom the hooker just wasn't very pleasing to him. Even though that was probably what the kid would save him under. Oh well.

"Thank you," Bill smiled; "I'll call you... at some point when I have...um..." he trailed off awkwardly.

"Money?" Tom chuckled mischievously.

"Yeah," Bill laughed nervously, blushing again.

"I'll see you then," Tom smiled, walking towards the exit of the parking lot.

"Yeah... see you then," he heard the kid mumbling quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

With a miserable groan, Bill landed face down on his bed, wailing his frustration and exhaustion into his pillows. He couldn't believe he had actually done that; he had actually hired a prostitute. What the hell was wrong with him?

With another moan he looked at his alarm that indicated nearly 4am. Should he take a shower...? He felt so gross. Not because of Tom, no, definitely not because of that, but because of the sleazy hotel he had been in; god knows what had already happened in that bed. 'Ew'  
But soon he realized he was way too lazy to actually shower, and just stripped down to his underwear and dropped back down on the bed, crawling under the covers after switching off the light.

However, no matter how exhausted he was, he couldn't find enough peace to actually sleep. His mind kept spinning around that damned, cocky hustler; was he developing a crush on him? Seriously? On a hooker? That was so typical. 'Nice going, Bill.'

 

"Good morning," Gustav greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

"Morning," Bill grumbled hoarsely, dropping down in one of the chairs in their small kitchen.

"Want some omelette?" Gus asked, pointing at the pan he was watching over; "I made a bit too much anyway."

"Oh, sure, thanks," Bill nodded, grateful he didn't have to make an elaborate breakfast; he wasn't feeling very active today. Various random muscles ached, and he really just wanted to crawl back into bed. Thank god he didn't have to work today. Seriously, how did people have sex and then work the next day – that was crazy. And that even though he hadn't actually had sex... No, he still hadn't done it. A blowjob didn't really count as losing your virginity, right? Or did it...? What counted as sex and what was... something else? Who made those rules anyway?

"Are you ok? You look kinda off," Gustav noticed with a worried glance while he fetched two plates for them.

"I'm just a bit tired," Bill sighed, resting his head on the table while keeping one eye open to peek at his friend.

Gustav chuckled; "Did you go out last night?"

"No. What? No. What are you talking about? Of course not. Why would I go out? No I didn't. Where would I go anyway?" Bill stumbled over his own words, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks.

"...Riiiight..." Gustav raised an amused eyebrow; "One more 'No' and I'll be certain you did something illegal last night," he laughed.

"No I didn't!" Bill almost shrieked, sitting up while trying to force the blush from his face; it was true, he hadn't actually done anything illegal, but... it was still somewhat... questionable.

"You don't have to get all defensive," Gustav grinned.

"I'm not getting defensive!" Bill said loudly.

"Who's getting defensive about what?" Georg suddenly appeared in the kitchen door, looking like a hobo; he hadn't combed his long hair or shaved in various days, and today it was really beginning to look gross.

"You look like crap," Bill said quickly, trying to change the subject.

"Thanks, you too," Georg sighed, sitting down next to him; "How were things with Andreas?"

"What?" Bill asked confused.

"Who's Andreas?" Gustav asked curiously, getting another plate for Georg and splitting the omelette for the three of them.

"Bill's coworker... the one you wanted to meet last night? Or did you go somewhere else?" Georg asked suspiciously, giving him a sideways smirk.

Gustav gave a naughty cackle; "I knew it."

Bill had totally forgotten about his sock encounter with Georg last night; 'Damnit.'

"So, Billy... Tell us the dirty details," Gustav grinned as he placed the plates on the table; it was probably too little for the three of them and they would have to eat something else later, but Gustav was all for sharing.

"What?! No! It's not like that!" Bill defended immediately, overcome by a new wave of embarrassment.

"Oh come on, tell us about him," Georg laughed, cutting bread for them.

Bill wanted to kick himself; what was he going to do now? 'The same thing every other self-respecting person would do in a situation like this: lie,' he reasoned with himself.

"There's not much to tell... He's our new dishwasher, and we just had dinner," Bill shrugged, trying to keep the blush from his face.

"Really?" Georg asked innocently before smirking; "Dinner. At 1 am?"

Gustav broke into fit of laughter while Bill blushed; "Whatever! Nothing happened!" Bill said again.

"Don't be such a prude," Georg grinned; "We always tell you about our sexual encounters."

"No you don't. When was the last time any of you ever told me anything?" Bill asked pointedly; Georg didn't really talk much about his sex life because he'd been in a relation for so long they had talked about everything a million times years ago anyway, and Gustav... What about Gustav?

"If there were anything to tell you, we would," Georg nodded firmly.

"Yeah right," Bill snorted; "The last time Gusti talked about his sex life was, like... what? 10 years ago?"

Georg burst out laughed and Gustav gave him a scandalized look; "That was not ten years ago! Ten years ago I was 13, man!" he huffed, crossing his arms with an affronted look.

"Wasn't that the time you had sex with that old woman?" Bill pointed out, causing Georg to laugh even harder.

"She wasn't an old woman, dude, she was 26, and I wasn't 13, I was 15," Gustav sent him a dry look.

"13, 15, whatever. She was waaaay older than you," Bill shook his head.

"Yeah and she was smokin'!" Georg grinned.

"Yeah, and she was 11 years older than you. That's totally gross," Bill pulled a face while eyeing his fork; it only took a second for his thoughts to return to Tom again. How old was he...? He must have been in his early thirties... Possibly more than 11 years older than him.

"Whatever. So what about Andreas?" Gustav rolled his eyes, munching moodily on his omelette.

"That's not fair! You haven't told us anything about the past 8 years! You can't expect me to suddenly tell you all the dirty details," Bill pointed out with a grin, really trying to move back to Gustav and away from himself.

"He's got a point Gusti, you never tell us anything about all your devious sexual rendezvous," Georg teased.

"Because they're none of your business!" Gustav suddenly snapped, getting up and storming out of the kitchen.

Both Georg and Bill blinked after him before exchanging a weird look; "What did I say?" Georg asked confused.

Bill shrugged, having no clue what had suddenly gotten into their friend.

"Whatever. Think he'll notice if I eat his omelette?" Geo grinned, snatching Gustav's plate.

"Probably," Bill chuckled, not wanting to be around when Gustav came back; everyone knew he could work up quite a tempter.

The rest of Bill's day passed very quietly, with no bigger events than a much needed shower and convincing Georg to join the living again.   
Even though both Bill and Gustav knew how torn up Georg was, they did their best to avoid any subjects that might be touchy, and tried to pretend everything was normal, since that was apparently what Georg wanted.

It was already late in the afternoon by the time they finally managed to drag Georg down to the old garage they had rented where they could have their little band sessions. They planned on recording an album at a small studio downtown, and really needed to practice because their recording date was already in two weeks. And they needed to come up with a name, soon.

Of course things didn't go all that smoothly because both Bill and Georg were a bit distracted, for different reasons, and Gustav was getting even more impatient; he seemed to be only one who could really keep up with their song.   
Bill was worst of all, having to sing and play the guitar; they had actually searched for a guitar player for quite some time, but hadn't been able to find one that really fit into their group, so the job had fallen back on Bill who had learned to play already when he was a kid, though initially he thought it would be too difficult to do both. On most days it went well, but today he couldn't really concentrate on anything.

"Come on, Bill. Recording is in two weeks! We should have this by now," Gustav grumbled darkly; he'd been slightly touchy since today at breakfast, and Bill was quite certain it wasn't only due to the stolen omelette.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm really tired," Bill sighed, lowering the guitar a bit.

"Maybe if you hadn't been out screwing around with Andreas all night you'd play a bit better," Gustav snapped in annoyance.

Bill gave Georg a slightly shocked look, but he just rolled his eyes; "It's probably just his time of the month again," he whispered with a grin.

"Zip it G," Gustav snarled, obviously having overheard despite the whisper.

"Ok, ok," Bill interrupted before Georg could get angry as well; "Let's just call it a day, alright? We can practice tomorrow after class."

"Whatever," Gustav rolled his eyes, leaving the garage.

"Well that was a total success!" Georg grinned and Bill gave him a dry look.

"Let's just clean up and go home," he sighed heavily, putting his guitar away; the following two weeks would be pretty tough. And all he could think about was that hustler. Damn him for being so awesome.

 

~*~

"No," Tom shook his head, turning around to walk away.

"Wait a minute, Tom!" David called, running after him; "You only heard 20 seconds!"

"I don't need to hear more. They suck. Kick them out," Tom shrugged, walking back to his office.

David groaned, returning to the music room to get rid of the terrible band he had just heard. Tom had the feeling that bands got gradually worse with every passing year; there were just too many of them and finding a good one was nearly impossible. Everyone wanted to be famous these days. Annoying.

With a sigh, he sat back down at his desk, mourning the 5 minutes he would never get back. However, his annoyance soon melted away as he let his thoughts wander back to last night's conquest. Not a lot of time had gone by today, or yesterday, during which he hadn't thought about it – it was crazy – he couldn't stop thinking about that awkward kid. Never before had he been so captivated by someone, least of all someone so... not rich and famous. Due to his job, he was used to celebrities running around him almost all day, so usually 'normal' people bored him after a few short hours. It wasn't as if celebrities were that captivating anymore either though, fame just wasn't what it used to be; the more celebrities he met, the less impressed he was by them because at the end of the day, they were just normal people too.

Not that Bill could be considered normal, of course. He stuck out like a pink poodle in a large crowd, but it wasn't just his exotic appearance with the long lashes and coal rimmed eyes; it was also his enchanting behavior that left Tom infatuated and thrilled, and with the odd desire to see the strange boy again.

Absently he twirled his phone in his fingers, wondering if he would ever call him again, until he realized how ridiculous he was and stuffed the phone back into his pocket, refusing to let something as silly as this intrigue him so much.

'But he was so weird... What was someone like that doing there?' he asked himself for the millionth time. And why did he even care? Was he really so bored that he yearned for something out of the ordinary so much? He knew a million people, but somehow Bill was different; what was it about him that set him apart from the rest of the world...?

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts, and he hastily removed it from his pocket, not bothering to check who the caller was.

"Hello?" he answered hurriedly, immediately wanting to bite his own tongue for being so eager.

"Where were you last night, man?" a familiar voice asked, causing a surprisingly disappointed feeling in Tom; 'The hell...?'

"Business," Tom answered the first thing that came to his mind; it was sort of true... He had been earning money, technically seen. Very little and for a rather questionable job, but whatever.

"Alright alright," Nathan brushed it off in his casual way; "So when do we meet?"

"Hold on a minute," Tom flipped through his calendar, searching for the following weekend; he couldn't remember having any plans for Saturday evening, but he wanted to check just to make sure.

"Next Saturday's good," he nodded to himself, writing down Nate's name in the calendar to make sure he didn't arrange something else.

"Whaat?" Nate whined on the other side of the line; "It's only Monday today! That's like... 5 days," he complained loudly.

"Yeah, well unlike you, I have a job and a few responsibilities that I need to look after," Tom chuckled while Nate blew a raspberry to voice his thoughts on the matter.

"Whatever!" Nathan huffed; "Call me on Saturday, and you better not stand me up again! I hope she/he was worth it," he added naughtily.

"Oh, he was," Tom chuckled quietly, his thoughts being drawn back to those beautiful eyes and shy smile again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, to anyone wondering, that was an avenue Q quote... sorry, but it was just really fitting xDDD


	7. Chapter 7

"Bill! You almost late! You shift already starting so you get butt into kitchen now!" Li Jing scolded him as he hurried into the kitchen through the back door; he wasn't actually late, he was exactly on time, but obviously his stressed boss wanted him to be there a few minutes before his shift started.

"Hey man," Andreas greeted cheerfully and Bill sent him a polite smile; he really didn't want to get too well acquainted with the bleached kid because he was afraid he might get the wrong idea.

While Bill prepared one order after another of Chinese food, he was debating whether he should go to that shoe sale or not; he was in dire need of new shoes, because... well, they were shoes, but... if he spent his entire money on shoes now... he would have no money for other things. Like prostitutes. What was worth more, a few new pairs of shoes or a night with Tom?  
'How is that even a debate...?' Bill thought drily; 'Oh my god, I'm turning into a sex addict!' he concluded horrified while he poured some kung pao chicken into a bowl; 'I should be spending my money on shoes, not hookers! What have I become?!' His entire week had been a nightmare; he still hadn't been able to stop thinking about Tom, and he seemed to be only thing lately that motivated him to work on their music... Not to mention Georg was totally down and that was affecting their music as well... And for some unknown reason, Gusti had mood swings like a pregnant cow, which really didn't help either. Everything was a disaster right now.

"Bill! You're burning the food!" Liu Jie pulled the pan from the stove and slapped his arm; "Earth to Bill, anyone home?" he chuckled.

"Sorry," Bill apologized stupidly; "I didn't get a lot of sleep."

"You've been really distracted this week – is everything alright?" Liu Jie asked a bit concerned; Bill and the other cook weren't actually good friends and only chatted about casual, meaningless things, so Bill really didn't want to confide his problems in him. Not that he would ever confide those problems to anyone else either, but least of all a coworker.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. Just stressed out with college and stuff. You know how it is," Bill dismissed it with a bright smile; "... I'd kill for a cigarette break though," he added with a laugh.

"I believe you," Liu Jie chuckled; "Take it easy," he smiled before returning to his side of the kitchen.

Bill just nodded absently, lost in thought again; he'd only met up with that hustler once and yet he couldn't stop thinking about him. Had he seriously developed a crush on him?   
It was probably because he didn't get out enough... Maybe he should find a boyfriend, or at least someone he didn't have to pay for sex. It would be so much cheaper... and less shady.

It wasn't until various hours later that Bill finally hung up his apron, finally ready to go home. He'd had a long day at college, and now the late shift at the Koi, so he was pretty much ready to pass out, like most of these evenings. He hadn't been lying earlier when he'd said that college was stressing him, though it was more the whole idea rather than the subjects because he wasn't actually interested in those; he just had to pretend to be so his parents would carry on supporting his music career which was headed nowhere. And that was another factor that was killing him; they were supposed to be recording a few songs in about a week, but they weren't ready for it, and didn't even have a name for the album yet. Not that it could be called an album since it had far too few songs still, but they were working on that.   
Technically seen they had quite a few songs, but Bill still wasn't fully satisfied with them so they wouldn't be recording those yet; there was something missing in them, though he wasn't sure what.

Once he finally managed to leave the kitchen in which Andreas was still cleaning, he lit up a cigarette and leaned against his air, trying to ease up some of the tension that had been killing him all day. This whole thing of trying to quit smoking really wasn't working for him; maybe he should give it up. The trying, not the smoking.

"Hey Bill," Andreas interrupted his peaceful moment just a minute later; "You got plans tonight?" he asked cheerfully.

"No," Bill replied dully before realizing what he'd done.

"Wanna go out for a quick drink before bed? It's only midnight and tomorrow we both got the afternoon shift," Andreas smiled suggestively.

Bill groaned internally, cursing himself for answering without thinking. Then he thought back at his earlier thoughts about maybe finding someone whom he didn't have to pay... but it was Andreas. Someone he worked with and didn't really like even though he was quite alright looking; it wasn't the looks that bothered him, it was something about his behavior. He was nice and all, but he was just so... not what Bill found attractive. Maybe he was too easy. 'Still harder to get than a hooker,' he reminded himself drily before realizing that Tom was a lot harder to get because Bill was broke.

"Sure, why not," he finally shrugged; maybe once he got to know him he would like him more; Andreas seemed like a really nice guy sometimes. When he wasn't hitting on him shamelessly.

"Great!" Andreas grinned, apparently really surprised that he didn't get turned down; "I know this place just around the corner so we can walk there."

Bill knew the bar he was talking about – he sometimes drove past there, but he'd never been in it; "Sure, let's go," he agreed.

They walked the short distance between the Koi and the bar while Andreas babbled about how crappy his job was; Bill just nodded in agreement, telling him about all the other dishwashers they had had recently.

Once at the bar, Bill ordered a coconut kiss and Andreas some beer; Bill preferred fruity cocktails.  
All in all, Andreas turned out to be a pretty funny guy that Bill actually felt quite comfortable with. He was easy to talk to and wasn't actually hitting on him so obviously now that they were actually talking like normal people; maybe he wasn't as stupid and childish as Bill had first thought him to be.

"So this band of yours – tell me about it," Andreas encouraged him; Bill had told him that he wasn't interested in college at all but really just wanted to make music.

"Well... it's just me and my two roommates. We started a few years ago, but so far we haven't really gotten anywhere yet... We actually all moved to L.A. because, well you know... music industry and all that but... ugh," Bill finished lamely.

"Becoming famous is a lot harder than anticipated?" Andreas smiled sympathetically.

"Yes!" Bill groaned miserably, laying his face on the table that was probably not very clean; it smelled weird but he didn't care at this point.

"You should let me listen to some of your songs some time. I have an uncle, David, who works for Trümper Records... If he likes your stuff, maybe he'll pass it on to his boss – he's always looking for new stuff," Andreas suggested.

"Oh my god! Really?!" Bill asked in total excitement, immediately sitting back up; "You really think he would?"

"I don't know, he says that Mr. Trümper is a total ass – you know, hardcore businessman and all, but if he thinks your songs are good he'll pass them on to him anyway. If you give me your CD I'll let him listen to it," Andreas offered.

"That would be so awesome!" Bill bounced up and down in his chair; "Except...we don't really have a CD yet," he added crestfallen; "We're working on it. We're going to start recording at one of those crappy amateur studios next week."

"Oh alright, well there's no hurry," Andreas grinned; "What's your band called?"

"Tokio Hotel," Bill said slowly; it wasn't very often that someone was actually interested in his music. He really liked Andreas now.

"Tokio Hotel?" Andreas raised a curious eyebrow; "Why? I mean I think it's cool, just kinda special. How'd you come up with it?"

"Oh... I don't know. We all really love to travel, and Tokyo seems like a really cool place that we'd all like to visit some time. And it's a cooler than 'Malibu Motel'," Bill laughed sheepishly.

Andreas also laughed; "Yeah, it's definitely better."

They carried on chatting about music, travels, and a bunch of random things until well past 3 am, after which they slowly stalked back to the Koi.

"Well that was fun," Andreas nodded once they arrived at the parking lot.

"I'm kinda drunk," Bill mumbled; "I don't know if I should drive right now. I drank too much even though it was just like... How much did I drink? 3 cocktails?"

"I don't know, something like that," Andreas chuckled; "We could just call a cab or something," he suggested, looking around the streets for one, but there was none in sight.

"Yeah, cab," Bill agreed with a nod, heading back out of the parking lot towards the street.

"If we can get one. Saturday nights are crap for cabs," Andreas sighed.

"Really?" Bill asked absently, also looking around for one.

"Yeah, don't you ever go out?" Andreas raised an eyebrow.

"Not so much, no..." Bill admitted lamely.

"You should. We should go out more! There's a lot of cool places I can show you," Andreas grinned cheerfully just as a cab drove by; "Hey wait!" both boys yelled, running down the street after the cab which stopped after a few feet.

"So... do we go to your place or mine?" Andreas asked slyly as they got into the cab.

It took a second for Bill's slightly drunken mind to understand what he meant; "Oh, um..." If he wanted to lose it, this was his chance. But what about Tom? 'Tom is a hooker, you idiot!' he reminded himself.

"I'm just kidding!" Andreas laughed, nudging him with his shoulder and telling the cab driver his address to drop him off first.

"Oh!" Bill laughed awkwardly, nodded in relief; Andreas was really weird sometimes.

After Andreas paid his share of the cab, he turned back to him with a grin; "I'll see you at work tomorrow afternoon then?"

"Yeah," Bill nodded; "Tomorrow."

"Good night then!" Andreas waved as he walked up to his apartment building and the cab drove off with a very pensive and emotional Bill. Finding out that Andreas' uncle worked for Trümper Records was, of course, absolutely amazing and Bill couldn't wait to finally record that CD so he could give it to him; this might be their big break. But that left him with the problem that he had writers block and over 10 unfinished songs they'd been working on for months without any results.

It wasn't as if he was lacking ideas, not at all, he had them – tons of them, but he was lacking the inspiration to bring turn them into actual good songs. Their songs were missing something essential, but he didn't know what or how to obtain it; they reminded him of a black and white photograph, and he wanted one in color. But how did one turn a black and white song into something more... colorful?

The drive from Andreas' to his place wasn't long, and soon enough he dragged himself up the stairs and into his room, still really excited, nervous and scared all at once. He had half a mind of waking Gustav and Georg to tell them about Andreas' uncle, but decided against it; it was probably best to wait and see before giving his friends false hope. After all, Andreas had said that Mr. Trümper was hard to convince, but then again that was to be expected from a record company owner... Those people were mostly interested in money and everything else was second - which was something that Bill really didn't agree on because he just wanted to write and sing, but of course he knew reality mostly played around money and if he wasn't able to make that, no company would ever give him a contract.   
So now all they had to do was tape a few awesome songs, and somehow convince a corporate shark to accept them... 'I'm gonna die,' Bill thought with a groan as he landed on his bed; even though he'd been waiting for such a chance his whole life, now that it was actually here, he was super nervous. And the lack of inspiration to finish their songs really wasn't helping his nerves.

He needed something to inspire him... Of course that only brought his thoughts back to that certain person he had met a week ago. A week that seemed so eternally long... It was Saturday evening – should he call him...? What if he was currently... working? 'Then he wouldn't pick up his phone,' he reasoned with himself. Yes... Maybe that could help him with his writers block. Or maybe not... Either way, he would call him and see if he had time to... do something.


	8. Chapter 8

Tom sighed, rolling over to his side and checking his watch; it was nearly 9am and the sun shone in through the thin curtains. Lazily he looked around the messed up room that looked as if a bomb had gone off in it. The furniture lay scattered everywhere, curtains had been pulled from their rails, lamps were broken and clothes covered the entire floor. For a moment he really pitied the maids who had to clean this place.

With a groggy groan, Tom freed himself from the two girls that clung to him like an octopus, and crawled towards the edge of the giant bed that hosted various people he had never seen before. Somewhere on the upside-down couch he spotted Nathan, sprawled out like a dead cat, his limbs sticking out in random directions; it looked very uncomfortable but Nathan seemed to be sleeping profoundly anyway.

Just like the bed, the room contained a few strangers that Tom couldn't identify, but carelessly stepped over while he searched for his clothes. His head was throbbing and he could only remember half of the events from last night; it had been quite a while since he'd drank so much, and judging by the white, powdery remains on the glass coffee table, alcohol wasn't the only poison in his body right now.

Parties like these had accompanied him through his entire college life, and even various years after, though they had become rather scarce lately, and now he knew why. He felt like crap, and they weren't half as satisfying as they used to be. A few years ago parties like these were what he lived for, but somehow it just didn't give him enough anymore; was he getting old...?

The mere thought made Tom growl darkly; it's not like he was that old, but he felt as if he were hitting a midlife crisis anyway, and the fact that wild nights couldn't satisfy him anymore, bothered him. He wanted to be able to party endlessly and have nothing on his mind – no unfulfilled desires or wishes. Unfortunately he had no idea what those desires and wishes were, or how to satisfy them. Maybe he was just naturally insatiable.

It took him nearly 10 minutes to distinguish which clothes were his, but once he thought he had found most of his things, he got dressed, stealing someone else's sock because he only managed to find one of his own, and then quietly exited the hotel suite, not bothering to wake Nathan; he could find his own way home. At this point he was just cranky, tired and his head hurt, so he wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep for at least 12 hours straight.

Wobbly, he stalked to his car, not certain he was in any condition to drive right now; perhaps he should take a cab, or call David.   
Once he managed to unlock his car, he dropped into the driver's seat, feeling like a sack of sand, before he managed to get enough strength to search for his phone in the glove compartment; he would just call David.

Just like every time he was away from his phone for a few hours, there were countless missed calls and messages that he really couldn't care for right now, so he just scrolled down to David's number, hoping he was somewhere close by.

"Hello?" David's voice echoed loudly through the phone, making him cringe with the feeling that his head was about to explode.

"Pick me up," Tom groaned, covering his eyes with his hand to shield them from the merciless morning sun.

"What? Where?" David asked.

"God, stop yelling," Tom groaned.

"I'm not yelling... Where are you?" David sighed.

"I don't know..." Tom looked around, not having paid attention which hotel he'd been in; "At the Ritz," he mumbled and hung up, not bothering to hear David's jarring reply.

With a deep sigh, he lowered the seat so he'd be in a more comfortable position while he waited for David to arrive, and began sorting through his calls, most of which he wasn't interested in, and a few he made a mental note to return.

And then there it was; an unknown number that had left a voicemail. Suddenly he felt wide awake and sat up while he waited for his phone to call his mailbox. He tried to ignore the excitement that spread like wildfire and the image of those beautiful, coal rimmed eyes that had haunted his fantasies throughout last night.

Impatiently he waited for the mailbox to announce the right message, and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he heard the shy, sexy voice in the message; "Hi. I was wondering if you had time to meet up again? Well um... call me back if you have time or something?"

Tom grinned, about to hang up to call him back when the message suddenly continued; "Oh um, it's Bill, by the way... We met last week? We went to that... motel... thing? You probably don't remember... Um... C-call me maybe? Thank you."

By the time Bill finished his rant, Tom was sniggering quietly, his mood suddenly completely lifted. He couldn't believe the boy had actually called him, and only one week later, no less. And why the hell was he so excited about this...? It was just some random guy who believed him to be a hooker. Some random, unbelievably sexy, shy, adorable and enchanting guy... 'Whatever. The only reason he's so interesting is because he's a 21 year old, hot virgin in L.A.' Tom assured himself; 'Once I have him, there won't be anything special about him anymore, so it really doesn't matter. It's just sex.'  
But even with that thought in mind, he immediately saved Bill's number and called him back, trying to blame the drugs in his body for making him feel so thrilled.

It only rang once before the enticing voice with the German accent answered on the other end; "Hello?" Bill sounded anxious and nearly breathless, causing Tom to almost laugh again.

"Hey. It's Tom. You called me?" he replied as calmly as possible.

~*~

Of course Bill knew that it was Tom, having been checking his phone every few minutes to see if he had missed a call from him.

"H-hi!" he stuttered stupidly, cursing himself for not being to talk normally; "It's Bill. I mean yeah...I already said that in the voicemail which you probably heard... um whatever. Yeah, it's Bill. We met last week? I know also said that already... But yeah. Um..." Bill wanted to kick himself.

~*~

Tom bit down on his tongue to stop himself from bursting out with laughter and tried to steady his voice before replying; "Bill..." he said slowly, as if trying to remember; there was no way he wanted the kid to know that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about him all week; "Oh yeah, I think I remember. You drive a silver BMW, right?" he asked casually.

~*~

Bill felt a stabbing sadness in his chest; obviously Tom had no idea who he was. 'Well what are you expecting – he's a hustler and has sex with thousands of people - he can't remember all of them.'

"Oh... no. Um... we went to that motel and I asked you to... pretend that..." Bill trailed off, feeling completely miserable. Being forgotten even by someone he paid was just sad. Especially because he hadn't been able to stop thinking about him, and a little part of Bill's foolish brain had thought that maybe... 'That maybe what? That maybe he'd be into you? Ugh! Bill! He just did that because he was being paid for it!' he told himself for the millionth time.

~*~

Tom was stunned at the kid's sudden crestfallen voice; was he... hurt? At not being remembered by a hooker? What was wrong with that kid...? Who got hurt that easily by something as ridiculous as that...? Suddenly he felt totally guilty for not just having admitted he knew who it was.

"Oh, Bill! Yeah, of course. Sorry. I remember. Saturday midnight, Wilshire cross," he added quickly, having the ridiculous desire to prove to the boy that he knew who he was.

"Yeah," Bill mumbled quietly, his earlier excitement completely gone; Tom felt as if he had just kicked a puppy.

"You wanted to meet up this weekend?" Tom quickly continued, wanting him to be... not so sad anymore. 'The hell is wrong with me...?!'

"Oh. Yeah. It was actually yesterday... I can't today. But maybe I'll call you next weekend? Take care," Bill said in the same quiet voice as before, and before Tom managed to respond, he had hung up.

Tom wanted to scream, but instead he just stared at the phone in disbelief. What the hell had just happened? Usually if he pretended not to remember people he slept with - not that he had to pretend that a lot since usually he forgot them anyway - they got more thrilled and really wanted to get together with him; people were into being turned down and forgotten because a rejection just made them want the rejecting person even more, everyone knew that, so what the hell had just happened here?   
Tom had years of experience with this sort of thing, and knew that if he wanted someone, all he had to do was turn them down and they would be all over him, so why had it not worked here? Not that in this case it should really matter because he was a hooker here, but... that was still really weird.

Had the boy seriously been hurt that he hadn't been able to remember him...? Had he just blown any chance of ever seeing him again?   
Tom cursed himself ten times to next week for being such an idiot; he remembered how sensitive that kid was – he should have known better. That boy wasn't one of those horny sluts that he usually had in his bed, who only played hard to get but were actually totally easy... No, this kid was different. He was... special.

A knocking at his window nearly scared him to death, and he glared over to see David looking into his R8, with a mixture of concern and annoyance.

"About time," Tom grumbled as he got out of the car.

"You look terrible, are you alright?" David steadied him as he stumbled out of the car, but Tom yanked his arm out of his grasp and gave him a sharp look.

"Fine," he snapped; "Just take me home." He was feeling worse than when he had woken up, and now just really wanted to go to bed and pass out.

~*~

Bill sighed, staring at the phone in his hand; he felt totally pathetic and lonely, and just wanted to curl up in bed and cry. But of course he didn't, because crying over a hooker was the dumbest reason anyone would ever have to cry, so he just ignored it and tossed his phone on his bed before stalking to the kitchen; he would cook something. Cooking stuff always made him feel better, and he wanted to take his mind off things.

Maybe this whole thing with Tom had been a really bad idea. Perhaps he should meet up with Andreas instead; the guy had been really nice after all, and he really liked Bill, so who knew, maybe things would work out between them.

'And besides, Tom is just a hooker, whereas Andreas is an actual person that I could date,' Bill nodded with determination; he could get over the fact that he didn't find Andreas all that attractive, after all there were more important things than first impressions and looks.   
Once he got to know Andreas better, surely he would like him more. The other day he had had a great time with him after all, so he was willing to give him a chance.   
At least Andreas didn't confuse him with some stupid random guy in a silver BMW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone ^^  
> this is the last chapter I have written of this story, so I wont be posting again until... I finish a new one, which might be a few days... I'm crazy busy at the moment but I will keep updating, dont worry ^^ Ijust dont know when. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Bill. What's wrong? Is everything alright?" Liu Jie asked concerned when Bill arrived at work on Monday afternoon.

"Yeah, why?" Bill asked in confusion, not having felt as if he were behaving oddly.

"I don't know... It's only 4:21. You're shift doesn't start for another 9 minutes and you're already here," the cook gave him a suspicious, amused look.

"Ha, ha. Very funny," Bill grumbled drily though he knew Liu Jie had a point; he was usually never early for work. "My classes finished early," Bill lied, without being able to explain what compelled him to lie so much lately. Ever since he had met Tom, every second word out of his mouth was a lie even though there was barely ever any good reason behind it; it wasn't even as if he lied about important things – no, just random rubbish that didn't matter anyway, but the giant secret that the hustler had become in his life compelled him to be secretive about everything else. Including today about the fact that he hadn't gone to band rehearsal with the G's because he still felt like crap about that phone conversation with Tom yesterday.

"Alright then," Liu Jie shrugged with a grin while Bill tied his apron to begin with work.

Of course before he got there, Li Jing stormed into the kitchen; "Bill! I see you outside. You still no quit smoking! But you here early," she went from angry to delighted in a second.

"I'm working on it," Bill sighed; that was another lie because he hadn't actually been working on that at all, and in the past week he'd smoked a lot more than usual.

"Give him a break, boss. It takes a while to quit," Liu Jie patted Bill sympathetically on the shoulder.

"Quiet Liu. You smoke more than Bill and you no even try to stop," the short Chinese lady rolled her eyes at him before rushing towards her tiny office in the back of the restaurant and calling over her shoulder; "Good see you so early Bill. I proud of you!"

Bill nodded numbly, having the strong desire to say 'don't get used to it', but he remained quiet and went to his station instead to begin with the orders that slowly began to come in from the first early afternoon guests.

It wasn't long before Andreas showed up, exactly one minute before his shift started, and this time Bill was the first to greet him with what he hoped was a simple 'hey'.

"Hey," Andreas beamed at him, obviously very happy that for the first time Bill had initiated the conversation.

The afternoon passed like any other at work, except today he conversed a bit more than usual with Andreas, and again he was surprised at how nice the bleached blond kid actually was. Of course once dinner stress rolled around they didn't have time to chat anymore, but it had still been nicer than on other days when Bill couldn't wait to get out of there. 

 

As the last guests finally left the restaurant shortly after 11, Bill hung up his apron and washed his hands in the sink where Andreas was still busy cleaning the last dishes.

"You up for a drink before bed?" the blond asked as he put away the last of the pots.

"Not really. I have to be in class at 9:30 tomorrow. But thanks," Bill sighed, stretching a bit and massaging his neck that was sore from staring down at pots and pans for a few hours. "Maybe another time though?" he added quickly before Andreas thought he was turning him down; he really was exhausted and had to be in class tomorrow.

"Sounds good, let me know," Andreas grinned, and Bill went outside for a much needed smoke before heading home; today had been one of those days that really didn't need to exist. He hadn't done anything productive at all and had just spent the entire day waiting for it to finally be over.

 

"Alright guys, concentrate," Bill urged Georg and Gustav after another take had gone wrong.

After class had ended on Tuesday, the three of them had returned to their little garage to practice for their recording that would be taking place in just two days, and that they really weren't ready for. This was probably the worst moment in their lives to be doing this, with Georg going through his break up, Bill going through his personal issues with that hustler that no one knew of, and Gustav going through whatever issues Gustav had lately – neither Georg nor Bill had any idea what had gotten into their drummer lately but he was acting even more bitchy than usual. However, they had the appointment with the studio and if they moved it, they probably had to wait for months again and pay more, so they had no choice but to fight through it in one horrible music session after another.

After another attempt of 'Scream' went horribly wrong, Bill put his guitar aside with a sigh and looked around at his friends; "Seriously, what's wrong with us? We've played this a million times, we know how these songs go."

Georg and Gustav both looked as discouraged as Bill felt, but Georg was the first to speak; "I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I'm dragging you guys down."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's not your fault," Gustav huffed, sending him a glare; "It's all our faults. We're all playing like crap."

Bill laughed miserably, rubbing his face with his hands; "We are. Maybe we should just cancel our recording session. We're not ready for this anyway. We don't have enough songs, we're not playing them right... We don't even have a title for the album!"

"The title can come later and we're only missing one single song that we can add later as well," Georg argued.

"I have an idea for a song..." Bill said slowly, not sure if this was the right moment.

"Oh?" Both Gs looked at him expectantly.

Bill took his guitar again, slowly playing out the tune he'd been working on since... Well a little over a week. Ever since the day after he'd met Tom. That stupid man who was driving him crazy.  
The Gs listened, Gustav drumming his fingers against his chair with Bill's rhythm, obviously already expanding it all in his head while Bill played a few more tunes, and then began to sing the first verse; "I'm still awake for you. We won't make it together. We can't hide the truth."

While Bill sang, Georg got his bass and slowly began accompanying him with his own input, the way all their songs started out, and it wasn't long before Gustav was back at his drums, giving them a good beat; maybe it had been the right time for this after all.

For the first time since Georg had gotten dumped, one of their songs actually turned out well, and they spent nearly an hour rearranging, expanding and improving their new sound. It was probably too early to record it, but at least it was bringing them back together, and soon enough they managed to turn to other songs as well, finally having a successful session again.

 

Two days later, Bill and the Gs were finally in the recording studio, taping their first album together with a very bored sound engineer who didn't seem at all interested in what he was doing. Nevertheless, their recording went surprisingly well given how bad they had been lately, and after a good 9 hours they had all their finished songs. They didn't turn out as perfect as Bill had hoped, but they were a start, and he couldn't wait to give the CD to Andreas in hopes that he would really pass it on to his uncle; just thinking about it made Bill's stomach twist in excitement.

~*~

Tom glared at his phone, willing it to explode in his hand. It was already Friday and there had been no sign from Bill. The boy had probably changed his mind after Tom had treated him like a common, cheap slut and broken his heart. 'Wait, what?' Tom stopped his pondering to think about what he had actually just thought; was he seriously becoming so delusional as to think that the shy kid had fallen for him? For a hustler?  
'I'm going nuts.' He concluded with a slow nod; the boy was officially driving him insane. Every time his phone rang, he was disappointed to find out it wasn't him calling; he even sometimes thought he heard a text message when there was none. What was happening to him?

Was this what happened to people when they were in love with someone...? But that was ridiculous - he was TomTrümper, major jerk and heartbreaker who never fell for anyone ever at all. It was out of the question.   
And yet he was going crazy and couldn't stop thinking about him. 

"Tom?" David interrupted his brooding. "I'm going over to the Viper Room, are you coming?"

"No," Tom growled angrily, stuffing his phone into his pocket. 

"Hey is everything alright? You've been a bit off lately..." David asked carefully, obviously not wanting to cross any lines.

"Fine," Tom snapped, getting up to grab his jacket; he didn't want to talk to David about it. Or anyone else for that matter; there was no way he would ever speak out loud what he was feeling about that damned boy who refused to call him.

"Is there a problem with the company?" David asked even more careful than before.

"No, David, everything is fine. It's personal," Tom sighed while he slipped into his jacket. 

"As personal as that time I picked you up from that crazy chick who nearly overdosed and then burned all your clothes after you refused to marry her?" David smiled feebly.

Tom sent him a dark glare; "Didn't we agree never to speak of that night for the rest of our lives?" 

"Yes," David chuckled as they walked out of Tom's office, down the empty hallways of the building, towards the garage. "So what's wrong?" he asked quietly. 

Tom gave him a sideways glance; even though he and David didn't often speak of personal things, when it came down to it, David was probably the best friend he had. Maybe he should confide in him... Maybe it would help him get over it?

"It's complicated," he eventually sighed. 

"It always is," David grinned. "What's up?"

"It's a guy." Tom said stupidly, feeling like a total idiot.

"What's he doing? Is he threatening you? Blackmailing you? Are you in some kind of trouble? Is it that creepy drug dealer you hang out with?" David asked in alarm.

"I don't hang out with any drug dealers, you loon. And no, he's not threatening or blackmailing me... What's wrong with you?" Tom gave him a disturbed look.

"Well I don't know. What sort of problems do you have with this guy then?" David asked defensively.

"I don't have problems with him – I have problems without him," Tom groaned in defeat; he knew that David would probably laugh at him for the rest of their lives, but at this point he didn't care anymore.

"...You sure it's not a drug dealer?" David asked again.

"What?! The hell, man? You think I'm a junkie?" Tom glared at him; alright, so sometimes he took a couple of party drugs when the occasion called for it, but it's not like he was actually addicted to the stuff.

"I'm sorry!" David threw his hands up; "What am I supposed to think? When someone says they can't live without a guy it's either their drug dealer or they're in love with- holy shit!" He finished loudly, staring at him with wide eyes.

Tom sighed, not entirely certain if that was really it, but probably. "I don't know."

"Ok wait, wait," David paused in the hall just before they reached the entrance of the building. "What the hell are we talking about right now?"

Tom sighed again, running a hand through his hair; might as well just spill it all. "I met this guy two weeks ago... His name is Bill."

"And?" David urged.

"...And I can't stop thinking about him," Tom dropped his head to stare at his shoes; he felt like a silly teenager all of a sudden. There was nothing worse than this feeling.

"Are you messing with me?" David suddenly gave him a suspicious look; "You're just screwing with me, aren't you?" he slapped Tom's arm.

"Of course I am," Tom nodded, for the lack of anything better to say. "Let's go. I'm tired, I want to go home."

David pulled him back just before he managed to open the door; "Hold it. You were kidding, right?" he asked slowly, giving him an almost serious look.

"I don't know, David! I don't want to talk about this!" Tom snapped, suddenly really angry.

"Holy shit... You weren't kidding..." David stared at him in disbelief, but Tom just groaned, not knowing what to do or say. This was quickly turning into the most awkward conversation he'd ever had.

"OK, let's start again... So his name is Bill?" David picked up from where they had trailed off.

"Yeah," Tom just nodded, not knowing what else to say about it.

"And...?" David prodded gently.

"And what?"

"And where did you meet? What happened? When did you last see him? What does he do? How old is he? Why the hell is he on your mind when no one else has ever been?" David rambled, suddenly really excited; it was almost disturbing.

"Um..." Tom debated with himself if it would be wise to tell his friend the truth or not. "Well... we met two weeks ago when I was going to meet up with Nathan..."

"Oh. Is he a friend of Nathan's?"

"No," Tom mumbled stupidly. "I was waiting for Nathan to show up at a street corner... But then Bill showed up and thought I was a hooker..."

David raised an eyebrow, looking indecisive whether he should laugh or not; "What?" he finally asked, obviously waiting for Tom to say he was just kidding.

"Yeah. He offered me a hundred dollars to have sex with him," Tom smiled a bit, still highly amused by Bill's amazing mistake.

David burst out laughing; "And what did he say when you told him you're the billionaire Tom Trümper?"

Tom gave him a somewhat guilty look, hoping he wouldn't actually have to say it out loud.

"You didn't tell him?!" David nearly screamed and Tom covered his face with his hands and groaned.

"Not yet," he whined, heading towards the lobby to sit down since it was obvious they wouldn't be leaving the building yet.

"Wait a second. Did you do it?" An incredulous David followed him into the lobby. "Have sex with him, I mean."

"Yes. No. Well... sort of?"

"What the hell does that mean?" David laughed, obviously highly entertained by this; if it would be someone else's problem, Tom would also be laughing about it.

"It means I was going to but the kid was a virgin so I felt guilty and... didn't. I gave him a hand-job," He decided to leave the blowjob part out; that really wasn't something David needed to know.

"Two things," David held up his hand; "Why the hell was a virgin going to a hooker, and above all, why the hell did you feel guilty? It's not like you've never screwed a virgin before."

"I don't know why he was doing that... It makes no sense at all because-"

"Was he super ugly? Probably not because otherwise you wouldn't have considered it, duh. Sorry for asking," David answered his own question as they sat down in waiting area in the lobby.

"Right... Yeah, he was really... amazingly... stunningly... incredibly hot," Tom said slowly; "Possibly the most breathtaking person I've ever laid eyes on," he finished with a nod.

"Wow..." David nodded as well, looking slightly shocked; "If he was so hot, why did you turn him down?"

"I didn't turn him down I just... He's so nice. He's really sweet and adorable. There's no way he should be paying for it..." Tom mumbled, feeling utterly stupid.

After David didn't reply for a moment, Tom looked over to see him staring; "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were Tom's nice twin Thomas who's come to replace the evil version of you that I've known my entire life."

"Seriously?" Tom asked drily; "My nice twin Thomas? Who would name their twins Tom and Thomas? That's totally retarded."

"Whatever! So back to Bill! He's really hot and nice? Wow... That's gotta be a first here in L.A., huh? Most really hot guys like you are total jerks like you," David grinned and ducked a bit, apparently expecting Tom to hit him, but he just nodded.

"Yeah. It's amazing," he agreed thoughtfully.

"Alright, alright, alright!" David continued excitedly; "So then what?"

"Then nothing. Then I went home and so did he."

"What, that's it?" Obviously David was very disappointed.

"He asked me for my number," Tom mumbled awkwardly and David began to snigger.

"Aaand?" he coaxed.

"And he called me last week but I was totally stupid and pretended not to remember him," Tom growled darkly, hating himself.

"And now he's crazy about you and can't wait to see you again?" David grinned.

"No!" Tom snapped; "Now he hates me."

"Wait what? I don't get it..." Obviously David also knew how most people that Tom knew ticked.

"I don't either... I think he was hurt that I didn't remember him or something, and then he hung up," he mumbled meekly, feeling like a 14 year old girl who got no attention from the quarterback.

"No way," David mumbled in disbelief. "He was actually hurt that you, a supposed prostitute, didn't remember him?!"

"Yes..." Tom groaned, leaning back in the chair and staring up the ceiling; "And now he'll probably never call me ever again," he whined indignantly; this was something he usually never ever did, but tonight he really wanted to whine to someone, and David would be his victim.

"Wow... that' just... wow," David nodded, obviously at a loss of words as well.

"Yeah," Tom agreed. "How could I be so stupid?" he berated himself loudly; "Why didn't I just tell him that I knew who he was?!"

"And that you haven't been able to stop thinking about him."

"And that I haven't been able to stop thinking about him!"

"And that you're dying to see him again."

"And that I'm dying to see him again!"

"And that you're head over heels in love with him and want to date him."

"And that I'm- what? No. Dude, no," Tom glared over at David who was grinning like an idiot.

"Oh come on! I've never seen you like this in all my years of knowing you. And I've seen you in quite a lot of states, but never like this, you should seriously-"

"Wait!" Tom yelled, pulling his phone out that was vibrating in his pocket; there was no way that would be him, right?

As he finally managed to remove the phone and look at it, his heart nearly stopped at the name on the display: Bill.

"It's him!" Tom nearly screamed.


	10. Chapter 10

Bill’s heart was racing in his chest as he waited for Tom to pick up; would he even remember they talked? Probably not… Over the past week he had contemplated what to do, and the smarter thing would have been to forget all about the hustler and go out with Andreas, but Bill really didn’t want to. No matter how much he tried to reason with himself that Tom was just a cheap hooker who didn’t care at all about him and only did what he did for money, and that Andreas was actually a nice kid who obviously really liked him, he still found himself here tonight – calling Tom.

After all, Tom was able to pretend he cared, and that was enough for Bill. There was no reason he shouldn’t be as happy with Tom’s feigned affection as he would be with any other man’s real affection. Real men cheated and pretended as well, and with the hustler at least he knew that he was out screwing other people and only pretending he cared. ‘ _When it comes down to it, he’s actually a lot more honest_ ,’ Bill convinced himself, coming up with the dumbest, most ridiculous excuses to see the man again.

“Hello?” Tom’s voice answered after a few rings.

“Hi!” Bill said enthusiastically, only to remember that this man had no idea who he was. “Oh um… it’s-”

“Bill,” Tom interrupted, nearly causing Bill to faint; had he recognized his voice? Had he saved his number? What had he saved it under…? _Creepy virgin kid_? Bill was over the moon.

“Yeah! Hi!” He said so cheerfully he wanted to bite his own tongue off. ‘ _Seriously, Bill, get a hold of yourself. You’re so pathetic._ ’

~*~

Tom had the horrible desire to squeal at Bill’s enthusiasm, but quickly composed himself, speaking in the manliest voice he was able to muster right now; “What’s up?”

“I-I was wondering if you maybe had time? Today o-or tomorrow?” Bill’s shy, awkward voice stuttered into the phone.

Tom was more than willing to cancel whatever appointment he might have so it really didn’t matter when Bill wanted to see him. “Yeah, I’ve got time. When do you want?” he asked casually, hoping it wasn’t too casual. Should he be less casual? But it’s not like he could tell Bill how he really felt, so how was he supposed to act?  
It happened very rarely that Tom didn’t know how to act around someone, but Bill was impossible for him to evaluate.

“Um… Maybe tomorrow?” Bill asked slowly and Tom cursed him for not wanting to see him right now.

“Yeah sure, tomorrow’s fine. At what time?” He asked calmly.

“11? Is that too early? Too late?” the boy’s voice was almost as nervous as Tom felt.

“It’s fine. Where do we meet?” Bill’s nervousness calmed him a bit; at least he wasn’t the only nervous wreck around here.

“Uh…um… At that place from last time?” Bill mumbled so quietly Tom barely heard him.

“Yeah sure,” Tom shrugged to give his voice a calmer tone.

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Bill said happily.

“Yeah. Tomorrow,” Tom agreed and waited for Bill to hang up a second later.

“And?!” David’s loud, excited voice interrupted Tom’s mind that was still caught in Bill’s voice.

“And we’re meeting tomorrow at 11 at that motel where we were last time,” Tom grinned.

“Great!” David laughed; “So does that mean you’re not coming over to the Viper Room to check out all those super hot chicks that are all waiting for you?”

“Of course I am,” Tom shrugged, following David to the garage. He hadn’t gotten laid since last weekend, maybe that’s why he was so caught up on this ridiculous Bill thing. It’s not like he was actually in love with Bill, right? Of course not… he just really wanted him because he was hot and a virgin. As soon as he had him, he would lose all interest in the kid and move on. And until then he would continue with his life as always, screwing everything that was remotely doable.   
Yes. He would not let some pretty virgin ruin his sex life.

~*~

Bill clapped his hands happily as he put the phone down and danced to the kitchen; tomorrow he would finally be able to see Tom again. He had actually wanted to see him tonight, but then decided against it because that would sound so desperate.

“What’s gotten into you?” Gustav asked as Bill waltzed into the kitchen.

“Nothing,” Bill grinned happily.

“Yeah right. Are you going on a date with Andreas?” The drummer asked slyly.

“What?!” Bill almost yelled.

“I heard you on the phone as I passed your room.”

Bill stared in horror for a moment only to realize that Gustav had no idea whom he’d been talking to. “Yes… Tomorrow,” he eventually smiled; he could carry on pretending Tom was Andreas just like he had the other day.

“That’s great. I’m happy for you, mate.” Gustav patted his shoulder as he came over to the table with his sandwich ingredients. “You hungry as well?”

“Yeah,” Bill nodded, beginning to cut the bread; “Where’s Geo? Should we ask him if he’s hungry too?”

“No. He’s sleeping, I think.” Gustav shook his head as they began preparing sandwiches.

“Already? It’s only…10?” Bill asked as he glanced over at their kitchen watch.

“Yeah, he said he was tired and wanted to get some rest.” Gustav shrugged, placing salad on their sandwiches.

“Dude… don’t do that,” Bill complained; “First the cheese, then the salad, otherwise the bread gets all squishy.”

Gustav rolled his eyes; “Whatever, I’m going to eat it right now anyway.”

“Let me do that!” Bill snatched the bread away from him, trying to salvage the awful situation; Gustav was so useless in the kitchen, he couldn’t even prepare a proper sandwich.

“Fine, you do it,” Gustav grumbled, sitting down and pouting with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey what’s been wrong with you lately?” Bill asked quietly, eyeing his moody friend.

“What do you mean?” Gustav gave him a blank stare.

“I don’t know. You’ve been really bitchy lately… Even more than usual,” he added with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“No I haven’t,” Gustav said passively.

“Yes you have!” Bill gestured around with the mayonnaise knife.

“You’re going to poke someone’s eye out, man.” Gustav leaned a bit back in his chair to avoid Bill’s gesticulating.

“Ever since Geo broke up with Hanna you’ve been really weird,” Bill pointed out, smearing more mayo on their sandwiches and ignoring the eye-poking comment.

“No I haven’t,” Gustav denied again.

“Yes you have!” Bill said in exasperation. “No, seriously… what’s going on, Gusti?”

“You know I hate it when you call me like that, right?” he huffed.

Bill sighed; “Stop changing the subject. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Gustav snapped, grabbing his sandwich and leaving the kitchen; a moment later Bill heard his door slamming.

What had gotten into poor Gusti? Georg should actually be the moody one, not Gustav… Though Georg seemed to be doing almost ok with the situation. Bill was actually quite surprised that the bassist had recovered so well, so soon, from the breakup; it had only been about two weeks ago but Georg seemed to be taking full part in the land of the living again, and going on with his life.   
The first few days Bill had thought Georg would fall into a terrible depression and never leave his room again, but he seemed to have recovered quickly; or at least it appeared as if he had.

Since Gustav had stormed off, Bill had to clean up the kitchen on his own before returning to his room with his sandwich, still puzzled over Gustav’s odd behavior. It had dampened his mood a bit, but not enough for him not to have a good evening, working on the new song he had written for Tom. Ok, not for Tom. Just the new song he had written. No one would ever need to know that it was secretly for the hustler.

  
~*~

Tom shut his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the woman’s moaning underneath him. Usually he was turned on by noisy girls, if they didn’t overdo it, but tonight it made his ears bleed. He wanted her to shut up for reasons he couldn’t explain - she just didn’t have that sexy, melodic voice that he wanted to hear right now.

A bit roughly, he pushed into her again, wanting things to move along but somehow he seemed unable to reach a climax tonight; what the hell was happening to him? Here he was, with a perfectly sexy woman underneath him that any guy would kill to have, and yet he was unable to concentrate or even enjoy it.   
His mind kept wandering back to those dark eyes and shy smile. What would it feel like to be inside of him? What would he be doing were he here instead of that wretched girl? Tom wanted to hear his delectable moaning instead of the jarring squawks he got from this girl here.

With a frustrated grunt, Tom suddenly pulled out of the girl and sat up, panting from the exertion of doing this for too long without any sort of outcome for him.

“What’s wrong?” She asked breathlessly; her hair was a mess and her cheeks flushed.

“I have to go,” Tom growled, searching for his clothes.

“What? But… you didn’t even…” she stammered with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Sorry, I don’t have time right now.” He said shortly, pulling on his clothes; he was suddenly completely out of it. Earlier tonight he had been so in the mood but somehow right now he just wanted to go home and be alone. It wasn’t often that he lost his desire in the middle of a game; actually this might the very first time. It was unsettling.

“But that was so good,” the girl smiled seductively; “Are you sure you don’t want to stay just for a few more minutes? I’m so ready,” she leered at him, licking her lips and caressing herself.

Those words and actions would usually be enough to get Tom interested, but right now he was just annoyed and frustrated for unknown reasons. “I have to go. See ya,” he muttered as he left her bedroom and exited her apartment a moment later. He knew he was being a jerk, but couldn’t really care less; the girl was just an easy slut that anyone could have any time, and though that was usually exactly what he wanted - right now it repulsed him.

After exiting the building, he took a deep breath from the cool night air and searched his pockets for a cigarette that he lit on the way back to the car. Why was he so troubled lately? Why was cheap, casual sex not enough to satisfy whatever lust he had? Why didn’t he know what he wanted anymore?  
Maybe it really was a midlife crisis of some kind… But wasn’t he too young for a midlife crisis? Maybe it was an earlylife crisis.

Taking another long drag from the cigarette, Tom leaned against his car and listened to the loud city noise. Somewhere out there was Bill. Was he sleeping already? Tom glanced at his watch that showed 2:51am. Probably – why would he be up at this unholy hour.   
Thinking of Bill just rekindled his earlier anger; all of this was Bill’s fault. He was obsessed over the beautiful boy because he had just let him go. But not so tomorrow – tomorrow he would fuck him senseless and then forget about him the way he did with everyone else too. There was nothing special about Bill other than the fact that he was a beautiful boy in L.A. who hadn’t lost his innocence yet; but tomorrow all that would change. Tomorrow Bill would become just like everyone else – a cheap slut who did it with anyone.   
And then finally Tom would be able to go back to his mindless whoring around and wouldn’t have to think about him 24 hours a day.

 


	11. Chapter 11

After the thousandst glance in the mirror, Bill was finally ready to go. Or at least as ready as he would ever be. He was almost more nervous than last time he had gone out to solicit this kind service, because now he actually knew whom he would be meeting with and that made him unbelievably anxious. Last time they had seen each other had been two weeks ago, and Bill hadn't been able to stop thinking about the hustler for more than a few minutes at a time, so knowing that they would soon be together again filled him with a nervewrecking excitement that made his hands sweat and tremble.

  
"Wow. Don't you look like a million bucks," Georg laughed as Bill finally emerged out of his room. He had actually hoped the bassist had gone to his room already, but Georg was still sitting in the living room with his laptop; damn Geo, couldn't he do whatever he was doing, in his own room?!

"Oh," Bill laughed awkwardly; "Thanks."

"You must really like that Andreas dude, huh? Whens the wedding?" Georg grinned.

"Funny. Shut up. Goodnight." Bill rolled his eyes and hurried to the door.

"Hey seriously!" Georg called after him into the hall; "When do we get to meet him?"

"Never, I hope," Bill muttered under his breath as he pulled his shoes on and then quickly left before Georg demanded an answer.

  
The drive to the motel wasn't long, and Bill found himself there almost 15 minutes too early. Oh well, at least it gave him time to smoke, which was something he really needed in order to calm down right now.  
He parked behind the establishment where his car was well hidden from any passersby or any people who might recognize it as his, and then he rolled down the window and got out his cigarettes; at this rate it would be impossible to quit. This was already his second pack today. But waiting for the evening until he could finally see Tom again had turned him into a nervous wreck and he had resorted to chain-smoking; that was so contra productive.

It only took him a few short minutes to finish and cigarette, after which he slowly got out of the car and walked up to the motel; should he just wait outside? Go inside? When would Tom show up? Would he be long? Should he go to a room?

After a few moments of hesitation, he decided to just wait outside because he felt too stupid going in alone. And for the lack of a better activity, he decided to smoke another one; after all, standing outside a shady motel all alone was really pathetic, and at least smoking made it seem as if he were standing there for a good reason.  
This time he smoked very slowly, not wanting to waste another cigarette while he waited for that damned hustler who was taking a really long time.

Impatiently he glanced at his watch again, only to realize it was still 7 minutes to 11... ' _Ugh. Why do I always have to be so punctual??_ '

It was only a few seconds later that a cab pulled into the parking lot in front of the motel and Tom got out after a minute. Bill's excitement was back with full force, and he quickly took a few deep breaths to calm himself; he didn't want the man to know what a nervous bundle he was because that was just pathetic. Especially because Tom himself looked completely calm; obviously, he did this sort of thing for a living...

~*~

Tom took a deep breath as he got out of the car to try and calm his nerves a little, but it was difficult because he hadn't been able to stop thinking about that damned boy for one second ever since he had called last night.

The cab drove off as soon as Tom closed the door, leaving him standing all alone in front of the shabby motel, and in front of Bill who looked even more amazing than last time - if that was possible. His long, black hair hung down his shoulders, hugging his perfect face, and shining slightly in the white light from the streetlamp; it looked almost like a shining halo, fitting to his angelic looks.

As Tom approached him, he extinguished his half-finished cigarette on the trashcan next to the motel entrance, and threw the remains in the waste, just as Tom caught up with him.

"Hey," Tom greeted him casually, easily seeing how nervous the poor kid was again; he looked almost more nervous than last night, though not as frightened.

"Hi," Bill smiled that dazzling smile that made Tom weak in the knees.

"Shall we?" Tom held the door open for him and smiled, maybe a bit too brightly; he just couldn't help himself. ' _The only reason I'm happy to see him is because once I fuck him, this nightmare will finally be over,'_  Tom reasoned with himself in an attempt to justify his thrill at seeing the enticing boy again.

~*~

Bill couldn't hide his smile at the hustler's nice behavior; was he already playing the game from last time? Because that's exactly what Bill wanted this time as well.

"What'll it be?" The same man from last time asked as they approached the reception.

"One hour," Bill mumbled, feeling a blush taking over his face again.

The man nodded, not demanding an ID this time, and once Bill had paid, handed him a key to room 843. Wasn't that the same room they had last time...?

In total silence, Tom followed him to the room that did indeed turn out to be the same one from last time, where the hustler again flung his jacket over a chair after putting the bottle of lubricant on the table.

"So what may I do for you today?" The man smiled at him with a mixture of affection and lust that made Bill's stomach jump.

"Um...The same as last time? I mean not exactly the same but... you know," Bill muttered stupidly, hoping the hustler understood what he was trying to say.

The man nodded with a cocky smile as he approached him and wound his arms around his hips to draw him closer; this was definitely different than last time. But Bill liked it. Obviously the hustler now knew how the game went, and immediately nuzzled around on Bill's neck; Bill was almost disappointed that the man hadn't attempted to kiss him because this time he actually wanted to try it. But of course he didn't dare say it, much less try it himself, so the man just carried on with the exquisite foreplay.

A bit hesitantly, Bill wrapped his arms around the man's neck, running his hand through his soft, slightly messy hair. The man smelled unusually good for being a cheap hustler; what was up with that? Bill had always thought these sorts of people had to smell terrible because... Ok, actually he had no logical explanation as to why that should be so, but still.

~*~

Tom groaned internally, wishing he could just kiss the life out of those delicious lips, but not wanting to do something the kid didn't want. Or did he...? Should he just kiss him and throw him on the bed, the way he had wanted to do since... well since the moment he'd laid eyes on him?

That had been his intention for tonight, after all. ' _Yes, do it,'_ he growled at himself, moving the boy closer to the bed while removing first his own, and then the boy's top.   
Today he wasn't patient enough to just play around - they had done enough of that last time - today he wanted to get some.

Roughly he pushed the kid down on the bed and unbuckled his belt while he kicked his shoes off, only taking a few seconds before being on top of him, driven by pent up lust and not caring that this was not what the boy was paying him for. The kid wanted romance, not a rough quickie. ' _But I'm not actually a hustler. I don't give a shit what he wants... Right?'_ He debated silently, completely torn between his own desire and the boy's.

He just wanted to rid himself of this nightmare and forget about him. Once he finally had him, he could move on with his life and stop this ridiculous charade of being a hustler and whatnot. He didn't want to have feelings for this pathetic kid – he just wanted to screw him and then throw him away like he did with everyone else, and like everyone else did with him.

The boy tried to squirm away, but Tom straddled him into the mattress and used his right hand to turn his face towards him, maybe a bit too harshly; this whole not kissing thing was driving him mad and he would put an end to it as well.

Bill's resistance only lasted for a second before his body fell limply against the mattress, his arms crossed over his chest as if trying to ward off any oncoming dangers as he stared up at Tom with confused, frightened eyes.

~*~

Completely freaked out, Bill lay motionless underneath the man, waiting for him to make a move. Suddenly he was scared of him, despite having been looking so forward to seeing him; this wasn't what he wanted, and the man's sudden rough behavior and the hard look in his eyes scared him. If he had been a bit braver he would have told him that he wanted him to stop, but he didn't dare.

The hustler seemed to hesitate for quite a while, which confused Bill even more. What was happening? Why did Tom seem so angry or aggressive or whatever all of a sudden? Had Bill done something wrong?

~*~

That look was all Tom needed to realize he'd just made a huge mistake. There was no way he could just do that - he thought he could, but he couldn't. Looking into Bill's confused eyes reminded him that Bill wasn't playing hard to get - he didn't want someone to just take him without permission... He wasn't turned on by someone dominating him, and he wasn't like all those other people Tom was usually with. And maybe he didn't want him to be...

Maybe Tom wanted to remain fascinated and tortured... Maybe having sex with the boy was actually a really bad idea and he should just... not do it.

Having changed his mind radically again, Tom gently kissed down the boy's pale chest, stroking his arms to try and calm him down a bit. He'd made a terrible mistake – if he didn't correct it, the boy would probably never... request his services again. If only he were allowed to kiss him... Tom couldn't remember a single time in his life when he'd been more eager to kiss someone. Not even close.  
But since that wasn't an option, he resorted to kissing every other inch of his exposed body.

~*~

Bill was utterly confused about that turn of events earlier – what had happened? Had the hustler confused the game...? Had he had a different client in mind and forgotten which game they had going here? Or was that what he was actually like when he wasn't pretending?

It was only now that it slowly dawned on him how dangerous this actually was. If the man so wanted, he could change the game any moment and there was nothing Bill could do about it.   
Suddenly he was really scared of him and didn't want to do this anymore. But what if he told him to stop? Would he get angry? Aggressive?

Bill was actually a total coward when it came to physical confrontations, especially with someone a lot stronger than him – so what should he do? How had he, for a moment, been able to think that this was a good idea? He must have been crazy! These kinds of people were dangerous – what had he been thinking by getting involved with one of them?!   
How had he been so stupid as to fantasize about this man being anything other than a hustler?

Earlier he'd been really into what the man was doing, but only until he got more aggressive; it wasn't that Bill didn't think rough could be good, but from a total stranger it scared him because he couldn't estimate the situation or know just how rough the man really liked it. Plus he didn't think he was physically or emotionally ready for wild sex.   
Least of all with a stranger who might be capable of anything.   
This wasn't what he wanted... This was a terrible game.

"Wait," he finally managed to breathe out, barely loud enough to be audible in the small room.

~*~

Tom wanted to scream at the boy's words. He knew exactly why he wanted him to stop, and he hated himself for it. How had he been so dumb as to screw it up a second time? And what should he do now? The kid would never want to see him again... But he wanted him so much... More than he could ever remember wanting anyone in his life – obviously, because he always got everyone he wanted right away. And Tom always got what he wanted. One way or another. No matter the price.

 


	12. Chapter 12

But maybe not this time. Maybe this time he wouldn’t get what he wanted. Especially because he didn’t actually want to go against what the kid wanted; he still had that ridiculous desire to make him happy. And of course, to hear those exquisite sounds he made when Tom pleasured him.

~*~

Bill stared up at the man who leaned above him, trying to read his expression, but at this moment he just looked cold and menacing. Should he have just let him do whatever he wanted…? Maybe now that he had upset him, he’d only made it worse. After all, the man had backed down a bit again before Bill spoke.

“I’m sorry.” The hustler smiled softly, rolling off him and sitting up at the edge of the bed.

Well that wasn’t at all what Bill had expected.

~*~

Tom wanted to die. How could he have been so stupid? Why was he even trying to convince himself that sex was all he wanted from the kid? Knowing that he had blown any chance of ever… Of ever what? Being with him…? That was just ridiculous… But it killed him anyway. Obviously he hadn’t learned anything from that disastrous phone call a week ago.

With a sigh, he got up to gather his clothes and leave; this was a total mess and the sooner he could leave the better.

“Where are you going?” The boy mumbled from the bed; Tom had avoided looking at him, but now he did. The kid had pulled his legs up, wrapped his arms around them and now eyed him cautiously.

“I don’t know,” Tom sighed again, running a hand through his hair; how had this gotten so complicated and dramatic? He didn’t even know this boy. All he wanted was to get laid. Well maybe not all but...

~*~

Now that Tom had gotten off him, he didn’t really seem that scary anymore, and Bill suddenly wanted him to stay again.

‘ _What’s wrong with me?! Am I schizophrenic or something?’_

The hustler didn’t actually seem dangerous or aggressive – maybe he really did just confuse Bill with someone else? There were probably a lot more people who preferred it rough...

“What were you sorry about?” Bill asked carefully, still being slightly confused about what the man had meant earlier.

Tom turned fully to look at him with an odd expression that Bill didn’t know how to interpret; he looked almost…sad?

“About scaring you earlier. It wasn’t my intention.” He smiled a surprisingly warm smile, removing all of Bill’s early dreary thoughts.

“Oh. Did you confuse me with some other client? The one from the silver BMW?” Bill asked sadly.

~*~

Tom stared at him in disbelief – the boy was offering him a way out. With a small lie, he might actually be able to save this catastrophic evening and stay with him.

“Yes,” he answered almost automatically. “I’m very sorry.”

“Oh,” the boy smiled sadly, looking down at the covers. He looked so betrayed. Maybe Tom should just tell him the whole truth… Tell him why he had told him that stupid lie about the other client last week. Tell him why he’d just been so stupid a minute ago. Tell him that he was absolutely crazy about him and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the moment he’d laid eyes on him. Tell him that he wasn’t a hustler… And tell him that he was madly in-

“Is his name also Bill?” Bill interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes,” Tom said the first thing that came to mind. Obviously he wouldn’t be telling the truth tonight.

“Oh,” Bill said again, with another one of those heartbroken smiles. “Well I guess it happens,” he finally shrugged. “I um… I actually wanted something different..." he mumbled quietly. "I wanted you to pretend that..." he trailed awkwardly, giving him a desperate look; obviously he didn't want to say it again.

"Yeah, I remember," Tom smiled with a nod, unsure what he should do now. This situation was one of the most uncomfortable ones he'd been in in a long time.

Bill nodded, his hands fumbling around with the covers; "What do you prefer?" he asked quietly, lifting his head again to give him an uncertain look.

Tom was a bit confused as to what the kid was talking about. He still thought it was pretty funny that the kid even cared what he preferred, regardless what it was about. "What about?" Tom asked a bit uncertain.

"About..." the kid shrugged; "I don't know, about... you know," he mumbled stupidly, blushing a bit.

Tom had to bite his tongue to keep himself from smiling; "Whether I prefer it rough or not so much?"

"Yeah that." Bill nodded.

Had the kid thought he would hurt him? Tom had never actually taken advantage of someone, and didn't think he'd even be capable, but now that he thought about it, maybe from the boy's perspective it may have seemed like that. After all, how was the kid supposed to know that Tom was actually a really nice guy?

"I guess it can be fun if that's what both people want, but I think it strongly depends on the situation and on the mood I'm in. And of course on the person I'm with. I'm pretty flexible," he carefully chose the words he hoped would ease Bill's mind.

"Oh, ok," Bill nodded, looking a lot more relaxed than a minute ago, but it still left them with the awkward situation that obviously neither knew how to get over.

Of course Tom didn't actually want to leave, but if that's what the boy wanted, he would certainly do so – but how should he know? Bill was sending rather mixed signals at the moment, and Tom was generally terrible at reading Bill's signals anyway, so at this point he didn't really dare assume anymore.

"Would you like me to leave?" He finally asked. Maybe being upfront and honest was a better way to deal with Bill. Not that he could really be honest, but at least upfront.

"Do you want to leave?" Bill asked a bit dismayed.

Tom laughed softly, not being able to stop himself this time. "Why do you worry so much about what I want? You're the one paying..."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I want you to be uncomfortable... Or to do something you don't really want to do..." he mumbled stupidly, obviously realizing what he was saying the moment the words left his mouth. "I-I guess most people don't really worry about that, huh?"

"No, probably not," Tom smiled gently, sitting down on the chair by the small desk. This kid was so adorable. He was actually worried about a prostitutes feelings... Tom was still dying to know why he was soliciting this kind of service, but now was not the right time to ask.

"To answer your question – I'm comfortable staying, but I can also leave if you'd prefer that. You're probably the most pleasant customer I've ever had, so I'm good either way." Tom answered Bill's earlier question with half a lie. Of course Bill was the only customer of this kind he'd ever had, but he was comfortable with staying if he still wanted him to.

Bill laughed a bit with another blush –Tom was out of the danger-zone again. "I'd prefer it if you stay..." he said quietly, looking back down at the covers, which was great for Tom because he couldn't help but grin like an idiot.

~*~

Suddenly Bill felt really unfair for having been afraid of him. Tom seemed like a really nice person – it wasn't his fault that he had to do this sort of thing for a living, after all. Bill felt really bad for him - god knows the sorts of awful things he had to do for people... Of course the whole 'being paid for sex' sounds like a great thing for a guy if you don't think about it – who wouldn't want to get money for having sex, after all, but it was probably a really crappy job. Of course it was... Even for guys it probably sucked.

"Alright," Tom smiled that kind smile Bill had only seen once or twice on him before. It looked so real... Was it? Probably not... But maybe?  
Bill wanted to believe it was.

"I, um..." Bill trailed awkwardly again; "Would it be ok if you just... I don't know... pretend to be yourself? No wait... I don't mean 'pretend to be yourself' that makes no sense. I meant just... be yourself?" Bill stumbled over his own ridiculous ranting. ' _Oh god, he must think I'm mentally challenged or something!'_

The hustler smiled with a raised eyebrow.

"But but... Not your too-rough self? If that works for you?" Bill added quickly, wanting to make sure he got his point across about it still wanting to be romantic... What the hell was he doing anyway?!

~*~

Tom had a hard time not laughing out loud, which was funny because he didn't actually laugh all that much on a normal basis, but this kid was just way too adorable and hilarious at the same time.

"I think I can manage that," he brought out in what he hoped was a steady, not too humored voice; he didn't need the kid to know that he was highly entertained by his awkwardness.

"Ok." Bill smiled another one of those dazzling smiles of his that was mixed with shy hope.

Tom was a bit uncertain of what he should do now. Should he really just... do what he wanted...? Whilst being gentle of course. But still just... Was the kid asking him for some sort of really weird affair? In which they both... 'pretended to be themselves'?   
This whole thing was a total mess and Tom was utterly confused, but completely enthralled. Whatever this dramatic, emotional rubbish was that he was getting himself into, he found it far more fascinating than everything else currently going on in his life, and was willing to risk it. Even if it would lead to a total catastrophe because for the first time he actually played with the card that contained his heart, and it scared him beyond wits. ' _Well it's not like I need it for anything else anyway,_ ' he reminded himself as he slowly got up to walk back to the bed from which the kid was still smiling up at him.

As he reached the bed, he kicked his shoes off again and then slowly crawled on, sitting in front of the boy who hadn't yet changed poses.

"Ok so... we'll both just be ourselves and say if we're not good with something?" Bill asked, apparently to make sure Tom had gotten the memo.

"Yes," Tom agreed with a nod; well this was definitely the weirdest thing he'd ever gotten involved in. Usually he never talked to anyone about sex – before or after. They just did it, and then he left. Simple and clean. But of course with Bill everything had to be complicated. Tom liked it – on some weird, twisted level at least. Of course he would much rather prefer to like it to be simple, but that obviously didn't seem to be the case. Apparently what Tom wanted to want and what he really wanted, were two entirely different things. It was like _coming out_ all over again.

"As if it were real?" Bill whispered, staring at him with such an intent gaze that it almost made Tom nervous. He couldn't remember anyone ever having looked at him like that before. People stared at him for numerous reasons, but the look was always similar; either with pure lust, or pure hatred and jealousy. But this... This look was new to him. And he had no idea what it might mean.

"As if it were real," he agreed anyway, having no idea what he was truly getting himself into.

Out of all the things currently going on in his life, this seemed to be what he wanted more than anything. It was the only thing he was currently certain of, and the only thing he truly wanted right now, despite not knowing what ‘this’ even was, much less where it would take him. He was getting involved in a twisted affair built on lies and deceits that would one day turn around on him.   
But all that was irrelevant because the object of his obsession was right in front of him, ready to be taken – all consequences be damned.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Bill lay back down with the hustler leaning above him, just a few inches away from his face; this was the perfect moment to kiss him. _'Do it!'_ Bill yelled at himself, but of course he was too coward, and so the man leaned further down, kissing along his shoulder instead. Bill growled at himself.

The gentle kisses continued, and soon Bill had forgotten all about his earlier fright. Unlike earlier, Tom moved slowly and gently, covering his body with light kisses that gave him goosebumps and made his stomach flutter. Bill wished so much he hadn't said that ridiculous thing about the kissing...

~*~

So maybe this wasn't what Tom had planned for tonight, but then again... When did his plans regarding Bill ever really work?

Slow and romantic wasn't really something Tom did a lot, but he found he didn't mind at all. It gave him time to actually appreciate the boy's natural beauty; something he never bothered to do with other people - mostly because they weren't that beautiful. Or sensitive... or sensual... or generally enticing.

Hungrily, he licked along the boy's sensitive neck, up to his ear on which he nibbled tentatively, inhaling the soft scent of shampoo that clung to the boy's long, dyed hair.

What were they going to do tonight...? Did Bill want them to have sex? Or just... another blowjob? It wasn't really what Tom wanted, but he would go along with it anyway; it was a lot better than not being with him at all, and since the kid wanted to move at the speed of a glacier coming down a mountain, Tom would comply.

While he was still considering his next move, Bill's delicate fingers slowly traced up his arm, causing Tom to lift his head and look at him; the boy was staring up with a slightly nervous smile, as his hand eventually reached Tom's shoulder, giving him a gentle push to the side. Tom rolled over to lie on his back, slightly surprised at the change of position; Bill had initially given off the impression that he just wanted to lay there, but apparently not.

After a second of hesitation, the black haired boy leaned over him in a similar fashion to the way Tom had leaned above him earlier, and gave him another unsure glance; Tom just smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way. He didn't know what Bill wanted to do, but they had agreed on just being themselves... This was so weird.

Usually of course he knew what the other person intended, but here everything moved so slowly... With so many questions and shy looks... It was impossible for Tom to determine where they were ultimately headed.

Warily, Bill ran a shaky hand along Tom's sides, and then lowered his head to tentatively kiss his shoulder.

Tom couldn't even remember the last time things had moved so slowly and innocently. He must have been around 13 or so - if ever at all.

But apparently Bill wasn't in a hurry, because he continued his exploring, shy kisses along his collar bone and up to his neck, while his hand became a bit more assertive, groping up and down Tom's chest and side.

Obviously this boy was of the playful kind, because very soon he began to nibble and suck around on his neck; that would so leave a hicky. Damnit. Tom hated it when people left him 'marked', and always told them to make sure not to leave any visible bruises on him, but right now he couldn't be bothered.

~*~

The fact that the hustler's breathing was increasing a bit encouraged him, and the whole sucking-around-thing was actually a lot of fun. The skin of the man's neck was so soft, and Bill loved how it felt against his tongue and lips; it was really different from what he had imagined.

As he lifted his head a bit, he noticed the bruise he had left behind on Tom's skin. It was the first time Bill had ever given someone a love bite; it was actually very fascinting. Especially because the hustler didn't have any others - why not? Did no one else... do that?

Suddenly Bill felt possessive; he wanted all of Tom's other clients to see that he had been there and left his signature on the man's body. Of course he knew how ridiculous it was to feel possessive over someone he was paying to be with, but it didn't stop him from leaving various other decorative bruises on the hustler's neck and chest.

This whole foreplay thing was actually really nice, once he got used to it. At first he hadn't really known what to do, so he just tried to copy whatever it was that the hustler had done earlier, and it turned out that there were quite a lot of fun, nice things to do, and so many new things that were a total mystery to Bill.

This was probably way better than having a boyfriend anyway, because if he did something wrong, it really didn't matter - he was paying for it anyway.

That thought calmed him down a lot because he was always scared to do something wrong; he had overthought the whole sex topic so much that by now it just made him nervous, so being with a hustler was probably a very good option for him.   
Of course that didn't really come close to the way he had always wanted things to go, but obviously his knight in shining armor wasn't showing up, and this was as good as it would get.

~*~

Tom gave a mental groan, half in pleasure half in frustration. What the hell was this crazy kid doing to him? Sure he was used to a bit of foreplay every once in a while - many people liked to nibble around a bit before getting to it, but this boy was on a whole other level. Had he never done this before...? Was there anything this boy _had_ done yet?  
The kid seemed so explorative and curious, and was probably leaving countless bruises all over the place. Wonderful...

But then again, it really was. It was sensual and weird, and completely unlike the usual things Tom was used to, because seriously, who really took the time to do something like this? And he was being paid for it, too... That was just terrible.

Distractedly, he gave a quiet gasp as the boy suddenly raked his teeth over Tom's already sensitive nipple; so much for not liking it rough... He almost had to laugh as he looked down at the boy's intense eyes that were watching him like a hawk. What was he getting himself into here...?

~*~

Bill had never felt so possessive in his life. He was utterly jealous of all the other people this man slept with, and wished he'd be rich enough to book him 24/7 so no one else would be allowed to have him. He wanted to be different than them - be something special so he wouldn't be so easily forgotten again. And he wanted the man's undivided attention which, judging by his earlier gasp and surprised look, he now had.  
This time he'd make sure Tom would remember him.

Surely the hustler would tell him if he was not ok with what he was doing, right?

A bit hesitantly at first, Bill licked down the man's toned stomach, carefully unbuckling his belt as he did so. Would he mind...? Probably not...  
Of course Bill realized this was not exactly the romantic, vanilla sex scene he had originally had in his mind, but that had been before he was actually in the situation. He did still want it to be romantic, but... he was also feeling very possessive and totally turned on, so whatever.

With a careful glance at the older man's reassuring, slightly surprised smile, Bill slowly unbuttoned his jeans, but then paused, not knowing how to continue. Should he just pull his... but that was so awkward... _'Oh my god, what the hell do I do now?!_ ' Bill whined mentally.

~*~

Tom nearly burst out laughing at the boy's panicked expression; he seemed really torn between bold and bashful.  
Having pity on the confused kid, he pulled him back up by his arm, using his other hand to remove his own clothes in the process; this task was obviously something Bill wasn't up to yet, and Tom really didn't want him to feel uncomfortable - at least not more than he obviously did already.  
Having completely forgotten, Tom leaned over to kiss him - because it seemed like the most natural thing at the moment - gently brushing his lips against the boy's, only to remember a second later that the kid had said no kissing. Horrified, he immediately pulled away, cursing himself for messing it up once more, but Bill didn't seem angry; he looked a bit confused and hesitant, but said nothing.

"I'm sorry." Tom apologized earnestly, hoping the boy wouldn't be upset.

"It's ok," Bill mumbled shyly, looking away. Obviously he was too insecure to complain.

~*~

 _'Ok now! Kiss him!_ ' Bill yelled at himself; this was the perfect moment. _'Just do it_!' But he didn't dare. Why was he such a coward?!

 _'No no no no!_ ' Bill cried internally as the hustler turned his head to the side in order to kiss Bill's hand instead; why hadn't he just kissed him?! _'I hate myself._ '

He had just missed the perfect moment - Tom had initiated the kiss, all he had to do was deepen it, but no! It had remained a simple touch to his lips, like all those other kindergarten kisses Bill had had until now. Why?!

With a soft sigh, he leaned closer to the hustler - who was now fully naked, making Bill feel a bit self-conscious - and tried to forget that he had just messed up the perfect opportunity to have a perfect kiss with the most perfect guy in the world. Putting aside the whole prostitute thing, which was not really all that perfect for Bill, but the rest was.

Well whatever. He could do it later, right? With an internal nod, Bill lifted his head again, taking a look at the perfect, naked body of the man lying beside him. He looked just as perfect as he had in Bill's memory, and Bill found himself unable to look away. It had only been two weeks, but to him it seemed like a million years.

Tentatively, he placed his hand against the man's chest, tracing the outlines with his fingers - it was just as fascinating as it had been last time, and soon he felt comfortable enough to kiss it again while the hustler gently stroked through his hair.   
It wasn't long before Bill let his hand travel further down, giving Tom another glance, but the man's head was resting on his arm and he looked perfectly comfortable with the situation; that meant Bill was doing the right thing, right?

Slightly entranced, Bill watched his own hand gliding down the man's stomach until his fingertips nearly brushed against his prominent erection. Swallowing nervously, he looked up at the hustler - should he really just... touch him like that...?

Thankfully, Tom seemed to know how uncomfortable Bill felt, and leaned over to kiss his neck and cheek; why had he told him no kissing? Ugh!  
But at least this encouraged him to continue. Slowly he let his fingers trail farther down, over the velvety skin that covered the firm muscles beneath.

Close to his ear, the hustler let out a ragged breath as Bill slowly wound his fingers around him; that was a good sign, right?   
Since it was soon followed by a soft moan, Bill decided to take that as a _yes_.

Having been encouraged, he gently stroked along Tom's length, similarly to the way he had always done with himself, except maybe a bit more cautiously.

~*~

Obviously Bill was very physical, and responded well to body language – moans and the likes included – so despite Tom actually being very silent in bed, maybe today he needed to voice things a little more since that was better than actually telling the boy what he was doing right and wrong, right? Not that he had done anything wrong, but at least to let him know when what he was doing was very right.

Tom really wasn't very good with telling people whether what they were doing was good or bad, because if it really was bad, he just ignored it – it's not like he would ever be with them again anyway, but with Bill... it was different.  
With Bill he really wanted it to be good. Not that he could imagine anything being bad – anything bad Bill did was probably still pretty good, simply because Tom wanted him so badly.


	14. Chapter 14

Curiously, Bill kissed his way down the hustler’s toned stomach, getting more nervous by the second; he had no idea what he was doing so this was probably a very bad idea, and he desperately tried to remember what the man had done to him last time… What was that again? It had been so good… What the hell had he been doing? Bill had been way too wrapped up in his own pleasure as to pay real attention… Great.

~*~

Tom stared up at the ceiling, fighting an inner battle; the kid’s intentions were quite obvious and Tom really wanted him to go there, except not really because that was just way too wrong. He couldn’t seriously take money _and_ a blow job from a poor college kid whose financial situation was not very easy _and_ who was still a virgin. That was just wrong. Like, really wrong.

‘ _But he’s so hot…’_ Tom whined internally; when would he ever have such a hot virgin giving him head again? The answer was obvious: never. Ever. ‘ _Ugh!’_ Why did he have to have a conscience??

Mentally kicking himself, he pulled the kid back up and pushed him onto his back, roughly biting around on his neck; he was utterly frustrated. Why did he have to be such a nice, considerate person? Why couldn’t he just be a jerk the way he really wanted to be right now?

Maybe he just should have sex with him and get it over with… That way he wouldn’t have to feel guilty, at least. Well maybe a little guilty… Why would he feel guilty about that anyway?!   
Oh right, because Bill was amazingly cute, adorable, hot, innocent and _paying_ for it. Damnit. Whatever. Sex was acceptable. Sex was what Bill wanted, right? Yes, it was. Of course it was, he was paying for that, after all.

Having made up his mind, he reached down to unbutton the kid’s tight jeans and then sat back to pull them down while Bill watched him with a slightly timid expression; his earlier brashness completely gone. Tom made sure not to stare – despite really wanting to – as he crawled back up to him, wishing he were allowed to kiss him; this whole no-kiss thing was seriously crappy because the more he thought about it, the more he yearned to do it.

Deciding they had had enough foreplay for one night, Tom reached down to stroke the boy’s prominent erection, wanting to move along while they still had the time. Bill seemed a bit surprised by the change of situation, but soon relaxed while Tom licked around on his neck, not knowing what else to do with his mouth.

Once Bill was hard enough, Tom grabbed the bottle of lubricant he had left next to the bed earlier and moved further down until he could take the boy into his mouth; he was well aware that the boy was still a virgin – least he had sex in the past two weeks – and he needed to be gentle, so a bit of oral couldn’t hurt.

While Bill moaned quietly somewhere, Tom coated his fingers with the cold gel and then gently rubbed them against the kid’s tender flesh; Bill stiffened immediately, falling silent.   
With an internal sigh, Tom looked over at the clock on the wall that told him they only had 16 minutes left before they had to be down at the reception. Of course under normal circumstances, 16 minutes were more than enough time, but right now he wasn’t so sure; rushing things in a situation like this was generally a very bad idea, and now he also had the problem that he actually cared… If he didn’t, he would just do it, fully knowing it wouldn’t be very good for the other boy… Oh why did he have to care about this kind of thing?!

Despite having been caressing the kid’s tense muscles while sucking him for a few minutes, Bill didn’t seem anywhere near relaxed enough for him to even slide a finger inside him, much less anything else; if they had sex right now, it would be nowhere near good for Bill…

With a quiet sigh, Tom lifted his head again and crawled a bit higher up to look at the boy’s rather tense features.

“Bill?” He asked quietly, waiting for the boy to open his eyes to give him an uncertain glance. “You have… done something like this before, right?”

Bill was about to answer, but Tom interrupted him, wanting to clarify what he was talking about before the kid lied to him again. “I don’t mean sex – I know you’re still a virgin – I meant… other things.”

“What things?” Bill asked awkwardly, looking away from him.

“Well… usually before someone has sex, they experiment around by themselves a little bit. Most people who intend to have anal sex, use toys on themselves beforehand because otherwise their first time is likely to be rather unpleasant.” He couldn’t believe he was actually saying this. “You have done that, right?” There was no way this kid seriously intended to just… do it.

Apparently Bill didn’t know what he meant, because he just blinked at him a bit uncertain.

“Don’t you have a vibrator at home? Or a dildo? Or something?!” Tom asked exasperatedly.

“What?!” Bill almost shrieked. “I-I… um… I’m not really into that…” He mumbled, blushing deeply and looking away again. “That’s kinda why I hired you… I thought you knew what you were doing, so you’d make it pleasant…”

Tom stared at him in disbelief. “It doesn’t work like that.” He said flatly.

“Why not?” This time Bill looked at him directly; he looked confused and sad.

“You can’t just… have sex like that. It’s going to be terrible.” How was he supposed to explain this? And why was there a 20 something year old, gay man, living in America, in the 21st century, with access to the internet, who had no idea about this? Had this kid never done any kind of research on the matter?!

“But people do that all the time,” Bill argued.

“What people? No one does that – and whoever does, has a terrible first time. Your body isn’t used to something like that. You can’t just put things in there and expect it to feel good without any sort of preparation.” Tom argued back, unable to believe he was having this kind of conversation. How had he gotten into this mess…?

“It doesn’t matter… I just want to get it over with, so do it,” Bill mumbled quietly, looking completely humiliated.

“’Get it over with’? This isn’t a prostate exam! You don’t just ‘get it over with’. What’s wrong with you?” ‘ _What’s wrong with me?’_ What did he care if the kid’s first time was miserable? Many people’s were… It wasn’t his job to make sure the boy had a good first time… This was ridiculous…

Bill stared at him, still looking confused and dismayed. “I don’t want to be a virgin anymore,” he finally muttered, sitting up and pulling his knees up to his chest. “Can’t you do the whole… preparing thingy?” He asked even more quietly.

“Um…” Now that was probably the weirdest thing anyone had ever asked him. “It doesn’t work that way, Bill. I’m not talking about the kind of ‘preparing’ you do right before sex, I’m talking about your body generally being used to having sex. That doesn’t work in five minutes. Or five hours… Most of the time not even in five days… Maybe five weeks… Unless you intend to do it rather intensively… But if you actually want it to be good, this is something that requires time… If you don’t get used to it slowly, it will take a very long time for it to feel good which is why it’s a lot better if you play with yourself a little bit before letting someone else on you. Of course it’s not always like that – some people go right ahead and enjoy it, but… given you’re already so tense with just a few superficial caresses, I don’t think you’re one of those people.” He finished quietly, officially ruining his night.

Why was he such an idiot? He could be having sex with a super hot guy right now – for whom it wouldn’t be all that good, but whatever – but of course he couldn’t because he had think of his own first time… It had been awful. And all because he’d been a total idiot who hadn’t known any better and let some guy – who didn’t bother to tell him any of this – take him… Something he still regretted to this day. No, he couldn’t do that to Bill…

“Oh…” Bill mumbled quietly, looking awkward and picking at the dishevelled bedsheets. “Okay.”

Tom sighed again; now what? Should they leave? Their time was almost up – if they weren’t downstairs in a few minutes, they had to pay another hour.

“The hour is almost up,” Tom said as nicely as possible; he’d leave it up to Bill.

“Oh. Yeah,” Bill said quietly, clumsily sliding off the bed and searching for his clothes. So that was it then…

Tom sighed in defeat, doing the same. Well this night hadn’t gone at all the way he had wanted… Maybe he should have gone with what Bill said and ‘just get it over with’.   
But no… Bill was worth a lot more than a lousy hour like that… How could this all be so wrong?

For the first time he truly cared how things went with someone, and they were going so horribly wrong… If they said goodbye now, they would never see each other again. He would lose him… Without ever having had him… And for the first time that bothered him. Never before had he cared whether he saw someone again – even if it hadn’t come to sex for whatever reasons – no one had ever been important enough to be seen again, but Bill… Bill he really wanted to see again. But how?

Without another word, they walked back down to the reception where Bill gave up the key and then headed back outside, searching for a packing of cigarettes; he ended up only finding an empty one, and sighed sadly, tossing it into the trash next to the motel’s entrance.

“You don’t happen to smoke, do you?” He asked with a weak smile.

Tom nodded, searching for his own smokes. “I’m trying to quit, actually.” He chuckled, handing the boy one and taking one for himself.

“How’s that coming?” Bill asked with a sour face.

“Not so good. I take it you’re trying as well?” Tom laughed a bit as he lit both their cigarettes.

“Yeah… Though so far I haven’t made any progress at all whatsoever.” Bill took a deep breath, holding the smoke for a moment before letting it out with a surprised look. “This is really good, what is it?” He asked, eyeing the cigarette.

Tom cursed inwardly; he had completely forgotten that he smoked a brand most hustlers wouldn’t be able to afford. “It’s uh… no idea… something some client gave me.” He shrugged as casually as possible; what kind of a stupid excuse was that? What kind of a client would give a prostitute cigarettes?! _‘Seriously, Tom!’_

“Oh, it’s delicious,” Bill said a bit in awe, savouring the taste.

“Yeah,” Tom agreed, glad that Bill didn’t seem to find this weird at all. “I should get going.” He finally said before he was forced to tell another pathetic lie again.

“Oh. Right.” Bill nodded, looking a bit crestfallen. “Here.” He handed Tom a hundred dollar bill.

“What?” Tom almost laughed. “For what?”

“…You know,” Bill said awkwardly, gesturing around the motel and shrugging.

“I don’t think that was worth a hundred dollars.” Tom chuckled, shaking his head and refusing the money; there was no way he could take that.

“Oh.” Bill looked stunningly sad. “I guess not.” Now what was wrong with him? “I’ll see you around then.” He muttered quietly, giving him another one of those forlorn looks.

Tom had no idea what was going on and had the ridiculous urge to ask ‘you will?’, but ended up just nodding as well. “Yeah, see ya.” He was so confused, though he didn’t dare ask because he was afraid that… something bad would happen. He was terrible with situations like this – not that he had ever been in a situation like this before, but in general – and really just wanted to leave. Well actually no, he didn’t want to leave at all, but what choice did he have?

~*~

Sadly, Bill watched as the hustler walked down the street and eventually disappeared around a corner, leaving him all alone with the freakishly good cigarette. What the hell was that anyway?

After finishing the cigarette, he decided to keep the stub – maybe he could find out what it was – and headed back to his car. This night had been such a disaster… Why hadn’t he just lied so that the man would have had sex with him?   
On the other hand, the man had known he was still a virgin… _‘Duh!’_ Had he seriously thought he could lie to a hustler about that?! Idiot!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! 
> 
> I won't be posting again until next year (most likely after I'm done with King T), so happy new year!


	15. Chapter 15

Bill's sad melancholy had the one upside that he finally managed to give his songs that 'color' they had been missing. Over the next week, he spent most of his free time rewriting and expanding their songs that somehow miraculously fell into place. Their songs had a more dramatic, poetic touch to them, which Bill really liked, making them sound more mature and epic.

"So Bill, did you bring me your CD?" Andreas asked once they were finally done with their shift on Friday evening. He had been asking about it all week already, but Bill had always forgotten.

"I did!" He said enthusiastically, searching for it in his shoulder bag. "Here it is." He handed Andreas the CD, which even had a name already.

"Ah yes, the long awaited CD! Finally it's here!" Andreas said solemnly, waving it around while Bill laughed. "I'm going to listen to it as soon as I get home. Unless... Do we go out for a drink? It's Friday," he pointed out with a bright smile.

"I can't..." Bill said hesitantly. He actually wanted to call Tom and see if they could meet up again. Of course he knew he was being crazy, but now he also knew what he wanted and was ready to squander the little savings he had on it. "Maybe tomorrow?" He asked hopefully; he really liked Andreas and did want to be friends with him... Hopefully he wasn't leading him on?

"Alright, cool. I'll see you tomorrow for the afternoon shift then." Andreas smiled and waved as he got on his Vespa and then drove off into the night.

Bill just nodded, more to himself, torn between excitement over the CD, and slight dejection because the CD was actually not as good as he wished it would be; their songs were so much better now than they had been when they recorded it, so maybe it hadn't been all that wise to give it to him, but he was so impatient and another recording appointment would take another month or longer... Damn his impatience.

Once he finally got home, he immediately went to his room and called Tom: hopefully he wouldn't be busy despite it already being 11:43...

~*~

Utterly bored, Tom watched people dancing, drinking and generally having fun while he moped around in his corner, still sipping the same beer he had ordered an hour ago; it was lukewarm and tasted terrible by now. Gross...   
Every once in a while, a random boy or girl would flirt with him from across the dancefloor, but every time he looked away to indicate he had no interest tonight. He was depressed because he actually wanted to be with Bill, and the fact that it was so angered him beyond reason; that stupid kid was ruining his life.

He had actually come tonight to find a cheap lay, but no matter how many attractive people walked by him, none managed to capture his interest – not even for one night.

Bored and unnerved, he finally downed the remains of his drink and got up, ignoring all the flirtatious winks and smiles he got on the way to the door where the valet finally handed him his keys so he could go home; tonight had been a total waste of time.

Somewhere on the drive home, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he was too annoyed to pick up so he just let it ring – whatever it was, he could deal with it tomorrow.

Finally, at around midnight, he got home, feeling completely exhausted despite not having had a rough day – why was he so tired? He hadn't done anything, or gotten up particularly early... He felt as if he were just tired of life. He wanted something else... But what? Why was he suddenly so unhappy.?

With a heavy sigh, he kicked his shoes off, leaving them lying randomly in the anteroom – something he never did because he was a neat freak – and then headed to the living room to pour himself a drink; he wanted to get wasted and forget about Bill.

While he poured himself a cognac he checked his phone, nearly spilling the entire bottle when he saw the last missed call. It was from Bill! No! Why hadn't he picked up?!

"Damnit," he cursed angrily, leaving the drink forgotten on the shelf to call back; would Bill still be awake? He had called 23 minutes ago...

The phone rang and rang, but Bill didn't pick up – eventually it went to his voicemail. Tom sighed, dropping down on the couch, hating himself. Why did he always do everything wrong with Bill?

The sudden ring of his phone startled him so much he nearly fell of the couch, scrambling over to answer before it stopped ringing – it was Bill!

"Bill, hi!" He answered brightly, wanting to slap himself. 'Pull yourself together, man!'

"Hi!" Bill answered, just as happily. "I thought you might already be sleeping..."

"No. I was just... out," Tom mumbled stupidly; now Bill would probably think he was with someone else... Why did he suddenly have the insane, ridiculous, stupid, retarded desire to tell him he hadn't been with anyone...?

"Oh...Yeah," Bill mumbled quietly.

"I was with a few friends at a party, but it got boring so I left early." What was wrong with him?! Why did he say that?!

"Oh, all right." Bill sounded far happier. That's why he had said it...

"What's up?" Tom continued casually, not wanting to make a big deal out of all this, even though it was. He hadn't really thought Bill would ever call him again after last time.

"Um... Well... I was wondering if you wanted to meet up tomorrow or something...?" Bill asked in his usual, awkward fashion, and Tom had the desire to do a little happydance, but composed himself quickly.

"Sure. At the motel at 11?" He asked casually instead, ignoring the bubbling feeling that was raising in his stomach.

"Yes. I'll see you there," Bill said eagerly, and Tom could picture his shy smile. Damn, he couldn't wait to see him again.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." And with that, they hung up. Tom almost bounced around on his couch. It was disturbing how happy this boy made him... It was so wrong. He didn't want this... He wanted to be his usual self where he didn't constantly have to think about a certain someone who drove him insane...

Besides... What did Bill still want from him? Hadn't they established that Bill should... do certain things first before they had sex...? Had he already...? That was kinda fast... Maybe now they could finally have sex?

He was still half convinced that once he actually took the kid, all his passion and wanton lust would fade away, and he could finally go back to being normal... But did he really want that? The feeling Bill gave him was unlike any he had ever known – it went far beyond excitement, thrill, lust or any desire he may have ever had... It was something entirely different that he had no name for. Or at least not a name he wanted to give it. And the fact that he felt so strongly about it alarmed him – it was just sex. It wasn't meant to mean anything... He didn't want to lose his heart to this. For the first time in his life, he was actually scared of his own feelings. He was scared of what would happen once he actually slept with Bill; it was ridiculous.

But would that even happen...? Or what was Bill's intention for tomorrow?  
The uncertainty thrilled him. Had Bill seriously taken him up on his advice and 'played' with himself a bit? The thought was both arousing and disturbing. Damn Bill.

~*~

Throughout the entire morning, Bill could do nothing but think about Tom the entire time. He was nervous and excited, and barely able to focus on cooking – he had already burnt two dishes.

"What's wrong with you today?" Andreas whispered when they had a moment to breathe between orders.

"I don't know," Bill groaned, running the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead. "I didn't sleep so well... I've been kinda off lately..." It's not like he could tell Andreas about Tom.

"You need to work less and rest more or you'll have burn out syndrome or something like that," Andreas warned, shaking his head. "I listened to your CD, by the way. I love it! I might see my uncle this week – I'll definitely give it to him," he whispered excitedly, just as another batch of orders came in.

Bill just grinned happily, not able to say much since Andreas had to get back to his station and Bill needed to get some cooking done if he wanted to keep his job. If Andreas really managed to get Mr. Trümper to listen to that CD, it would be beyond amazing.

Once his shift was finally over in the afternoon, he went to the bank before going home; Tom was costing him a fortune. So much for fixing his car's radio any time this century... But he was well worth it. Not just because Bill was crazy about him, but also because he inspired his music, and that was worth more than money could buy.

Just like on most days, he took some take-out home from work for the Gs, both of whom were not at home when he got there; great. Bill had actually wanted to throw in an afternoon music session, but obviously that would have to wait.

Instead, Bill busied himself with writing; he had so many feelings and thoughts that he wanted to turn into songs, he didn't even know where to begin. His writer's block was officially over and the words were flowing so easily it amazed him. If only he could always be as inspired as now... They would have five albums already.

It was around dinner when the G's finally knocked on his door, announcing their arrival.

"Hey Bill, can we eat that take-out?" Georg asked, poking his head in through the door.

"Sure, I want some too though." Bill nodded, placing his notes aside to join his mates in the kitchen. "Where were you guys all day?" It was the first time in weeks that Georg had left the apartment; he had missed classes and refused to go anywhere with them.

"Gustav and I went indoor climbing!" Georg announced cheerfully.

"What?! Without me?" Bill pouted as they entered the kitchen. "Gusti! Why didn't you take me too?"

"You had to work. Besides... do you even want to go climbing?" Gustav asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"No, of course not, but I want to be invited," Bill said pointedly.

"All right, we'll invite you next time," Gustav said drily, rolling his eyes.

"Since when are you guys into climbing anyway?" Bill had never known of either of his friends being into that.

"Since now!" Georg pitched in while they heated the food in the microwave. "It was Gusti's idea to cheer me up cuz he's such a nice friend." The bassist grinned, pulling Gus into a tight hug from which he tried to free himself with a few unflattering words that Georg ignored with a laugh.

Bill was just happy Georg was feeling better, so even though Gustav still seemed rather cranky, he said nothing about it. Whatever was bothering Gusti, obviously he wasn't ready to talk about it.

"So how about a movie marathon tonight? I'm all for 'the Godfather'," Georg continued cheerfully.

"Yeah, I'm up for that," Gustav agreed with a nod while they began eating.

"I can't... I'm... doing something," Bill mumbled, receiving a surprised look from both Gs.

"And the streak continues, ladies and gentleman. How long will Bill continue to sneak around before letting us know the truth? Stay tuned for more 'Bill and Andreas: forbidden love at the workplace'."

"Shut up, Georg!" Bill whacked him over the head while Gustav sniggered into his food.

"Oh come on!" Georg laughed, rubbing his head. "When will we ever get to meet the mysterious Andreas? How do you know this guy if you don't have our approval, huh?"

"I don't need your approval to like someone." Bill rolled his eyes, well knowing neither of them would ever approve if they knew who he was truly seeing.

"Yeah, but it would make your relationship so much better if our blessing," Georg kept on teasing, earning another whack on the head.

"We're not in a relationship!" Bill squawked loudly, blushing furiously.

"Uh-huh." Gustav and Georg both rolled their eyes playfully.

"Whatever! I'm going to my room; I need to get ready. Bye." And with that, he stomped away before they said anything to humiliate him further.

Of course he still had plenty of time before he was meeting Tom, but he also needed to get ready. Shower, pick clothes, re-pick clothes again, make up, etc. etc. These things always took a long time.

Would Tom go for it? Would he ask for more money? Would he refuse?   
By the time Bill drove down to the motel, he was a nervous wreck; he couldn't believe he was still coming back to this guy after everything that had happened... Was he falling for Tom...?

No, of course not. He had fallen for him ages ago... This was so bad.


	16. Chapter 16

Just like last time he went to meet Bill, Tom parked a few corners away and then took a cab to the motel. Just like last time, Bill was standing there smoking, and extinguished the cigarette as soon as Tom got out of the car and walked towards him. Just like last time, he looked awkward and anxious.

The sudden realization of how much he had missed that shy smile made Tom highly uncomfortable, but he ignored it and smiled casually. "Hey."

"Hey." Bill smiled in his usual, breathtaking manner.

"Shall we?" Tom headed towards the door, opening it for Bill who apparently already had the key to 'their' room. 483. The number alone made Tom's stomach twist in anticipation.

They entered the room in silence, and Bill locked the door behind them just as Tom shrugged out of his jacket that he placed over the chair, together with the small bag he had brought along.

"What can I do for you today?" On some morbid level, he was enjoying this sick game. It was like some twisted roleplay that Bill didn't know he was part of. Something Tom had never been into being he considered roleplay to be a total waste of time, but somehow this thing he was really into. Probably because it was with Bill...

~*~

"Um..." This was the part Bill had been dreading since he had decided to call Tom again. How was he supposed to explain what he wanted? "Uh... I thought about what you said the other day... Um... You know... About the whole... that stuff..." 'Ugh'. This was not going at all the way it was supposed to go.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "What stuff?"

"You know..." Of course Tom didn't know – he had probably already forgotten that conversation... Great. "About me not being... ready for that?" 'Oh god... worst conversation ever'.

"Oh. Yeah. What about it?" Tom asked calmly, sitting down on the chair, next to that suspicious bag; what the hell was in there?!

"Um... Well..." Bill mumbled awkwardly, looking around the scarce room to avoid looking at Tom. "I thought... maybe... you could take care of that?"

~*~

Tom stared at him in disbelief; was Bill saying what he thought he was saying?

"Um..." Tom began slowly, trying to think of what to say.

"How much?" Bill asked softly, giving him one of those intense, eager looks that made Tom's tummy feel strange.

'Oh god...' Tom groaned in his mind. This was so wrong... He couldn't possibly do this. On the other hand... it was what Bill wanted...

"Hundred an hour." As wrong as this was, he was unable to refuse; he actually wanted this. Of course he had no idea why because it was insane, but lately Bill was what he lived for – this mad game was what he lived for.

Bill smiled, looking both relieved and embarrassed while he searched through his clothes for a hundred-dollar bill which he handed him with an apprehensive look.

Tom nodded, standing up and grabbing the boy's extended hand, using it to draw him closer, and cursing him for the stupid 'no kiss' thing again. How he longed for a kiss right now...

But since that was forbidden, he settled for caressing his cheek while he held him close, inhaling the familiar scent of cigarettes and fruity shampoo; damn he had missed him.   
Bill didn't object the gesture at all, burying his face in Tom's neck and snuggling against him.

~*~

Bill was so glad the hustler had gotten into their game right away; the man was getting so good at it Bill would have bought if he didn't know it was all fake. But he didn't care because Tom made him feel amazing and that was all he cared for. At the end of the day, who really cared that it was all make-believe... For one hour a week he could have what he really wanted, and that was all that mattered.

A bit hesitantly, Bill took a step closer to the bed, pushing Tom along who complied easily, kicking his shoes off before letting himself drop down on the bed. Bill followed his example with the shoes before joining him on the bed where Tom immediately pulled him close again, kissing along his neck while his hands began pushing his clothes up.

Bill sat up a bit to remove his shirt while Tom did the same, at which point Bill pushed him back down into the mattress and prepped himself up on his elbow to lean over him; Tom looked a bit surprised but then smiled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair; how could someone fake smiles like those...?

Brushing the thought aside, Bill continued where he had left off the last time they had been together; all of the bruises he had left there were gone, so he immediately proceeded to retrieve those. Even more so than last time, he wanted to leave his 'territory' marked.

~*~

Tom groaned mentally and grinned up at the ceiling as Bill began biting around on him again; what was up with that kid and biting? At this point he had given up being unnerved at the bruises and simply enjoyed the sensation he knew everyone would see in the morning.

Similar to last time, though slightly more assertive, Bill explored, bit, nibbled and licked his way around the place while Tom steadily grew harder and harder under his playful attention. This was not the way he had thought tonight would play out; wasn't Bill paying him to 'prepare' him? This didn't seem like that at all... Not that Tom minded, of course, but still. Was Bill going to work him up like this until the hour was over and then send him home? With nothing but a lousy hundred dollars? This was pure torture...

Far less hesitant than last time, Bill unbuckled his belt and tugged on the remaining clothes; Tom chuckled softly, pushing them all down and kicking them to the floor while Bill watched him with another one of those hawk-stares. Apparently he still wasn't used to the sight.

"Enjoying the view?" Tom teased lightly, not failing to make him blush as he averted his gaze.

"Yes," he mumbled softly, hesitantly setting his eyes on Tom's; there was still that intensity in them that excited Tom beyond reason and he pulled him close again, lying side by side and running his hand down Bill's side.

"Well you're quite the sight as well," he said with a smirk, letting his eyes roam over Bill's naked upper body; he still hadn't taken a good look at that German tattoo down his side.

It didn't fail to make Bill blush, and he crawled closer, letting his hands roam around Tom's body again, while his face was so close all Tom had to do was move an inch and they would be kissing. Should he dare...?

~*~

Bill's breath hitched in his throat as he looked into Tom's eyes that ghosted over his lips; was he thinking the same as Bill?

Apparently not, because a moment later the hustler turned his head away, busying himself with removing the remains of Bill's clothes. Damn.

With an internal sigh and cursing at his own cowardice, Bill wriggled out of his clothes before crawling back to settle on top of Tom, regaining his earlier eagerness to carry on where he had left off last time.

Tentatively he kissed down Tom's toned stomach, trying not to look too shamelessly at his ultimate destination that seemed to be waiting expectantly for his arrival.   
'There's no need to be nervous... You touched it last time...' Bill tried to encourage himself stupidly, but it didn't keep his hand from trembling slightly as he tenderly wrapped his fingers around Tom's warm erection, drawing a shuddering breath from the hustler.

Once his initial nervousness had passed, Bill's curiosity took over and he rhythmically moved his hand while he settled comfortably between Tom's legs. Would the hustler mind if he...? Well most likely not – what kind of a guy minded that, right?   
At least Bill hoped he wouldn't.

~*~

Tom stared up at the ceiling, unsure what to do right now. The right thing to do was to stop him, but... It's not like he was asking Bill to do this... And the kid had been driving him insane for nearly 40 minutes already! Not counting last time. Tom was more than ready to finally finish even though they hadn't fully started yet. But he couldn't seriously take money from a kid who was giving him a blowjob... that was just wrong. Well so was everything else going on here, but that was more wrong.

"Bill," Tom mumbled incoherently, wanting to shoot himself for stopping him.

"What?" Bill asked warily, stopping all movement immediately.

"Um... shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"Am I doing it wrong?" Bill mumbled awkwardly, giving him an apprehensive look.

"No! Not at all," Tom assured him quickly. "But wasn't this supposed to be about you?" 'I can just go home and masturbate... Not like I have a life or anything,' Tom thought drily.

"Do you not like it?" Bill asked a bit sadly, removing his hands altogether.

"No! I mean yes... No, that's not what I meant." Tom sat up to try and get his point across.

"So you do?" Bill asked curiously, leaning a bit closer again.

"Yes. I just meant that-"

"Good," Bill stated intensely, pushing him back down rather roughly before returning his earlier occupation.

Tom gave up. Mostly because he wanted to and also because he thought it was useless; if this was what Bill wanted, who the heck was he to refuse it?

He took in a sharp breath as Bill's wet tongue suddenly slipped over the tip of his erection while his hand kept stroking him in an even, slow rhythm.   
Just like with foreplay, Bill was slow, explorative and playful in everything he did, torturing Tom to the point that he actually groaned for real; something he usually never had the urge to do.

Similar to their previous encounter, Bill took his sweet time with everything, and it turned Tom on in a way he had never experienced like this. Tom had had a tremendous amount of blowjobs in his life – varying from amazing to rather lousy – but none of them came close to what Bill was doing. Not because Bill had amazing technique or anything – nothing like that – he was in a category all of his own. It was a combination of pace, variety, playfulness and the mere fact that it was Bill.

Despite the painfully slow pace, Tom was gradually drawing nearer and nearer to his climax, wondering if he should warn Bill about it. Earlier he had been unsure whether Bill had ever done this before, but given his lasting curiosity, probably not, so he should probably let him know...

"Bill?" Tom mumbled a bit incoherently, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself.

Bill paused immediately, lifting his head and licking his delicious lips.

"I'm uh..." How did one even say that? Usually he never had to warn anyone, he just... yeah.

Obviously Bill hadn't understood because he was still looking at him with large, innocent eyes. "Yeah?

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm pretty ready so..." Maybe Bill would rather finish this with his hand...

"Oh, already?" Bill asked a bit surprised.

"A-already?!" Tom asked in disbelief. "Bill, we've been here for... at least two hours." This had definitely been the longest blowjob of his life – how was Bill's jaw not sore yet?

"I know. It's fine, can stay longer." Bill smiled softly.

"Um... okay but..." It's not like Tom didn't have enough 'endurance' when it came to sex, but he did have his limits at some point and Bill was coming pretty close to those – especially because what he did and who he was turned Tom on so much. Maybe under normal circumstances it would have been slightly different, but given he had been yearning for this kid for around three weeks during which he had barely gotten any, he was coming to his closing point.

~*~

Bill nodded in understanding, lowering his head and continuing with what he was doing; Tom was probably just tired. Who knew how often he had already had sex today...   
The thought really bothered him, but there wasn't anything he could do about it so he just continued sucking around on him, wondering what it would be like when he climaxed. He had thought about it very often in the past few years and always wondered if he would be grossed out or not; sometimes he thought he would be, but at other times not. Right now it didn't bother him at all – on the contrary; he was curious about it.

"Bill," Tom interrupted him again with a hand on his arm. "You don't have to swallow that." The hustlers voice sounded strained, but Bill ignored him; he would decide that later.

With a few more shuddering breaths, Tom's body tensed underneath him as he climaxed, filling Bill's mouth with a warm substance that he instinctively swallowed before choking on it. It came in various waves and he had to swallow a few times before it was all gone and before Tom's body calmed down a little; it was far less of a big deal than he had always thought it would be. It tasted kind of unusual, not really comparable to anything he knew, but not unpleasantly so; not that it tasted amazing, but not bad either.

Licking his lips, he slowly sat back up, looking down at the hustler who lay motionless on the bed, his eyes closed and breathing heavily.

Now Bill was at a loss of what to do; was he allowed to lay down next to him or had they leave immediately?

Given he was paying, he decided to go with what he wanted, and lay down next to him, watching his features for any sign of rejection that never came.

Tom sighed deeply, rolling a bit to the side to face him and then opened his eyes, smiling faintly. "You know... that's not how it's supposed to go." He chuckled a bit.

Bill chuckled too, shrugging. "I'm the customer."

Tom gave a throaty laugh. "Yes, exactly."

~*~

Bill just smiled that shy smile again and it took all of Tom's self-restraint not to lean over to kiss him. Instead, he sat up and ignored the dejected look on Bill's face; he knew what Bill wanted but refused to give it. Cuddling after sex was just something he didn't do, not even for money. Not even for someone like Bill... Mostly because he was scared of how it would make him feel.   
He had written off sex with Bill, so this was as far as they would go – he was done here.

"We should get going," he said casually, feeling a bit lightheaded as he got up to put his clothes on.

Bill just nodded, getting dressed as well before handing Tom the hundred-dollar bill that he had dropped somewhere.

"Are you kidding?" Tom laughed, shaking his head; he didn't want the kid's money. He didn't want anything at all from him anymore.

Bill said nothing, just put the bill in his hand and then walked downstairs; he looked miserable.

Tom shook his head – this wasn't his fault. The boy had come to him. None of this was his fault. If the kid wanted to be miserable about something as ridiculous as sex, whatever. Not his problem.

In silence, Tom followed him downstairs where Bill paid the extra two hours and then headed outside to smoke. Tom decided not to no matter how much he yearned for a cigarette right now; he couldn't wait to get out of here and back to his life.

"Cigarette?" Bill offered with one of his sad, shy smiles that suddenly made Tom feel extremely uneasy.

"No, thanks. I have to go. But I have something for you," he said casually, handing Bill the paper bag.

"Oh?" Bill asked curiously, taking the bag and wanting to open it.

"Open it at home. I'll see you around." Even though he said it, he had no intention to ever come back here or see him again.

"Okay... Thanks." Bill smiled again. "I'll see you around."

~*~

Even though tonight had not ended the way Bill had wished, he couldn't wait to see him again. Maybe next time things would progress a bit again?


	17. Chapter 17

Angrily, Tom slammed the door to his apartment. Why was he so upset? He should feel triumphant, shouldn't he? Bill was finally out of his system. Wasn't he...?

If he was, then why was he feeling like this?

Never in his entire life had he felt so desolate. He felt shallow and empty, as if someone had ripped a part of him away, but he had no idea which part. What was happening to him? Was this part of his earlylife crisis? Maybe he should seek out a therapist...

He felt as if his entire life were falling apart and there was nothing he could do about it. As if everything he had ever thought he wanted and needed, turned out to have been wrong. He had always been so carefree, easygoing and mostly satisfied with his life, but now... now he felt as if it were all irrelevant and he was missing the most essential piece but couldn't recognize which one it was. And without that piece, the rest made no sense either.

~*~

Exhausted, Bill dropped down on his bed that night, staring up at the ceiling. Things had actually gone the way he had wanted, so why was he not feeling good about it?

Oh right, because he was in love with a hustler who couldn't care less about him... But maybe he could change it? After all, there was a person behind the hustler, who also had to have feelings of some kind, right? Maybe he would gradually manage to uncover those... He just needed to be patient.

Nodding at himself, Bill sat cross-legged on his bed and opened the bag that contained a small, black-red box. Curiously, he opened it and gave a quiet shriek; inside was a small, green vibrator shaped like a caterpillar It had a smiley face... And there was a handwritten note next to it.

Hi!  
I'm Paul   
I want to be your friend  
Play with me!

Bill stared at the note, torn between shock and amusement.

Very hesitantly, he took the vibrator out of the box to inspect it closer. He had never actually held a sex toy before. It was quite small, with a smooth surface and black base.  
Bill swallowed drily, putting it back into the box and stuffing it into the bag, only to notice something else inside: another box. Oh great.  
He took out the other box that had another note taped to it.

Use me first

Bill opened the box that contained a purple bead chain... Was this what he thought it was...?!  
The first two beads were very small; the next two slightly bigger, about as thick as his fingers; the next two another bit bigger; and so on, ten beads in total, with the last two being about as thick as Paul.

It actually seemed like a very good way to get... started. Weren't it for the fact that Bill would really prefer Tom to do that, rather than a toy... Of course the toy would be way cheaper... But he was so not ready to play with this, no matter how cute they looked and no matter how turned on he still was from the events of the earlier night.

Instead, Bill jerked off like normal people, took a shower and then went to bed. Paul would have to wait. A very long time.

Bill's week continued normally, taken up by classes, an exam he nearly failed, music, and cooking at the Koi. The only thing he was doing was waiting for the weekend so he would get his paycheck on Friday and could squander it on Tom on Saturday... This was what his life had been reduced to.  
Maybe he really should take a closer look at Paul...

~*~

Lazily, Tom nibbled around on a pencil, avoiding the pile of work on his desk. He'd had a terrible week and couldn't wait for the weekend to roll around so he could go out, get wasted and fuck someone.

Thank god it was Friday evening already, so he just had to wait a few more hours before he could leave; of course he could also leave right now, but some of his staff was still there and he hated leaving before them.

David knocking pulled him out of his dreary thoughts that had still been revolving around that damned kid.

"You got a moment?" David asked as he walked in.

"Not really. What is it?" Tom asked crankily.

"I know you've been having an awful week and you're sulking around because you can't accept the fact that you're in love with-"

"One more word and you're fired," Tom interrupted him calmly. "What do you want?"

"I got a CD you should listen to." David placed the CD on his desk. "They're good."

"Fine." Tom nodded, waving him away dismissively. "Go home and tell the others to leave too, I'm tired."

"Tired as in you want to go to bed kind of tired, or tired you want to go get laid kind of tired?"

"Get out!" Tom said loudly, throwing the CD at him.

David laughed quietly, closing the door as he left.

With a groan, Tom got up to retrieve the CD he had thrown; the case was broken and the CD lay scattered across the floor. Whatever... It was probably crap anyway, like 99,9% of the things that landed on his desk.

Rolling his eyes, he threw the CD and its case into the trash. Just as the trash lid shut, he saw the cheap, paper cover that showed the album name. Room 483. Surely he had misread.

Slowly he opened the trash lid again; he hadn't misread. The cover read Tokio Hotel Room 483.

"Ugh," Tom groaned, letting the lid shut again. Now that was even haunting him at work! Was there no place where he wasn't forced to think about Bill? Or the damned room they met in?!

Rolling his eyes, he stalked out of his office, slamming the door so loudly it echoed through the mostly empty halls of the building. Most people had already gone home, and the few who were still around made sure to stay clear off his path as he stalked down to the lobby, glaring at anyone who dared to look at him.

He cursed the day he had ever laid eyes upon that flustered kid.

~*~

"Hey Bill, wait!" Andreas called just as Bill was about to get into his car to go home. "I'm meeting up with a few friends, do you want to come?"

Bill really didn't but was afraid if he said no again, Andreas would stop asking. "Sure. Where at?"

"The same place we went to last time. Right around the corner." Andreas pointed in the direction.

"Oh, cool. Let's go then." They left their vehicles parked at the Koi and headed towards the bar where they were soon met by a group of four other guys.

"We actually want to go dancing – you guys up for it?" One of them, Bill couldn't remember his name, asked them.

Bill didn't really dance.

"Sure, let's go!" Andreas agreed immediately, dragging Bill along with them. This really wasn't the kind of night Bill had had in mind; he was tired and just wanted to call Tom...

But that didn't happen because they took a cab to a very noisy club. Bill wasn't really the clubbing kind and felt very out of place, but it was too late to go back now, so he ordered himself a cocktail.

It was the first time Bill had ever gone to a gay club, and was slightly overwhelmed by all the guys randomly making out on the dancefloor. Of course he knew places like this existed – he had seen them in movies – but he hadn't really thought it was like that where he lived... On the other hand, he lived in LA, so... duh.

"Come dance with us!" One of Andreas' friends called at him, but Bill just smiled, shaking his head and pointing at his drink. The guy shrugged, disappearing into the crowd.

Bill sighed, standing in a corner, feeling somewhat sad for reasons he couldn't explain. Sometimes he wished he could enjoy this kind of thing, but it just wasn't his... Though maybe he should try? Maybe he should get drunk, dance around like an idiot and make-out with the next best guy like everyone else here seemed to do...

Making up his mind, he downed his drink in one large gulp and then weaved through the thick, dancing crowd towards Andreas' bleached hair that stuck out easily in the dark crowd.

"Hey Bill! There you are." Andreas grinned, grabbing his hands and starting to dance with him. Bill had never really danced before and felt extremely awkward.

"Drink?" One of their friends offered Bill a sip from his glass.

Bill nodded, taking a large gulp and coughing a bit; what the hell was that guy drinking?! He much preferred soft, fruity cocktails...

However, a few minutes later, he had recovered from the strong drink and took another few swigs, soon feeling the effect of the strong drink that made dancing so much easier.

Getting lost in music and alcohol, Bill moved deliriously in a mass of grinding bodies, not really paying attention who he was dancing with; most of the time it was Andreas, who was unusually close and had his hands on Bill's hips... Why was he doing that? Bill was confused but happily drunk so he didn't care.

Lasciviously, he wrapped his arms around Andreas' neck, pressing their bodies together; Andreas wasn't really what he wanted, but he was feeling lonely and Andreas was here... And he was drunk... So who cared... He could pretend it was Tom...

Andreas rested their sweating foreheads together, pulling them another inch closer. Bill could smell the alcohol from his breath, and it was intoxicating. Dizzily he opened his eyes but Andreas was too close for him to be able to focus on right now; were they going to kiss? Bill really wanted to... He just didn't want to kiss Andreas... But whatever.

Just as he was about to close his eyes again and lean in another inch to kiss him, he suddenly saw...

"Gustav?!" Bill said loudly, pulling back from Andreas, suddenly completely sober.

"What?" Andreas asked confused, looking around, but Bill was already halfway across the dancefloor. Surely he had seen wrong...

No... he hadn't. There was Gustav. Dancing around with a bunch of people Bill had never seen before. Why was Gustav dancing? Gustav didn't dance... Gustav was so...so Gustav. And here?!

"Gustav?" Bill asked as he reached him.

Obviously Gusti hadn't seen him earlier because he stopped dancing immediately, staring at him with wide eyes. "Bill! What are you doing here?" He asked over the loud sound of music.

"I'm gay. What are you doing here?" Bill asked incredulously.

Gustav looked extremely awkward, and some of his friends seemed to have noticed because they were giving him curious looks. "Um... I'm just dancing..." Gustav finally mumbled. "Something you've never been into, so what are you doing here?" He demanded.

"Um..." He was here with Andreas... But he couldn't tell him that because if he did, he would want to meet him and then he'd be screwed... "Celebrating a friend's birthday," Bill lied stupidly.

Gustav obviously knew he was lying, but nodded. "Me too," he said, just as stupidly.

Bill nodded. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, later," Gustav agreed.

'Aaaaaawkward', Bill thought as he walked back to his own dancing spot. Who'd have thought Gusti was gay... Why hadn't he ever said anything? They had known each other for so many years but Gus had never even implied it... Bill felt strangely betrayed.

On the other hand, Gustav was very introverted and generally kinda shy, so maybe he just wasn't ready for anyone to know. Bill was totally different in that sense – the whole world knew he was gay and he preferred it like that. But of course he understood that not everyone felt that way, and he would respect Gusti's privacy on the matter.

Seeing Gustav had, however, sobered him enough to not make the huge mistake of kissing Andreas, for which he was eternally grateful.

"I'm super tired, I'm going to go home," Bill announced once he got back to his circle of friends.

"Do you want me to accompany you?" Andreas offered immediately, but Bill shook his head.

"Don't worry, I'll take a cab. I'll see you on Monday." He really didn't need any alone time with Andreas after that dancing session... How was he going to explain to him that he didn't want anything from him...?

"Are you sure?" Andreas asked as they walked to the door.

"Absolutely." Bill nodded firmly.

"All right... I'll see you Monday." Andreas waved as Bill left to find a cab.

Tonight had definitely been weird, but led to the result that he now knew that Gustav had a whole other life no one knew of, and Bill didn't want to kiss Andreas. Or any other guy for that matter. Aside from Tom obviously... He came to the conclusion that this whole casual thing wasn't his after all, and he really just wanted to be in a relationship... With a hustler... Great. How was he supposed to win a hooker's heart? He didn't have enough money for that...

For the first time in his life, Bill wished he would become famous because of money. If he had enough money, he could have Tom... Right? Unless, of course, Tom wasn't into him at all... Had he always been faking it? All of it? Even those rare, tender smiles?

If it hadn't already been 3am, he would have called the hustler, but as it were, he decided to do it tomorrow.

Completely beat and confused, Bill fell asleep that night, his dreams filled with disturbing images of a dancing Gustav, and... Tom and Andreas having sex. Worst nightmare ever.


	18. Chapter 18

Saturday after breakfast, Bill decided to clean up his room, since he didn't have to work today. He was totally hungover from yesterday, and really just wanted a calm day during which he would eventually call Tom. But it was still too early for that... How long did Tom sleep? He usually... worked late so he'd probably not be up before lunch, right?

Sighing, Bill stuffed all his clothes back into his tiny closet that was way too small for all of them. He needed a bigger closet... And more clothes... But of course that was out of the question because he was beyond broke – he didn't even know how to pay next month's groceries... Maybe he could ask his parents for something...? Ugh, he hated asking his parents for money... They always wanted to know about his grades and he generally avoided that.

Sweeping all the dustbunnies out from under his bed, he came across the paper bag containing... Paul. Hesitantly, he opened the bag, taking out the small box with the silly note.   
He decided to leave cleaning for later and unpacked the toy, turning it over in his hand. It was small and adorable, and not at all the kind of toy Bill would have ever bought. Not that he would have bought any at all, but IF, then certainly not one with a cute smiley... It was just wrong to put poor Paul up his... No way.

Bill shook his head in disbelief; what had Tom been thinking by giving him this?! Sure it was funny but... was he seriously supposed to use that...? Despite it being quite small, Bill wasn't sure he was comfortable with that size; though Paul was very short, he was a bit too... thick for Bill's taste.  
Of course there was also that bead chain... But...

Bill looked into the bag suspiciously. The bead chain was a lot better... It was far more neutral. Maybe he should... No. What was he thinking!

Shaking his head again, he turned his attention back to Paul. Carefully he turned the base, causing the toy to begin vibrating softly; seriously? Tom had already included the batteries?! Bill shook his head once more, though he was strangely intrigued. Apparently Paul had 8 different vibrations, ranging from very soft to very strong. He even had a 'turbo' button... Well that was just wrong.

Just as Bill was about to turn Paul off to put him away again, Gustav suddenly opened the door, startling Bill so much he dropped the vibrator that rolled around the floor, making weird vibrating sounds.

Gustav had his mouth open, apparently with the intention to say something, but ended up just staring at the green toy. "I... uh..." He stuttered, finally tearing his eyes away from it and looking at Bill. "Lunch is ready," he finally brought out, shutting the door firmly.

"Oh god," Bill whispered into the empty room, closing his eyes and wishing he could die right now. Gustav must think he's a total perv... Wonderful.

After a few seconds of being utterly embarrassed, Bill quickly grabbed Paul to turn him off and hide him before making his way into the kitchen where the Gs were already eating lunch. Gustav avoided looking at him, and Bill avoided looking at Gustav.

"Is everything okay?" Georg asked after a few silent moments of awkward lunch.

"Fine," Gustav and Bill said in unison, freaking Georg even more out.

"Okay then..." He said slowly, shrugging.

The quick lunch passed in total silence, and as soon as he was done, Bill returned to his room with the excuse that he needed to keep cleaning.

'Most embarrassing lunch ever!' He couldn't believe Gustav had just seen him with a sex toy... So awkward!

Bill spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning his room and rearranging all his music notes that were a total mess, before sitting down next to his bed to try and write a bit, but it wasn't progressing as well as he had hoped. He missed Tom and really wanted to talk to him... Yes, talk, not just screw around... Damn.

But it was exactly that desire that kept him from calling because, let's face it, Tom was a hooker and had no interest whatsoever in actually talking to him... That, and Bill was totally broke already.

With a heavy sigh, he picked up the phone and stared at his dad's number. Should he call? It's not like his dad wouldn't give him any money, right? His parents, despite not having a lot of money, had always given him what they had if he needed it... Of course now he didn't actually need it and just wanted to squander it on a prostitute... Oh god, if his parents knew...

"Hello?" His father's voice answered after just two or three rings.

"Hey!" Bill greeted cheerfully, not wanting his parents to know how bad he was feeling.

"Hey Bill! How're things? You haven't called in such a long time – we were considering calling you, but we know how busy you are and how you always ignore our calls," his father said snidely; of course his parents knew that.

"Sorry! I've just been super busy. Music, work, school, you know," Bill made up excuses right away.

"How's school coming?" His dad asked right away.

"We've got finals coming up so I've been studying all the time," Bill lied shamelessly; ok, fine, so finals really were coming up, but he hadn't spent a single minute even thinking about it... That was Tom's fault. "So I haven't been able to take a lot of shifts at the diner..." Bill continued hesitantly.

"Oh, shall we send you some money? You know that working in that diner is a waste of time, just like that little music thingy – you should really concentrate on school, Bill!" His father said sternly.

Bill rolled his eyes, glad his father couldn't see him. "Yes, I know, and I've been working so hard this semester... It would be really great if you could send me some, so I don't have to work so much." He was such a bad son...

"Of course! I'll transfer something tomorrow and you'll have it in just a few days!" His dad continued brightly.

Despite feeling super guilty, Bill was glad he had gone through with this; it was the only way to see Tom again...

After conversing a bit with his mother and assuring her that he was eating well, washing his laundry and studying all the time, he finally hung up to join Georg for the last season of Band of Brothers that Georg was still watching.

Gustav wasn't there, thank god.

Bill decided to call Tom later in the evening – maybe they could arrange to meet next week? Now that Bill was getting some money...

~*~

Lazily, Tom watched a pair of girls who danced a bit away from the bar, in a rather tantalizing fashion; he knew they were doing it for him because they kept looking over and smiling so obviously it almost bored Tom. Why was there no challenge anymore these days?

Whatever.

Downing the remains of his drink, he got up to join them so he'd have something to bang that night, but before he reached, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Under normal circumstances he would have ignored it, but given he wasn't even sure if he was interested in those girls, he pulled it out to check who bothered him on a Saturday night.

The display read 'Bill'.

"Damn kid," Tom cursed under his breath, stuffing the phone back into his pocket; Bill was the last person he wanted to see right now. Well actually he was the only person he wanted to see, but he was unwilling to accept that so he ignored it.

"Hey there," one of the girls leered at him as he finally approached them; maybe they could take his mind off Bill for a night.

But no matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the sexy girls dancing around him and groping him all over the place, he simply wasn't feeling like it. Maybe he wasn't drunk enough.

"I'll get us something to drink," he announced randomly, detaching his neck from one of the girls' mouths. She better not have left a hicky... Like Bill did...

'Ugh. Pull yourself together!' Tom slapped himself mentally on the way to the bar where he encountered David.

"Hi, boss," David greeted as he reached him.

"Hey," Tom grumbled darkly. "What are you doing here?" He had totally forgotten that David had pointed out earlier he would be coming here.

"I'm here with Linda." David jerked his head towards the dance floor where Tom saw his assistant's wife; who the hell went dancing with their wife?! Seriously...

"Right," Tom grumbled, rolling his eyes while he waited for the busy bartender to take his order.

"Found your company for tonight?" David grinned, looking at the two girls waiting for Tom who sighed.

"I don't know... It'll probably be super boring."

"Oh yeah. Having your dick sucked by two hot girls can be so boring," David said drily.

Tom gave him a disapproving look, but didn't know what to say because despite David having been sarcastic, he was right – that really did get boring after a while. Or at least the thought bored him to death right now.

"What's wrong with you?" David returned his attention to Tom after the barkeeper had taken his order, whilst ignoring Tom completely.

"I'm still in a midlife crisis," Tom resented sadly, not caring that he sounded miserable and pathetic - David had seen him on worse days anyway.

"So buy a sports car and fuck a hot, 18-year-old bimbo like every normal guy who has a midlife crisis," David rolled his eyes, obviously not very compassionate for Tom's problem. "Oh wait... That's your ordinary life, never mind." David shook his head.

Tom wanted to punch him in the face; David was the only person he could sort of talk to. "You're not helping me."

David turned to look at him with a weird expression. "You want my help? Here's my advice: given your life, maybe you should do it the other way around."

"Do what the other way around?" Tom asked confused.

"Well you know... normal guys buy sports cars and screw young bimbos while in a midlife crisis to fill the empty void of unfulfilled fantasies and things they think they missed in life, but maybe that is your void. And maybe in order to fill it, you should settle down, get married and have kids," David reasoned logically.

Tom stared perplexed at him for a moment before bursting out with laughter. "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard."

David rolled his eyes, taking his drinks. "Whatever. Good luck." And with that, he walked away to his wife while Tom watched him, unable to believe his friend had been serious.

"Hey wait!" Tom called after him, forgetting all about the drinks he had wanted to order a minute ago. "That would never work!" He accused as he reached David and Linda.

"How would you know?" David demanded.

"What wouldn't work?" Linda asked over the loud music.

"Tom's got a silly midlife crisis because he suddenly came to the mind-blowing realization that meaningless sex and endless parties aren't as fulfilling as he initially thought," David filled his wife in, who nodded understandingly.

Tom wanted to kick him.

"So I thought maybe he should give something else a try – like a relationship. Or marriage... Kids..." David continued.

"Kids?" Linda raised an eyebrow at Tom. "I thought you hated children because they are the spawn of Satan, designed to chain you to a woman you don't care about and ruin your life forever by plunging you into an endless abyss of misery, poverty and despair."

Tom gave David a dry look.

"I may have rephrased your words a little." David shrugged.

"A little?" Tom almost laughed.

David shrugged again. "I figured that's what you were trying to say but couldn't find the right words." The man was actually right with that, surprisingly enough.

"Anyway," Tom decided to ignore this whole thing. "It's a stupid idea and it would never work!"

David just shrugged once more. "Then go screw those two girls who are still waiting for you over there." He gestured towards the girls Tom had been dancing with.

So not what he wanted right now. But of course he had no idea what he wanted, so he walked away without another word, suddenly angry at David for reasons he couldn't explain. It's not like marriage and kids was something he wanted... But... maybe something else? Like... Bill.

Even angrier than before, Tom stormed out of the club, stomping down the street towards his car, nearly running a few people over. Stupid David... And stupid Bill. And stupid himself for not knowing what was wrong with him or what he wanted.

Should he call Bill...? He really wanted to... But if he did, he would be all hooked on him anyway... Though maybe he was hooked on him anyway...

~*~

Bill sighed sadly, switching his phone off once he'd crawled under the covers. It was already in the middle of the night and it was obvious Tom was busy. Screwing someone... Stupid Tom. Bill hated being poor... If he were rich enough, he would have booked Tom for the rest of eternity so no one else would be able to have him...

'Damn, I'm selfish... Whatever,' Bill thought sleepily, yawning again while his thoughts began revolving around the CD he had given to Andreas the other week; had he already given it to his uncle? Would his uncle be able to pass it on to Mr. Trümper?

Up until recently, Bill had really just wanted to become famous because he wanted to make a difference, but now... Now the only thing he could think about was the money that would enable him to be with Tom. What had his life come to!


	19. Chapter 19

Tom waited impatiently while Bill's phone rang, but there was no answer and eventually it went to his mailbox. Unwilling to leave a message, he hung up. Had Bill gone to bed? Damnit, he should have picked up earlier when the kid had called...

Unwilling to admit just how disappointed he was, he went back to the club. Whatever; he would just screw those two girls. Consolation prize.

It took Tom another eight strong drinks to actually be able to go through with it, and by the end of the night he came to the pathetic realization that he had only forced himself into it because he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't pining after some stupid kid. Some stupid kid who was beyond loveable, adorable, cute, shy, awkward and completely breathtaking and enthralling.

It was almost 5am by the time he finally got home, and staggered into his own bed deliriously, hating himself for the night he had had and wishing Bill were there to give him a hug.

'Ew, what's wrong with me?' He thought disgusted at his own pathetic thoughts.

Eventually he decided to blame his ridiculous feelings on the large amounts of alcohol that ended up making him vomit all over the carpet next to his bed. Wonderful. This was all Bill's fault.

~*~

The first thing Bill did the next morning after waking up, was checking his phone; as always, with the secret hope that the hustler had called. Unlike on most days, however, the man really had called.

Ecstatic, Bill was about to call him back, only to realize the call had come in very late and Tom was probably still sleeping. It would have to wait until later. Much later because he had the lunch shift at the Koi today. And as always, he was late.

Rushing through his morning routine in a happy frenzy, Bill only arrived 13 minutes too late.

"There you are," Andreas whispered with a laugh. "I covered for you and told Li Jing you were smoking, so hurry up with those orders!"

"Thanks," Bill laughed, grateful Andreas hadn't taken it hard that he had left so suddenly the other night.

The orders soon began to pile up as Sunday lunch rush rolled around, and for a few hectic hours Bill managed to forget about Tom. Unfortunately, it wasn't for very long because by the time 4pm rolled around and the customers had thinned out, Bill managed to take a smoking break.

Andreas soon came out to join him. "How's things?"

"Stressful. I should be studying but haven't done anything at all. I feel so guilty," Bill whined sadly. "My parents are going to kill me."

"Oh come on, you're an artist! You should be creative and not wasting your talent with rubbish such as school." Andreas grinned brightly.

"That's exactly what I always tell my parents! But sadly they don't see it like that," he added with a sigh.

At that very moment, Li Jung suddenly opened the back door to the kitchen to let Georg and Gustav out. "There he is. Smoking again..." She shook her head before going back into the kitchen while the G's came over.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Bill asked surprised.

"We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd drop by to see how you were doing," Georg said brightly. "And who's this?" He asked innocently, looking at Andreas with a broad smile.

"Oh, this is my friend, Andreas. Andy, these are my roommates, Georg and Gustav," Bill introduced before realizing what was happening.

"Oh, Andreas! So nice to finally meet you," Georg grinned wickedly, shaking his hand. "Bill talks about you all the time!"

Bill almost had a heart attack. How could he have forgotten about that?! He had told the Gs he'd been going out with Andreas instead of Tom!

"Really?" Andreas asked a bit flustered, giving Bill a surprised look.

Bill just laughed awkwardly, trying to hide his horror.

"Oh yes," Georg continued wisely. "You should come over to our place sometime."

Bill wanted to die. This couldn't be happening!

"I'd love that!" Andreas said enthusiastically.

"Yes yes, that would be awesome. But you guys need to go because we have to get back to work!" Bill began shoving Georg out of the parking lot since Li Jing didn't like it when they walked through the kitchen.

"All right, all right," Georg laughed.

"Bye! Nice meeting you!" Andreas called after them with a laugh.

"Yes, bye!" Bill also called at his waving friends.

Georg was grinning widely while Gustav had said and done nothing at all, walking passively next to the other G until they disappeared behind the corner.  
This was a disaster.

"I'm sorry about that," Bill apologized awkwardly, but Andreas just laughed.

"No worries. I really should be getting back in – I still have a few dishes to wash before dinner." He smiled reassuringly as he walked back in while Bill searched for another cigarette. How was he supposed to quit smoking with this stress?!

~*~

Tom yawned tiredly, looking up at the clock hanging above his desk. It was only 7:14pm... He was so bored and tired and in such a crappy mood, he wished he could sleep until next year. He was hungover so he had gone to the office to hide since it was Sunday and the place was deserted. It's not like he had anything better to do than work on a Sunday... Maybe he should find a new hobby?

Not that he really had any hobbies to begin with, unless sex with strangers counted as one, but that one was beginning to bore him lately. What did other people do in their spare time? Play golf? Collect stamps?

'Yeah, like that'll ever happen...' He thought drily; the mere thought made him want to fall asleep.

Perhaps he should go on a holiday... Get out of the city a bit... Change of scenery... Maybe David had had a point? Perhaps he should find something a little more...boring?  
Of course not as ridiculous as kids and marriage, but maybe a holiday in the countryside? Just to get away from all the city stress, work, girls, parties...Bill...

Just at that moment, his phone rang, startling him a little. It was Bill.   
Maybe he should stop this ridiculous game and tell Bill who he truly was and ask him to come away for a week in the country with him...

"Hello?" He answered as passively as possible.

"Hey! It's Bill!" Bill said happily; as if Tom wouldn't have his number saved or wouldn't be able to recognize that amazingly sexy voice anywhere, anytime...

"Hey. How's it going?" Should he truly ask about the holiday thing...? Would that be creepy? He didn't even know Bill... And he had never actually gone on a holiday like that before... To a romantic, secluded getaway in the country... Just the two of them... Alone...

"Great! I'm sorry I missed your call last night. I was already sleeping," Bill pulled Tom out of his petty fantasies.

"No worries," Tom assured him casually.

"So um... I was wondering if you wanted to meet up? Maybe today? If you have time? Or some other day if you're busy..." Bill's earlier cheery voice had turned to awkward again, making Tom grin. Even after such a long time, the poor boy was still flustered to request Tom's services.

"I have time today." Though he always tried to tell himself that Bill wasn't what he wanted while the kid wasn't around, it was impossible to deny his yearning while actually speaking to him. He felt like a junky trying to get clean but unable to because someone kept offering him a free dose.

"Great! At what time?" Bill asked relieved.

"How about right now?" Tom asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. Now that he was talking to Bill, he couldn't wait to see him again. It had been forever since their last encounter...

"Right now is great! A-at our usual spot?" Bill asked shyly.

"Yeah. I'll be there in 30." It was a bit away from his office and he didn't want to keep Bill waiting.

"Okay. I'll see you then!" Bill said happily, hanging up immediately.

~*~

Bill nearly tripped over his own feet as he rushed into the bathroom. 30 minutes! He had just come back from work and he smelled like grease and Chinese food! And he looked like crap! His hair was a mess and his fingernails needed redoing. Not to mention his make-up! And clothes! What was he going to wear?! There was no way he could be ready in 30 minutes... And it was a 10 to 15-minute drive!

Hysterically he rushed through the shower and tried to find some decent clothes. This was not going at all well. And his nails would have to wait cuz there was just no time for that. He barely had enough time to throw on some rather badly done make-up, but he just afford to be elaborate right now.

As he rushed out of his room, he nearly smashed into Gustav who came out of the living room, almost killing them both.

"Hey. Where are you off to? Date?" Gustav asked curiously, eyeing him.

"Yes, yes... With Andreas," Bill lied shamelessly; too late now.

Gustav nodded slowly. "Have fun."

"Thanks," Bill grinned, rushing out the door and running down to his car. He was way late.

~*~

Since Bill wasn't there yet upon his arrival, Tom decided to put the time to good use and smoke. He had been smoking a lot more than usual lately, despite his intention to quit. Lately, he didn't seem to be very strong when it came to these things; he was as addicted to cigarettes as he was to Bill... When had he become so weak of will? Wasn't he once a very determined person? What had happened to that? What was Bill doing to him?!

Just before Tom finished his cigarette, Bill's car suddenly drove into the small parking lot so fast that he nearly drove into the trash can. Tom chuckled quietly as he saw Bill's panicked face at nearly hitting the large, iron bin, but he soon got over it and parked his car in the mostly empty space; there weren't a lot of customers at this early time of day.

Tom quickly disposed his cigarette as Bill approached, not wanting to explain why he was smoking that brand again.

"Hi," Bill greeted, smiling with that shy yet radiant smile.

"Hi," Tom returned in the same fashion, hoping he wasn't smiling as stupidly as he felt. "Shall we?" He opened the door for Bill, but the kid looked hesitant.

"A-actually... I just got back from work and... um... well I thought... well the thing is that... I haven't really had dinner yet and I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a bite first? Totally included in your time, of course," Bill stuttered, blushing and fidgeting around with his jewelry.

Tom had a hard time keeping himself from laughing, both in amusement and delight; was Bill seriously asking him out to dinner?!

"U-unless of course you already ate!" Bill added quickly, giving him a slightly panicked look.

"I haven't eaten yet," Tom said gently; he hadn't even eaten lunch. He had just drunk large amounts of coffee and eaten a snickers bar in the office. So unhealthy. He was actually starving.

"Really?" Bill asked brightly. "I know this small sub place not far from here that has really good stuff."

"Sounds great." Tom nodded, following the kid up the street.

What did this mean? Up until now he hadn't actually thought about how Bill may be feeling about this entire thing, since he hadn't seriously considered anything other than casual sex, but... was Bill falling for him? Of course he knew Bill had an infatuation with him – that was obvious – but was there more to it? Dinner was a whole new level. One that Tom didn't ever really reach with people who shared his bed... Cuz seriously, who bothered to have dinner with one night stands?   
Of course dinner with a hooker was a lot worse, but whatever.

They walked in awkward silence while Tom contemplated what was happening here. Had things just gone from complicated to deplorably twisted? Having dinner with Bill was probably a horrendous idea, but he really wanted to. He couldn't even remember a time in his life when he had really wanted to just spend time with someone... Not that he didn't want to have the kid in his bed anymore – by all means – but... dinner first sounded nice too. He was unusually unrushed when it came to having sex at the moment. It was weird because usually he preferred to get right to it because everything else was a waste of his time, but not so now.

Bill cleared his throat awkwardly. "Here we are." He pointed at a rather dubious looking sandwich establishment that Tom would have never eaten at under normal circumstances.

"Hello," Bill greeted the lady behind the counter. "I'll have a ham and cheese sandwich, no tomatoes, please," he ordered politely, pointing at the picture of the rather bland looking sandwich.

Tom had the sudden silly desire to take the boy out to a fancy restaurant. What was wrong with him...? It was just like when he had the silly desire to make the kid's first time good... Except now it wasn't even about sex! What was happening?!

"What do you want?" Bill asked him with one of those adorable little smiles, gesturing at the scarce offers.

"Same you're having." Tom shrugged. Bill had eaten here before so he probably knew what was best.

Bill's smiled turned abashed as he looked back at the woman, ordering for him while the lady already prepared the other sandwich. 'I bet she hasn't washed her hands all day,' Tom thought disgusted.

"That'll be 4,50," she said gruffly as she handed them their sandwiches.

Tom's immediate instinct was to search for his wallet to pay, but Bill had already handed her a 5-dollar bill. Seriously? He was going to let some poor kid invite him to dinner? Okay so it was only a few dollars and a seriously crappy looking sandwich, but it was still so wrong. Especially because he was paying him to be here... And to... So wrong.

"I can pay you back," Tom said quietly as they took a step away from the vendor.

"No. I got it," Bill said immediately, shaking his head.

Should he insist on paying?

"Let's go!" Bill smiled brightly, taking the first bite of his sandwich as they slowly began walking back to the motel.

"Thanks," Tom said quietly, also taking a bite from the surprisingly not too disgusting tasting sandwich.

Judging by Bill's smile and blush, it was probably better he didn't insist on paying.

"So..." Tom began while they ate; this awkward silence was killing him. "Are you a student?" Did he even want to know these things...?

Bill pulled a sour face. "Yes. I'm studying business..."

To Tom's great surprise, he found he really did want to know these things about Bill. "Not enjoying it?" Tom himself had an MBA and had studied management; he knew how tedious that education was. Even though he had spent most of his days partying and drinking with Nathan...

"Ugh. No. I hate it. But my parents want it," Bill sighed tragically.

Tom chuckled. "I'm sure it brings good money."

Bill snorted. "I don't care about that! I mean... I do..." He added stupidly, giving him an unsure look and Tom couldn't keep himself from chuckling a bit. "But! I would much rather be a singer!" Bill continued happily.

Tom paused his eating in surprise. "A singer?" Now that was interesting news.

"Yeah..." Bill continued meekly. "I'm in a band with these friends of mine, but... you know... Breaking into the music business is kinda tough."

"I bet..." Tom said slowly, continuing to eat. He knew better than anyone just how tough that was, running the business.

"But maybe someday," Bill said enthusiastically.

Tom really wanted to say he wanted to hear him sing – because he truly did – but that was probably a bad idea. There was a 98,6% chance that Bill's music was total trash, and Tom was well aware how many dreams he had crushed over the years. It wasn't something he wanted to do with Bill. Let some other person tell him that his music was crap and he would never get anywhere with it.

"You write your own music?" Nevertheless, Tom was very curious. Bill did have a very sexy voice so maybe... 'No! Forget it! I don't want to know!'

"Yes we do! I write the lyrics and play the guitar, and my friends Georg and Gustav pitch in with tunes and all that on drums and bass," Bill continued happily.

"Have you recorded anything?" Maybe he could somehow listen in without having to give a professional opinion. After all, Bill had no clue who he was anyway.

"Yes! Just recently. I'm trying to pass the cd over to Trümper records – you know, that huge company? – but so far no luck... I have a friend who knows someone there, but he said the owner is a total dickwad who's only interested in getting laid and might not even listen to it, so our chances are probably not very good." Bill shrugged with a sigh while Tom cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Really," Tom muttered stiffly.

"Yeah, you know how all those rich assholes are. They have no idea what it's like for us poor people who actually have to work for a living!" Bill scoffed, shaking his head in disapproval.

Tom really felt like objecting because he had worked his ass off to get where he was, but it's not like he could defend himself right now. Besides... Bill was partly right; once Trümper records had been running smoothly, Tom had spent most of his time partying and screwing around... "I guess so."

"Yeah," Bill sighed. "And other than that, I work at a Chinese restaurant... It sucks, but at least I can pay my bills and... stuff." Bill gave him a flustered luck.

"Yeah, stuff." Tom chuckled, giving him a knowing grin that didn't fail to make the boy blush. "I'd love to hear that music of yours sometime." How did Bill even afford him, working in a Chinese restaurant? That couldn't be such good pay... At least not well enough to be able to afford Tom as often as the boy had. He would be broke soon... And then they wouldn't be able to see each other anymore...

"Really?" Bill asked surprised, giving him an adoring look.

~*~

Of course Bill knew the hustler was just being polite, but it was nice of him anyway.

And with that, they arrived back at the motel. And Bill's nervousness was fully back now too. No matter how often they came here, he was always really nervous. Of course today it had been different because they had even gone to dinner, which was beyond awesome, but now they were here again... Would Tom go for his next proposition too?


	20. Chapter 20

With a shaky break, Bill unlocked room 483, dropping his bag next to the chair.

“So,” the hustler said gently, shrugging out of his jacket the way he always did. “What can I do for you today?”

Bill swallowed thickly. “Um… Well… Can we continue where we left off last time?” This wasn’t actually his ultimate plan, but he would wait until later. Mostly because he didn’t know how to bring it across and because he was scared that the man would refuse; maybe this was as far as he would go, so he might as well spend an hour with him now before the man walked away.

Tom chuckled. “Where we left off last time… I thought Paul would take over that, so you wouldn’t be wasting your money,” he said with a wicked grin that made Bill’s stomach feel funny.

“Oh uh… um… yes… well… I haven’t really… um…” Oh god. Bill groaned internally.

“Haven’t gotten well acquainted with Paul yet?” The hustler raised an amused eyebrow.

Bill laughed embarrassed. “Not really… I-I… well I… um… I would much rather prefer it if… um…” Bill wanted to die. He was certain the man knew exactly what he was trying to say and was just torturing him for his own entertainment.

Awkward he stalked over to his bag to retrieve the brown paper bag in which he had hidden the toys, which he hesitantly held out to the amused hustler.

~*~

Tom was trying to contain his laughter at the stuttering kid handing him the bag. Last time he had been with him he had been so sure he never wanted to see him again, but now that he was here again… This was all he wanted. Even if this whole thing was ridiculous and mad. Was Bill seriously expecting him to use the toys? Was Tom even into that…? Despite having bought them, he had never actually used one because it seemed like such a waste of time – cuz seriously, what did he really get out of using a toy on someone?   
And on himself… no way. He wasn’t even sure if that turned him on or not… Maybe?

Whatever, right now was Bill’s time.  He was still mumbling something and fidgeting around with his manicured fingers, but Tom didn’t need to hear his words to know what he wanted; and the worst part was that he much preferred it that way too. To his great amazement, he discovered himself happy that Bill hadn’t ‘played alone’ yet. Why, was far beyond him. It was juvenile and silly, and yet he couldn’t shake the delighted feeling.

With two steps, he stood next to the nervous kid and pulling him close with a hand on the nape of his neck, nearly kissing him only to remember he wasn’t allowed to. But what was that look in the boy’s eyes? He looked so… hopeful? Expectant? Eager? Did he want to be kissed…? Should Tom dare?

Closing his eyes, he pulled the boy closer, burying his face in his hair instead; no. He couldn’t. What if he was misreading the signs and Bill didn’t want this? He was too scared to screw it up again; a feeling that almost made him laugh.

Instead, he tossed the bag on the bed and clawed his way under the boy’s tight shirt, pushing it up to reveal the breathtaking figure that had been his only road to completion in the past weeks that he had spent in bed with someone else; why he had done that was still beyond him. He had regretted every single time… It was hilarious. He felt guilty for having had sex with someone other than the person who was paying him… What was his life coming to?!

It wasn’t long before Bill’s cold, thin fingers found their way to Tom’s hair and raked through it; something the kid was obviously very fond it, and to Tom’s great surprise, didn’t bother him as much as it usually always had. As long as it was Bill touching him, he didn’t care where or how it was.

~*~

Though Bill was vastly disappointed the man hadn’t kissed him, he soon got lost in the warmth of his body and impatiently tugged on the hustler shirt; why was he still wearing that? That needed to go.

Tom complied easily, removing the unwanted fabric to reveal the delicious body Bill had fantasized about every time he had pleasured himself in the past few weeks. Finally, he could touch it again; it felt so much better than in his fantasies.

Their wanton groping soon led them to the bed, into which Tom let himself fall, pulling Bill on top of him with a quiet laugh. Bill also laughed a bit, looking down at the man lying underneath him and smiling up at him; was he just faking it? All the time? Or was that smile real?   
It looked very real…

Bill slowly lowered his head; should he dare kiss him? He really wanted to but… what if he was a terrible kisser?! He had never kissed anyone and had no idea how to go about that… What if he sucked at it?

Before Bill could continue with his dilemma, Tom rolled him to the side and crawled further up the bed, gently pulling him along. Bill followed him, hating himself for being such a coward.

“My turn,” Tom whispered huskily, giving him one of his trademark smirks that sent shivers down Bill’s spine.

“W-what?” Bill stuttered, not knowing what he was talking about.

The hustler chuckled, rolling Bill onto his back and straddling him, just the way Bill had done to him on their last encounter. “Oh,” Bill said stupidly, blushing a bit as the man immediately began kissing and nibbling down his neck, to his shoulder and chest.

Though in theory it was similar to what Bill had done, Bill was certain he had not been this assertive and rough. Not that he minded – he actually found it quite amazing. Was this the kind of ‘right situation’ Tom had been referring to when he had said he sometimes enjoyed it rough?

Bill mewled incoherently as the hustler sucked around on his neck, covering his body in goosebumps. Seriously, what was up with that? The whole neck this was amazing – Bill loved it. It made his entire body twitch.

While Bill was still busy enjoying the crazy sensations, the man’s right hand slowly began caressing down Bill’s sides, with a very obvious destination that sparked a familiar heat in Bill’s stomach, making him moan in anticipation.

It wasn’t long before the hustler’s hand unbuckled Bill’s belt, and the man sat up the remove the impractical article that was hell to remove; seriously, why did he wear such tight clothes on a night he knew someone else had to remove them?!

After throwing aside the remains of Bill’s clothes, Tom crawled up his naked body, grinding against him on the way up; it drove Bill crazy; especially when the man dragged his fingernails across Bill’s sensitive sides, making him squirm with the intense feeling, and then whispered in his ear; “I love your style – you’re so…ravishing.”

 _‘Oh right. That’s why I wear them_.’

Bill didn’t know how to reply to that, so all he managed was a rather piteous sound in his throat that sounded like a drowning cat and made the other man chuckle and bite softly into Bill’s ear. This was so not what Bill had done last time – or was it? Had he also been so… playfully rough?

Not that he minded, of course. Especially because at this point he was already so aroused his inhibitions started to fall, despite not even having been touched in any… sensitive areas yet; but the simple knowledge of where this was going, was enough to get him riled up and he pressed his heated body against Tom’s, wanting to feel his skin. Why the hell was the hustler still half dressed?!

Just as he opened his mouth to complain about the hustler’s clothing state, this one took the moment to slide his hands between Bill’s legs, making him squawk in surprise and stimulation. Why did he always make these horrible sounds?! Why couldn’t he moan properly and sexy like people in movies did?!

The embarrassing squawk was soon forgotten by Bill, because Tom’s hand was slowly followed by his mouth that lazily licked and kissed down further and further while the man’s hand gently rubbed Bill’s erection.

By the time Tom’s hot breath finally ghosted over Bill’s sensitive flesh, he was almost trembling in anticipation; it had been so long since they had done this… Why didn’t they do this more often?! Oh right… Because Bill was poor.

He gasped as the hustler suddenly licked over the tip of his head. Despite having been waiting for it, the sensation still shocked him with pleasure; this was so much better than masturbating… Bill moaned feverishly as Tom slowly took him into his mouth, twirling his tongue around him.

~*~

Curiously, Tom licked and sucked around on the kid, testing what other adorable sounds he could lure from him. Last time he hadn’t really enjoyed this part very much, but today he decided to view it from a different angle; from an experimental one.   
Due to his little practice in giving head, this was all mostly new territory for him, but today he was more willing than last time to give this a go. Bill seemed to have found it rather interesting the last time they had been here, so maybe there was something fascinating about it? Maybe he just wasn’t allowed to view as a blow _job_ , but rather as… something else. Why was that even called _job_? Cuz it was boring and tedious?

But it wasn’t really. At least not once Tom really began getting the hang of it and realized there was more to it than just letting the boy fuck his mouth; cuz that was actually somewhat tedious and uncomfortable.

Playfully, he intensified his ministrations a bit, running his tongue over all the curves, suckling and nibbling around at random. Though he knew – mostly from own experience – that the whole in-out thing was great and quickly lead to completion, that was not the current goal here. Or at least not yet.

His eyes fell on the brown paper bag and he smirked around Bill’s erection in his mouth. This should be interesting. All of a sudden he was really into the idea and felt playful; would Bill enjoy this? He’d brought them along after all, so he was open to the idea, right?

Without releasing Bill from his mouth, he reached over grab the bag with a loud rustle from the paper that startled Bill who fell silent immediately, obviously knowing where the sound had come from. Did he not want this? Should Tom ask…?

‘ _But how the hell does one ask that?! Hey do you want me to put this up your…? No way…_ ’ Tom thought drily. He never actually talked during sex – about the situation or anything else – so he felt kind of awkward doing so. But given the fact that Bill was still silent as the grave, maybe it would be better to make sure this was actually what he wanted? It was probably less embarrassing for him to ask, than for Bill to have to stop him later, right?

Tom groaned internally, releasing Bill from his mouth and moving up a little to see his slightly flushed face in the semi darkness of the cheap motel room. Bill gave him a confused, apprehensive look.

“I-is something wrong?” He stuttered breathlessly.

“No. No,” Tom assured him with a smile he hoped looked reassuring. ‘ _Since when am I the awkward one?_ ’ He almost laughed at himself. “Since you brought this along,” Tom said slowly, retrieving the purple bead chain from the bag – the green toy would have to wait because that was so not what they needed right now. “Do you want me to…?” God, this sounded so stupid. Now it was Tom’s turn to pray the boy didn’t need to hear the words.

Obviously Bill didn’t because he blushed, looking away and nodding quickly. Bill’s uncertainty was very reassuring, and Tom found himself smirking again; now he was actually looking forward to this. Why hadn’t he ever done this before? Why hadn’t he ever considered toys to be fun before?   
If he had, maybe he would know what the hell to do right now…

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

 

Tom nodded slowly while Bill bit around on his lip, and moved back down the kid’s body, kissing along his stomach in an attempt to stall so he could think of what to do next. The chain was a very ‘soft’ way to start, and perfect for someone as nervous and uptight as Bill.  
Tom gave a mental nod, pulling out the lubricant from the bag before pushing it aside and glancing up at Bill who looked away again, still blushing and biting his lip. He looked so cute.

This whole thing would probably be easier to do if the kid lay on his stomach, but then Tom remembered he was very nervous and probably needed a bit of incentive from other sides as well, judging by the fact that Bill’s erection had mostly faded; clearly Tom needed to be multitasking this.

Lazily, he took Bill’s cock back into his mouth, suckling around softly while he covered the purple toy with the cold gel. By the time the toy was fully lubricated, he had managed to harden Bill again, and then placed the toy on top of the bag, to test how ready Bill truly was for this.

While making sure never to release Bill from his mouth, he settled more comfortably between his legs, pushing the kid’s left leg up a little bit to have better access, and then began slowly caressing him at random to let him know where he was headed. His fingers were still smeared with gel as he gently brushed against Bill’s outer muscles, making him jerk slightly. Tom almost laughed; it wasn’t as if he had touched him all of a sudden or as if this wouldn’t be what Bill wanted, right? Why did someone even do something like this if they weren’t sure…? Or was he sure and just stunningly awkward about it?

Tom decided to continue with the slow massage, waiting for the kid to relax a bit, though he was taking quite some time.

~*~

After Bill’s initial embarrassment and nervousness began to fade, he really began to enjoy the touch that was actually a huge turn on despite only being so superficial, and he soon found himself relaxing and wishing the hustler would be a little more assertive. Should he tell him? No, that was too stupid… Besides, he wasn’t even sure if he was actually ready for more… Oh sure he was. Wasn’t he? Bill’s mind was deliriously debating with himself over what he wanted. Under normal circumstances, he would have been far too inhibited – which was also why he had never done this himself – but right now he was too aroused to care, and slowly pushed his body a bit against Tom’s hand to let him know he was ready for more. Despite having felt completely awkward and somewhat humiliated about the whole toy thing earlier, right now the idea was a huge turn on and he really wanted to know what it would be like.

~*~

Tom smiled quietly at himself and looked up in surprise as the flushed boy moved around a bit, his eyes closed and his fingers digging into the sheets while he anxiously licked his lips. Apparently he had adapted faster than Tom had thought he would – maybe the whole toy thing wasn’t even necessary… On the other hand, Tom wanted to play with it and since Bill had agreed, he decided to go with that, after all; it was something Tom had never done before either and since the situation presented itself, he might as well go for it.

Without removing his right hand from the kid’s eager body, he reached for the lubricated toy with his other hand and then replaced his fingers with the toy, gently rubbing the tip against the boy’s sensitive flesh for a moment to let him know what was touching him before he slowly pushed the first bead of the thin chain past the exterior muscles, causing Bill to jerk with a soft gasp.

~*~

The sensation of the bead being pushed inside his body was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and though it was quite small in size, the feeling made him shiver in surprised pleasure. The latex string between the beads was so thin that he barely noticed it, and his body accustomed to it immediately.

The hustler concentrated on pleasuring him with his tongue for a few more moments, before Bill felt the pressure of the second bead against his barrier, slowly pushing until it slipped inside him, making him groan with the unfamiliar pleasure. He didn’t even understand why it felt so good – the beads were quite small, yet they managed to make him moan feverishly – maybe it was also the psychological effect.

Bill gasped as the hustler slowly pulled one bead back out, almost making him twitch; the sensation was entirely different, and he felt his muscles clench instinctively.  
Apparently Tom had noticed this too, because he let his hand rest for a bit, only concentrating on Bill’s erection while Bill took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He couldn’t actually feel the tip of the toy inside him so he was quickly relaxed, and soon pushed against Tom’s hand again, shivering in anticipation as he felt the pressure of the bead sliding inside him once more.

It was only a few breaths later that the hustler slowly pulled on the chain again, this time giving Bill more time to relax as the bead was pulled out of him, making it more comfortable than it had been last time. However, this time around, Tom didn’t wait before pushing it back in, making Bill gasp loudly in pleasure and surprise.  
Bill found that he preferred the penetration over the withdrawal of the beads, though it became more and more comfortable each time the hustler removed the bead from his body, and it wasn’t long before Bill felt a stronger pressure from the third, slightly bigger bead pushing into him. Though the size difference was minimal, it was quite noticeable and Bill moaned in pleasure, welcoming the stronger feeling.

After having inserted the third bead, the hustler continued with the forth one, of the same size, that Bill willingly accepted into his body before the man slowly pulled them back out one after the other, always leaving the tip of the chain inside him, while Bill tried to get used to the stronger feeling.  
Again, the hustler didn’t wait before pushing them back in, making Bill moan deliriously.

~*~

It was difficult for Tom to concentrate on pleasuring Bill with his mouth while his hand was busy with the toy, and it took him quite a while to be able to coordinate both movements steadily without rushing. Even though this was a somewhat complicated task and earlier there had been a moment in which he had wondered if this had been such a good idea, right now he was certain it had been; Bill’s writhing and moaning was enough to tell him that this whole toy thing had been a brilliant idea, and he almost found himself a bit jealous; it seemed a lot better than the first time Tom had had something inside him… He had never particularly enjoyed bottoming and avoided it, though right now he was considering buying himself a toy like that as well to try it out. Bill seemed to enjoy it a lot so there must be something good about it, right?  
Besides, he was far more turned on by the addition of a toy than he had thought he would be. Up until now he had always thought toys was something only to be enjoyed by someone who couldn’t get anything else, but maybe he’d been wrong.

He replaced his mouth with his left hand, slowly stroking Bill’s throbbing erection so he could take a look at what he was actually doing. The slick, purple toy slid easily into the kid’s aroused body that trembled occasionally while he moaned, slowly beginning to roll his hips in accordance with Tom’s even movements.

Tom lifted his head a bit to look up at him; his face was slightly flushed, his eyes closed and he was chewing around on his bottom lip while his hands fisted around with the covers restlessly.  
Even though Tom’s own body was currently fully neglected, he was unbelievably turned on by the new situation and the willing beauty in front of him that quivered and gasped every time he pushed one of the beads inside him.

~*~

The rhythm was slow in withdrawing and slightly faster in penetrating, giving Bill time to adjust to each of the movements, and he was soon fully relaxed around the current size of the beads, letting them slide easily in and out of his body as he slowly began approaching a very early climax.  
The constant, soft increase and decrease of pressure against his sensitive entrance was driving him wild, and he pushed his body against Tom’s hand as his completion approached, pushing the fifth, again slightly bigger bead, inside him just as his orgasm washed over him with exquisite intensity that made him inhale sharply with pleasure.

While Bill orgasmed, the hustler slowly pulled the chain out of his body, making Bill jerk and groan blatantly with a whole new type of pleasure that he had never known before; it left him breathless and trembling, and wondering why he had never done this before. It felt so incredibly good. Why hadn’t he ever bought a toy like this and played with himself a bit…?  
The answer to that was simple: he was far too uptight and prude under normal circumstances, but right now his mind was still so lust-filled that he couldn’t understand himself at all.

Bill heard the rustling of the paper bag somewhere before the hustler lay down next to him on his side, looking at him with an unreadable expression that made Bill want to ask what he was looking at, but he found himself too weak and out of breath, so instead he just smiled lazily, rolling closer to him because he felt needy and wanted someone to hold him even if he was paying for it.

~*~

Tom settled a bit more comfortably against the pillows, draping his arm loosely around Bill’s sweating shoulders while he waited for the kid to come back down.  
Alright, so even if this hadn’t brought him any kind of physical pleasure whatsoever, it had definitely been worth it and he was glad he hadn’t simply ‘taken’ the boy the other night. He still couldn’t understand why he preferred to make sure the boy had a good time rather than assuring his own pleasure, but he was slowly starting to accept it as a fact.

“Mmh,” Bill moaned lazily, burying his face in Tom’s chest. “That was so good. You were right – way better than just ‘getting it over with’.”

Tom chuckled, not knowing what to say. This hadn’t really been his initial plan at all, but things had worked out even better; he was glad Bill had come back. Not just because he enjoyed playing with the toy, but also because he really enjoyed… him. In general.

“Tis the reason why I wanted you to do that. So much better than some idiot like Andreas who has no idea what he’s doing,” Bill mumbled sluggishly.

Even though Tom tried to ignore his curiosity, knowing it was none of his business, he couldn’t help but ask anyway. “Who’s Andreas? Your ex?” Was he the reason Bill was here to begin with? This whole thing still made no sense to him and there were actually so many things he wanted to ask Bill, but knew it was totally inappropriate.

“Pfff!” Bill gave a snorting laugh. “God no. He’s some kid I work with who’s got a crush on me. And I mean he’s totally nice and all, and even kinda cute, but so not what I want.”

“What do you want?” Tom asked softly, feeling a twinge of nervousness in his stomach; what was wrong with him?! Was he seriously falling in love with this guy?! ‘ _Of course I am, duh_.’

Bill lifted his head, giving him a slightly distressed look before moving away and getting off the bed to get his clothes. “The time is up soon – we should leave.”

They actually still had almost 15 minutes left.

Tom couldn’t ignore the cold feeling that spread through his chest, immediately extinguishing the earlier passion. Of course _he_ wasn’t what Bill wanted – he was just a random hustler that the boy paid to… to do something that Tom wasn’t sure of what it was yet or why.

Of course there was nothing he could say, so he simply fixed his clothes and put the toy back into the bag before handing it to Bill.

Once Bill was done getting dressed and fixing his hair as much as possible, he handed Tom a $100 bill with a cheerless smile. “Thanks,” He muttered, turning away as soon as Tom took the money he really didn’t want.

They went downstairs in silence where Bill gave up the key and they exited into the parking lot together. “I’ll see you around then,” Bill said softly.

Tom was so confused; the kid had invited him to eat something earlier and now he was acting all weird… Had that really just been random because he had been hungry? Earlier Tom had had such a different impression of the situation – had he misinterpreted the whole thing? Since when did he have such a serious lack of judgement?

Maybe he should just tell him the truth and ask him out, the way normal people did…

“Bill?” He said hesitantly, walking a few steps towards him as he turned around with an eager look.

“Yeah?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,  
> I'm afraid I don't post this story here anymore, but if you want to keep reading, it's posted here:  
> https://www.wattpad.com/user/JasonPeace


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